does it suck?

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by guardian_tnaos, Sep 9, 2005.

  1. guardian_tnaos

    guardian_tnaos Member

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    plz be honest. this is the first happy love poem i have written and it is very important to me for this poem to be perfect. every other peom i have written has been about depression. so plz comment and give suggestion and or criticism. i would really be thankful for any of these or advice.

    once upon a time
    not so long ago
    i first heard your voice
    and my soul was lit aglow.

    you whispered words so true
    so soft
    and when i knew you loved me
    my heart was brought aloft.

    together we continued
    through to this very day
    and when i think of how i feel
    there's nothing i can say.

    you've given me so much more
    than fairytales could offer
    not with titles or with riches
    but with a different kind of prosper.

    forget all those people
    who shouldn't have said never
    because together we will live
    happily ever after.
     
  2. pansy

    pansy Member

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