Alright, this is going into psychology here but I understand that one has to show feeling and understanding which ofcourse we all do it to some degree, but do you find that when it comes to true feelings that really touch someone or if you think has touched someone, it somehow makes you vulnerable? Somehow? Sometimes it is hard to express any sort of feeling because of such a thing? just feeling vulnerable is not something that a guy is used to doing? I will give you a very simple example... expressing gratitude to someone really close to you, not a friend- but lets say a family member, like a brother, a sister... there is this level of embarrassment involved when it comes to feeling that feeling to express whatever it is we wish to express. Alright, another example... going up to a girl you like and asking her out.
i have the hardest time with that. i wasn't raised to be very open or emotional. i've had to learn a lot from dave, whose family is pretty much the opposite of mine and totaloly capable of expressing themselves. i'm still not very good at it, and dave has to nag me sometimes to open up. the 'kinder, gentler' emotions are nearly impossible for me to get out, and when i'm really hurt i just can't speak. i just kinda shut down, go all stiff upper lip. and when i'm really angry, i can't function. but the more daring things, like asking someone out, i had to get over. if i didn't do the asking, i was never going to go out on a date.
I think that if you are fond of a person then you are more vulnerable to a verbal attack from that person than somebody you don't know, or don't respect. If somebody you don't respect or don't know insults you, well they are stupid in your opinion already and you don't care, but if somebody you love and look up to insults you, you really feel awful.
from 8-15 I tried to suppress all emotion activly, now I can't openly show affection for a fellow human being, without it being incredibly blunt and unwieldy I don't think it's because of embarassment, initially I just viewed emotion as a weakness and now I'm just inept in that area....
i'm a total idiot about the whole thing. i can be fierce and loyal all day and night, but expect me to be mushy and i just kinda freeze up and hope it goes away. and i despise crying. it give me a headache.
I d/k man. I'm very empathetic to the feelings of others, most especially in a relationship where intimacy grows. Sometimes though I expect the same in return and it doesn't happen. it's good to be open and communicate but when somebody close tries to use your own feelings against you, to hurt you emotionally, it's time to question their motives and assess the relationships meaning, can things be resolved or are they going to keep doing this, move on or not. It sucks though if it's family because you can't really move on from them. You can move away but they'll always be there.
