So when I was 15 I met the person who (to this day) I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life with. From the time I was 15 until I was 21 we were together and have shared everything (except major organs literally!) So about four ago months we broke up because of some issues I needed to deal with alone in the time we have spent apart I began to date some else and have sence broken that off due to the fact of the love I feel for my ex. He loves me as well but is hurt at the choices I have made over the past 4 months and does not know how to get past it. Any pointers as to how to fix a relationship that you know is cosmic and met to be would really be nice! I know we can get past this but I don't know how to make him trust me agin thats the biggest thing! ANY ideas are most welcome........
All I can say is that it would be hard for me too to accept that my girl took a break from me and had other lovers in the meantime. I guess only time can help, as it cures everything.
Been there, took 3 years to get over it. And if I ever see her again I'll probably fall head over heels again and take her back in a flash. Sorry, I'm stupid, don't listen to me.
Well my main reason was my mental state!!! I had been taking antidepressants for over 7 years and the DT's caused problems were I lashed out at everything and everyone I could not enjoy sex nor wanted it and just needed to move home get clean and let him breath as well... He has been threw hell with me and I thought it would be good for the both of us. I never thought that I would meet someone else and I know that it was just a way to deal with not being with my ex.... GOD!! I feel like the worst person...... But I've learnt alot and just want to make things right...
Just talk to him, he should love you for you and who you are, not for the decisions you made while you 2 were apart. I know it's hard to get past shit like that, but if he really wants to be with you he will be and eventually put it in the back of his mind.
I can only advice alot of talking. And just spending a bit of time together and give it alot of time. If you two really found eachother like that it should go ok. I really hope you didn't break something permamently, although most wounds can be healed by time. Just give it time and talk alot and else give it a bit of 'forgetting time' just make sure he knows how much you still love him and just try the best. Goodluck!
attraction at first sight, love comes later even though I think you are crazy, tell him how you feel, nothing I can say will really help, you guys have to work at it
Jane, I'd say you totally have to just wait it out, be patient and give it time. If he's hurt or the trust isn't completely there, you need to just wait and see if things get better. There's nothing you can do to make someone not hurt, or to trust you. Trust me. If you feel it is *meant to be* then why PUSH it? If it IS meant, it will happen. Unless you are doubtful that by some chance it is not meant to be, there is no reason to feel insecure that things won't fix themselves over time and communication. And, if you do hold some doubt--- then by all means, live your life, and do what you feel during this time apart from him.. you don't want to *pine* over someone who doesn't plan on being with you. It will only hurt you. I'm not saying to completely cut him off, but detach yourself enough to protect yourself in case things DON'T work out. And, I'm sorry, but no matter how much you *love* each other, if you two were broken up, he really has no right to be upset about you dating someone else--- it's your life, and if you aren't together, you can do what you will with it, and he needs to accept that. Sure, he can be jealous or hurt all he wants, but there is no reason for you to feel guilty about that; that's HIS problem. Just be careful. Remember, you need to put yourself first in this situation. Regardless of how he feels, you need to think about YOU and what you need and what you want. He can figure out what he wants himself.
I know how that feels all too well, however, he knows this about you--- and he should be taking that into consideration. If he can't FORGIVE you, there is NO relationship. It wasn't YOUR fault, you had a problem... I know how that goes, it wasn't like you chose to be such a way, and if he can't see that, then he doesn't know YOU. I'll give my ex props for that one, he put up with a lot of my mental instability for a good portion of the beginning of our relationship, and realized that it wasn't me, and that it would subside. If your man can't wake up and see that, then fuck it.
Thats the best flippin advice I've heard yet!!! Thank you so much for that!! The one thing (I need to work on is how to let go!) though cause I've always been the one to want to fix thigns right then and there!! It's the Capricorn in me I suppose...
i understand you taking a breather for yourself. i happens in alot of relationships. people need time to figure personal things out and sometimes its something even a supportive boyfriend can help with. its a good thing to do if the relationship is suffering because of unresolved issues. what i don't understand is why you would want to date anyone else knowing you love your man and he would be hurt by you doing that, even though you were broken up. probably made him feel like you had ulterior motives for breaking up, i might think something like that if it was me. anyway, my point is, whats done is done and when you've hurt someone who cares for you it is hard for them to forgive and forget. people do things without realizing the consequences. and depending on your boyfriend's personality, you may have put the nails in the coffin.... maybe you need to sit and have a heart to heart with him or write him a letter explaining how you didn't mean to hurt him, why you did the things you did, and how deeply you regret how you handled the situation. tell him you want more than anything to be together and give him time to think about what you said..... and do just that, you needed your time and space, and now is the time to give him his. hopefully things can be worked out in time......... good luck
Well Number one he's a scorpio!!! Yhea so forgetting will never happen and as for the other boyfriend your right! He did feel like that was a reason for the break up although it was not. The letter has been wrote and we have met once before but he says theres to much confusion right now so I'll give him his space and see what happens but he was with someone else too although it was almost two months after we borke up but he had sex with another person... so for me I feel like we should both forgive and forget......
the only reason i assumed that was my ex boyfriend gave me some lame excuse about concentrating on school when he was secretly back with his ex. all this right after i found out i was pregnant. so anyway, thats how i felt....... and i was right
