how do you stop caring about someone?

im a bit drunk now but how do you stop caring about someone?

tonight i bumped into my ex girlfreind. she looks dreadful. its so sad. she was on drugs. she used to be such a beautiful person. she likes hanging out with the wrong crowd now. she puts up with her boyfreind, who is a drug dealer/user/loser. it upsets me so much. and for some reason she is happy with how he treats her. i hate to say it but im ebarassed that i went out with her and now she has turned into this...of course she will justify it to herself. but really she is a sad person. she has changed for the worse. an intelligent girl gone. she hangs off him and accepts all kinds of crap. she loves him. and she is ruining her life. i could have given her anything. i went about things the wrong way. she didnt want to be safe. i looked out for her. i have failed.

why does she need to be this way? why am i caring? she is a different person now. not the girl i loved. she could have been better than the girl i once knew. but she has gone. i dont want that to happen to anyone else. ill have to try and be more careful in how i behave next time i have a girlfreind. the site of her tonight is goinbg to leave me depressed for a while now.

if she found a guy who was good to her id be so happy. she doesnt need the kind of guy she has now. but its what she wants.

im going to regret posting this and no one probably cares and everyone would think im being stupid. but i dont care. im so tired of caring about her but i just cant stop

 

I asked the same thing but discovered that you never stop caring.

If you love someone once you love them forever, it's just the nature of that love that changes.

I still care a lot about my ex, (even though she is often quite hostile to me). In fact everyone I have ever fallen for I have a deep bond with, even it's not exactly the type of bond I would've liked.

Don't kick yourself for caring.

Blessings

Sebbi

 

fuck her.....if she wants to flush her life down the bog...just be thankful she's now yer ex.....


You seem to be compastionate, adn that's admirable, but yer can only do so much...gotta let her live her own life the way she wants to.....it's her decision and only she can change it, if she ever wants to

 

Caring about someone is a beautiful thing but it can have its troubles. This same thing happend to me but my ex acualy went out with my drug dealer! it was very troublesome. She was such a bright young girl and i did care about her. I seen her life go to hell when we broke up. But i let her go. I havent seen her in years and i have no idea what ever happend to her. It seems that you are deling on the matter to much.
If i were you id eather try to help her or just let her go as i did.
She is the one making the wrong disions not you so dont feel so bad about it all.
Maby, hopfully when she hits rock bottem shell see what she has gotten her self in.
All you can do is eather try to help or let her go. But you can never stop caring. Just dont ever feel like it is your fault.
Keep peace of mind my friend~

 

how can i let her go? ive been up all night worrying. i know how parents must feel when their kids go to live with charles manson.

i know this worrying wont get me anywhere. she herself would tell me to let her make her own mistakes, or that im over reacting. ive gotten myself so worked up i guess. i wish i cared about someone who appreciated it.

i wonder what her parents thing? im so tempted to ring her mum but she would tell me to not worry and she has to make her own mistakes...

 

To put it simply, you don't. If you ever love someone, with a true love, then they'll always be in your heart.

I had lunch with my ex the other day, helping him run his lines for our school play this year. His girlfriend, who I've never been overly fond of, came up and got pissy because we were running lines together, which was something she usually did with him. I told her that it was what we used to do before we hooked up, and he needed someone to reherse with before practice that day. aftre she walked off, my ex and I had a long talk about her. Before he left, he gave me a big hug and told me he still loved me, just in a different way.

I tried so hard right after the break up to avoid him to stay away from uncomfortable situations, but in the end, we both still loved each other as friends so much that we couldn't stay away from each other.

You never stop loving them, and you always wonder what could have been. That's what I've learned.

Let your ex know that you still care for her and that you are worried for her well being. She needs to know that there are good people who care.
<3 Jo

 

miss jo has the right idea. I have failed my ex girl friend. Id say try to just let her know that youll always there for her no matter what. If you care about her so much then you cant just let her go. obviously your heart needs to resolve this befor you can be at peace.Good luck

 

she doesnt want me to care about her. i just get in the way. it just scares me so much. i guess she will learn the hard way...

its like she is immature and i never noticed it before.

there is something really wrong. really wrong. she complains about him all the time and yet stays with him. she is way better than he is. or at least used to be.

I dont know why she cant see what she is doing...

Im worried sick about her. Of course when i tell her this all she can say is "f#ck off".

I guess she has to make her own mistakes.

I hope she doesnt die or ruin her life.

 

you should worry bout yerself ....for whatever reason if something is a dead end ....you cant think bout it and focus on what you gotta do ......sounds cold hearted but it aint ...its real ...and the other way aint healthy .

 

yeah i know. i have to leave her behind. where she wants to be.

i have to focus on myself.

i guess running into her like that creeped me out. made me sick.

i have to hope one day she sees whats really going on. its up to her.

im sorry everyone for whinging like this.

 

I looked dreadful? Well, thanks a lot Fabio, that really makes my day.

You know what, if I was on drugs, they were dropped on me, because I didnt take anything.

I dont see what I've ever sone to make you come on here and air my personal life, as if its yours to share, its not.

How nice it is of you to find me shameful, embarrassing, and wish you didn't know me.... With what you've said about me, I regret ever meeting you.

 

All you can do is express your concern, once you've expressed it then there's not a lot more you can do.

I gather you have expressed it so yeah, leave it.

Remember that it is not a crime to worry. Remember that it is not a crime to love when that love isn't neccesarily wanted.

All you can now is to remember not to surpress your fears or to exaggerate them, and remember that you can't except yourself to manage that either.

It's going be tough until you are more fully over her and/or she's sorted herself out a little. You've just got to accept that I guess, or (I know maybe not the best advice I've ever given) find something to distract yourself from her. Well, not distract yourself, just pour yourself into meaningfully. Find someone else, embark on your latest artistic project, etc etc etc.

Good luck with it.

Blessings

Sebbi

 

time shall heal ur wounds

 

Time. I dated someone for 4 years. It took me about 3 to truly get over him. Now I can't even imagine ever wanting to start a romantic relationship with him again.

That sounds cliche, but time ...is really it. I don't think there's a magic solution.

 

people seem to miss the point. i dont care anymore that she broke up with me and i definately dont want a relationship with her. i just cant see how any sane person can be happy to go out with a drug addict/dealer. but what ever. im over it.

 

Time and no comunication man, that's it. I tried with a girl from Germany and it broke my heart when it didn't work out.
Good luck

 

i don't know. i've been broken up with my ex for over 7 years now, and i still care.

 

Unspoken, it is time to move on. She has, indeed, made a mistake, but it was hers to make, and I can guarantee that she will be constantly having second thoughts. But so what? Let her find out the hard way, if she hasn't already! Many women find wankers totally addictive, and KNOW they are with total wankers, but cannot help themselves. That's just the way things are.


As for you, why worry anymore about this girl, now? Oz is BURSTING with hot chicks, fer Krisssakes, so you gotta get among it, dude. Stop wondering if there was anything you could have done, stop trying to analyse why she does what she is doing. Stop it. Slap yourself everytime you think about her.

The ironic thing is the best way you can make her REALLY realise the error of her ways is to move on, go out with other girls, and DO NOT feel sorry for yourself. It is an unattractive trait that women can 'smell' on a man a mile off.

It's time to get on with your life and look after YOU. She is now in the past, there will be plenty more She's in your future. Now, go gettem, Tiger. Don't look back. The world awaits you, when you are ready.