Hi all, Not another "should I tell her question"... My question is simply this, why tell someone that you love them? If it is obvious that you love each other (you both 'feel' it) and you both are naturally great together then what does actually saying "I love you" add to the relationship? Is it some sort of tie to that person. "I love you, your mine" kind of thing? I was told in India that people do things for 3 reasons, money, name and fame. I think that is very true for most people in most circumstances, but then there's something else. Something that I and I guess most of us "hippies" do things for, I'm not sure what it is that makes us naturally generous, kind and caring but I do know that I almost never have any motivation behind my daily actions. But now I'm in love I'm wondering where telling the person sits with the above? This people, is why I didn't sleep last night!! Cheers
I gotta say, that my problem is the opposite.. I have a hard time believing in love.. or at least love for someone other than my mother/father. I am married, (I'd say not too happily) and I can't honestly say that I love him. I don't really see a point in using the word because (for me) all it does is cause pain.
For me telling someone you love them is sort of an important part of a relationship. It is not always a romantic love you feel for someone. I tell my kids I love them everyday and hug them, I think that makes us a strange family I guess. Even when I am angry (very angry) at them I will say something like "I love you very much however I am not happy with what you have just done". Telling a partner you love them is a wonderful thing too. I know when someone tells me they love me it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Love is not conditional but a feeling that never goes away even when you are fighting or angry with each other. I know no matter how angry I get and upset with my partner I still love him heart and soul!!!
Why NOT tell someone that you love them? Why look back on your life years down the road and wonder "what if"? You never know how long you have on this earth, I say, tell those who you love, that you love them. Live life with no regrets. Can you be guaranteed mutual feelings in return? No. But at least it's out there, and you've said how you feel. If the feeling isn't mutual, then you can move on and heal.
No, you're not strange at all. Our family (my husband, our three children and I) are the same exact way. We are very expressive, and not a day goes by without "I love you's", no matter what the circumstances of the day.
My family wasnt big on the "i love you's" infact, my parents hardly say it at all... I tell those I love, that I love them cause I do, simple as that... when I start a family, I will understand the importance of telling them everyday how much i love them..
Hmm, some interesting replies. I can see your points too, and have been through them in my head over and over again! I guess I'm wondering what the motivation is behind telling them - and I suppose simply it is to make them feel "warm and fuzzy inside". I guess that I've always been scared to tell someone that I love them. I don't feel that it renforces or strenghts my love for them but it does kind of feel like I'm opening the door completely. Perhaps because I've not had many "I love you" in my life I'm wary that there's a motivation behind it (which there often has been) and that I will get very hurt (which I always have done). That's why I can sympathise with Albin0. But now I'm in a position to say it I realsise, as Enonomouse says, it is unconditional (on my part). Hard to believe in this day and age, hence my confusion I suppose. I'm laughing to myself now, and thinking that if she would just say "I love you" to me then I'd feel much happier returning it. But then I'd be asking "what is the motivation behind someone telling you that they love you"!!! LOL. Just when my life was happy and uncomplicated! And hippychickmommy, well said. Why not indeed?
it's a societally recognized step in furthering a relationship, by trusting them enough to tell them you love them. i didnt' get to hear it much growing up, so i make a point of saying it. it takes a lot of courage to get it said. and it takes more courage and strength to be able to say it when you're angry or unhappy with them. i never pass up the opportunity, because you never know when you'll see them last.
Well I said it last week and it was great. She couldn't say it back (said as much) yet because she has had bad experiences in the past, but she was happy that I'd told her. Then... today things went a bit pear shaped and I realised why I've not said it before. You leave yourself wide open to have your heart trampled on, and that hurts more than holding back the urge to say it. I thought that I was going to loose her, and I guess for a short while I had. Anyway, we will be okay, it's just other people trying to pull us apart. Life sucks in that way. Another bump in the road...
