The... has anyone had a number two yet thread..

and how did you dispose of sed napkin HMMM!? did you LITTER?!

 

Hey, it's paper...it's bio-degradeable

I just hope nobody saw it and thought "Ah, that'll do for roach material!"


hehehe...I can imagine a group of people sat around later smoking a joint..."Hey man, this is good shit!"

 

Hahahhaha!!.. yuck!!

 

I have actually found it rather valuable and edifying reading about my fellow forumers' bowel movements and pooing habits. Not a waste of poowidth at all. I think we should all talk more about our excretory habits. In fact I'm off to go and do a poo now.

 

oh good on ya showmet... tell us how it went!!

 

He hasn't got back to us yet...IS HE STILL IN THERE?!!

Maybe he didn't poo...maybe he GAVE BIRTH TO A MUTANT ALIEN THAT FED ON HIS BRAINS!!!

Maybe he flushed, then FELL IN AND GOT SWEPT AWAY TO THE SEWERS?!!





Maybe I need to shut up and get a life...and stop POOING IN BUSHES!!!

Power THIRTEEN!!!

 

Phew! Now THAT was an almighty poo!

 

Wow! Well done!!! That surely must get an award for the longest poo ever

*hands Jon a glass of JD's*

(and drinks the rest to herself )

Muahahahaha

 

I just contacted the Guiness Book Of Records people. They said that for it to be a world record, there must be proof such as video recording or photographic evidence.

Then I told them what the world record you'd tried for was, and they said never mind, they'll take your word for it.

 

My miraculous bowels did me good service throught the festival, and I survived the five days, but the day I got back I had at least five poos, including three on the train! I'm currently on about 2-3 a day at the moment, it's all been stored up and it keeps on flowing out....

 

Feck me.. 5 poo's in a day.. thats bloody good going.. I've only had 2 poo's since I got back.. I dont know where I'm storing my waste

It can't be healthy!!

 

Im sure you will all do yourself a mischief

the toilets used to be much much much worse

and really you must force yourself to go

I personally prefer the outdoor open top toilets if you want to pee try whistleing

it works for horses to if you want to get them to pee

if you want to do a number two make sure you have nothing in your pockets that may fall down toilet like mobile phones money ect

go into toilet if you dont like touching doors ect handle them with a little bit of toilet paper

lower trousers I personally wouldnt sit on the seat just hover a little above it
and then say this little poem

if you want to shit we ease
put your elbows on your knees
give a grunt
and give a squeeze
and out it comes like moldy cheese

(poem written on toilet wall south wales 1970s)

wipe your bottom pull up your trousers and leave
then go and wash your hands

this is all the advice I can give you
force yourself to go
eat lots of bean burgers and tell yourself that doing a number two is one of your goals for the next festival

well done claire

 

i pooed whilst there.. its not natural to keep it in people!!!

 

Aye, but by the looks of you on Sunday night I'd say you made a bit of a mess of it....

 

Well i managed to go! Don't know who said but i agree, it's bad to keep it in guys!!! I didn't think the toilets were THAT bad this year to be honest, the only bad things i found were piss on the seat because boys obviously can't pee straight, haha! And Ellie, who *IS* that guy under all your posts??!?!?!?!? hmmmm

Lots of love and ermm poo?!
x x x x x

 

Thats Island dweller.. He belongs to me tho

 

No, he's mine, hands off biatch!

*draws hangbag!*

 

All that waste is being stored in that enormous melon you call your head. That's what I think.

 

Is it a fight you want

 

can you stop being mean to me thankyou very much!!