is an incredibly sad lonely drunken old ciggerate smokin woman. i have a feeling i make her feel terribly inadequate and unhappy when i try to help her change or point things out i think would help her become happy. she deserves happiness soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo godamn much. such a sweet lady, truely a good parent and very very loving lady, just not bright and very lonely and sad and destructive(towards herself). i know she wants to change but it must be so tough on her, having her husband pass away about 5 years ago and then having this freak of a son live with her and drag her through my own crap as well. i feel like i can do nothing but be the strong intellectual character i just naturally am which pushes her even futher from connecting to me and herself too in a way, which makes me so sad and frusturated. i always see her making half assed attempts i inspire at quitting her habits but it never sticks because its well, half assed. hard work when your that deep in addiction is incredibly difficult i imagine and i feel so much for her. so much that it pains me to think about her and really look her in the eye more often than not i just suppress her out of mind.
You can't change people and there views when they are older. I learned this with my mom. The hard way.
to an extent i want to agree but at the same time when she is clear headed and free from the booze for even just an hour more than when her usual beer opening time... i can tell their is something of a perceptive, calm, and intelligent person there just waiting to break free. but she kills this part of herself every night, and consequently the next day with the bad brains she waters every night with her drinks, and with her bad eating habits too. i want to tell her she has bad karma when certain things happen to her, and i wanna try to convey how truely important and how helpful a healthy diet can be with almost anything, but due to certain circumstances she always intreprets these things so terribly wrong.
indeed, a friend of mines mom had a stroke in june of last year... he was 22 and taking care of her fulltime + job. not a good scene.
well my mom goes to work lays on the couch eats chips and cheese and chocolate drinks keystone light smokes nasty old woman cigs cannot be inside this house without the television on (you should see the disarray when the power goes out) oh yeah did i mention never leaves the couch unless its to get a beer, chips/snack food of some sort, use the bathroom, or go to work. This woman gets 6 weeks of paid vacation + 2 weeks sick leave a year. I have seen her not leave the house for months at a time. Its not agoraphobia either. I think its hardcore depression. I have no idea what to do. *frown.*
I disagree, I mean I agree to some extent, but I have changed the view of a few old people toward certain things, including my parents. The thing is, older people think that because they have been around longer, they are smarter, therefore they are always right. You can educate them and persuade them that certain things are better your way. the secret is to make it seem like they made the choice and you are agreeing with them instead of them agreeing with you. Kinda like reverse psychology
Hey Bro-I'm sorry your Mom is so sad and that it is also making your own life hard too. I don't think it has anything to do with age either. I have seen some pretty Sad younger people too with the same issues. Whatever age-they don't think they deserve much and that comes from being told that they don't.... some place along the line. So your problem then is getting your Mom some help. I know you are doing so much BUT it's not your job either. Even as a son! You have your own life to think about too. So lay it out for her and get her into some therapy to help her and you too. Your mom had to be special to birth the person you are Bro. Your one of the nicest and loving Hippies on here and you care about a lot of stuff in life. What you have to get your Mom to realize is her life is NOW HERE and NOT... NO WHERE. It's the same letters but how you chosse to use them. Hey.... and remember you ALWAYS have family and COMMUNITY here Man. If you need us we are here for you! Peace The Wiz
my mom's like that only she has a boyfriend who has a wife and they live alltogether. but the wife is a psycho
that's so sad, i hate when my parents get stuck in self destructive cycles like that... she sounds pretty into it too, so i'm not sure if there's much you can do yourself. i don't know how affectionate you are or feel comfortable being toward her, but sometimes a big hug and a sincere "i love you" make a difference.
