I'm broke, but have an idea.

I am going to auction myself off. For a grand total of one week. Keep in mind ladies, I cook, clean, do laundry, AND run errands. On top of my sexual prowess. Lets start the bidding at $100.


Do I hear $100?

 

i have two tin cans and a bottle cap, what would that get me?

 

that will get you a specimen jar full of semen. yum.

 

oh goody, guess now i dont have to cook dinner...

 

its frozen, so you will have to defrost first

 

i need someone to clean my house. i have a toddler that i get to just stare at while she trashes the place....it's driving me crazy.

 

YES!

 

One billion dollars....


Adam, I will cook, clean and run my own errands. May I keep you?

 

200$

 

$201.25

I'm straight pimping

 

is this why youre wanting to sell your car?

 

$300

 

420$

 

840$ in Food Stamps over the next 84-Months.

 

I'm broke): but I will give ya a hug and I have lots of toys at work to play with and I've been told I make for nice converstaion...I haven't been told that tonight though apparently I'm not worth effort, expect too much and don't give people the benefit of the doubt): All along I though I was a decent person untill I got told 'fuck you' the whole night while I was calm and trying to be easy going and not put pressure on someone but I just can't win. Am I really that freaking unlovable? dammit

 

you can always put on a thong and work the streets for a buck or two

 

$1,000

 

thats why microwave ovens were made...


i also found a gum wrapper, some lint, pieces of tin foil, and some crumbs...

that should buy me a ticket to a clean bathroom...

 

*sniffle* 201.25? And I thought we had a bond


Alright guys biddings up to a $1000, do I hear $1100

Remember, I'm really broke AND own two cars, so while I'm running errands you can still be out spending money

 

$2,000