When I'm sober (which, I'll have you all know, is most of the time), I can kid myself that I'm a fairly decent soul: honest, considerate and fair-minded. But whenever I've tossed back more than five or six drinks, my Inner Asshole starts to take control--and boy oh boy, does he ever run with the ball. Nothing compounds the agony of a hangover like a crushing dose of remorse over party fouls I've committed or bad first impressions I know I'll never be able to revise. What about you? Is your Inner Asshole anything like mine? Check the list and find out. 1. Playing Mr. Know-It-All. Okay, so my history degree has proven absolutely worthless. That's no excuse to buttonhole fellow bar patrons with foreign accents, learn whence they hail, and show off how much I know about the history of their motherland. I mean, come on, is a Greek chick really going to drop her pants for a guy who says, "'Eleutheria i Thanatos'--'Freedom or Death'--that's one hell of a national motto, lemme tell ya!" 2. Playing Mr. Tough Guy. Let's get it out of the way: I'm a pussy. In all my life, I've been in exactly three fights. Two I lost soundly; the third was against a man more than twice my age. The biggest triumphs of my athletic career were playing third-string midfielder for a Division II college lacrosse team from which no one had ever been cut, and jumping out of an airplane while snugly strapped to the chest of a genuine badass. In my cups, this all changes. I start using armed forces jargon I've picked up from friends and hint darkly at underworld connections. I wouldn't swear to it absolutely, but I believe I've claimed at various times to be an ex-Marine or ex-cop. Only God's grace kept me from being beaten senseless by a REAL ex-Marine or ex-cop. 3. Playing Mr. In-Recovery. Really, I've had it pretty good most of my life. No serious substance abuse problems, no soul-crushing breakups. All the same, when the booze hits me and I feel like talking, some force compels me to channel one of the Hank Williamses. My youthful dabblings in drugs turn into hells barely escaped; my basically decent ex-girlfiends into harlots or harpies. If memory serves, it's in these rants that I really flash the acting chops, slapping the bar for emphasis, leaning in close to my interlocutor so's he'll know that I'm entrusting him with a dark personal secret. Really, I play the Broken Man so well, certain people would probably be very disappointed to learn that I'm just a loud drama queen.
Me too Booga. I have a habit of bringing up things that are pissing me off! Best not drink alcohol i think, hardly ever do it now. R.
ha ha...hahahahahahahhahaahhahhaahhah ahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahaha we should go out i do the same when drunk.. drunk is so bad really. i dont do it becuase of that. my know it all tactic is ... philosophise.. 'none of this is real you know...' tough girl.. 'i left home at sixteen' miss in rcovery.. well i am. like everyone, we all are recovering from omehitng. we are always hea;ling.. always helaing our minds and hearts but yeah.. funny funyy. i like youre style.. its fun to get it out hey?.. thats its all a dram ueen.. but dont discredit yourself that bad.. idf you want to get to know yourself godd atsrt becuase you know whats not real.. now tough art look at what is real vblah blh blah more psychobabale, take what you want.. im mad too...
I like the way you think! If you have to let your inner asshole out, you might as well do it after you've had a few, so people will know better than to take you seriously! _________________
when i drink i get relaaaaxed, and then sometimes i go over the deep end into completely wasted. I assume we're talking about a little drunk, because after 10 shots nobody has a personality
im so cool when i get drunk.. i just crack jokes and hit on peoples parents and dance like my clothes are made of titanium strength fibres and my bones are stainless steel
