A lesson for the future...

Rev. Thommy says:

so tell me a story

Dr. Bill says:

one day, piper noticed that his shoes were different

B:

the story goes

B:

it took him a few days but eventually he rang me to tell me that he had one of my shoes

T:

oh

B:

but the problem was that i had TWO of his shoes

T:

did he get them back to you

T:

oh?!

B:

whereas he had only one of my shoes

T:

now tha tis strange

B:

so immediately we knew something had gone awry

B:

luckily for me, Piper was not exactly a friend but an aquaintance

B:

however, i could not simply dispense with piper

B:

because i needed to know where the other shoe was

B:

i rang him up and he said he was home

B:

so i skateboarded over to his place

B:

after telling him to hang on the line for a second

B:

(brb i have to check on some things in the oven)

T:

http://www.flashplayer.com/animation/madnesscombat.html

B:

thats what i said to him, as well as what i just said to you

B:

anyway

B:

so, are you following?

T:

yup

B:

so i went over there and sawed off his mailbox

B:

i hid the saw in the garden afterwards

B:

i flung the mailbox through his front window

B:

and crawled through

B:

'what the fuck are you doing bill?'

B:

piper said

B:

to his phone

B:

i walked up behind the earpiece and said

B:

'hang on i gotta go check the oven again' in a phone-like-tone

T:

lol

T:

watch the video after the story

T:

hello?

B:

ok

B:

so

B:

i searched pipers loungeroom

B:

his bathroom

B:

his wardrobe

B:

under his parents bed

B:

but i couldnt find the other shoe

B:

i knew where one was

B:

he was wearing it

T:

ah

B:

but that was no good, i needed two

B:

so i went to his kitchen

B:

there was a cleaving knife on the table, i added it to my inventory

T:

HAHAHA

B:

i decided i needed my shoes back

B:

so i crept into pipers room

B:

but..

B:

he wasnt there

B:

where was he?

B:

i heard a sound uptairs

B:

i took this opportunity to talk to some of piper's friends on his MSN and piss them off

T:

lol

B:

when i was done with that, the footsteps were coming down the stairs

B:

hiding behind the door i waited

B:

as the footsteps crept. up. to. thedoor

B:

ipulledoutthecleavingknifeandthrewitintohisface!

T:

lol

B:

then i realised what i had done..

B:

why the fuck did i just do that? i asked myself?

B:

moments later, police sirens screamed over the hills

B:

how?

why?

who?

me?

B:

fuck

B:

what was my fate?

B:

would they get me?

B:

the oreos!

B:

with one swift stroke

B:

i cleaved the packet of oreaos open

 

B:

i had forgotten all about the police!

B:

there was a knock on the door

T:

lol

B:

i looked through the little hole

B:

sure enough, it was bacon

T:

hahahaha

B:

but that was not what i was interested in

B:

something had cought my eye

B:

can you guess what it was?

T:

no?

B:

he had odd shoes..

B:

To open the door and invite the officer in, go to page 37.

To leave the back door, go to page 5.

T:

uh

T:

uh

T:

37!

B:

I opened the door

B:

hullo officer

B:

'Hello, i have had a complaint that there was loud music coming from this adress'

B:

'well actually officer, the music is coming from next door'

B:

*loud music bangs down from the house next door*

B:

'Oh, sorry to waste your time'

B:

but i did not want to lose him

B:

'do you want to come in for some oreos?'

T:

hehehe

B:

'you know what.. i just busted some kids for smokin dope down at the park, I dont think the cheif would mind if i ended my shift early...

B:

no one wants to turn down some oreos!'

T:

lol

B:

well, my luck was turning up

B:

but i noticed that piper's body was lying bloody in his doorway

B:

i quickly rushed the pig into the kitchen

B:

'the bong is under the sink' i had said

B:

i had seen it earlier

B:

while the cop was chopping up, i pushed piper's body into his room and closed the door, with the lock engaged

B:

i needed to get my shoe

B:

but there was time

B:

there was time

B:

before i knew it

B:

there was no time left

B:

we were very stoned and very full from eating piper's family's food

B:

but believe it or not

B:

we had both taken off our shoes while watching zoolander dvd

T:

lol

B:

i kicked them behind teh sofa as he came in and replaced it with another shoe i found around the house

B:

now, youd think hed notice

B:

he was probably wearing them all day

B:

and they were after all, green with silver moon-shapes all over them

T:

soooooooottp://www.flashplayer.com/music/yoshimi.html

T:

oops

T:

wrong person

T:

and i only typed sooooo

T:

howd that other shit get there?

T:

anyway continue

B:

he didnt!

B:

my luck couldnt go better

B:

he was too stoned to notice, and simply put on his shoes

B:

i shook his hand and he gave me the rest of what was in the saddie

B:

looking outside, he had left his car's lights on the whole time

B:

understandably, he ran off

B:

i chucked him a cushion from the couch to get on his goodside and decided i needed to clean up inside

B:

as quickly as i made that decision, i disregarded it

B:

put on my two shoes

B:

and pissed the fuck off

T:

HOORAY

B:

half an hour later, officer barnaby joyce, as his name i found to be at some point

B:

was put through by a call

B:

there had been a call from pipers house

B:

they said there was a murder

B:

cleaver wounds

B:

blood everywhere

B:

but barnaby knew better

B:

'that cheecky little fella' he said to himself

B:

'callin up with such a serious crime..'

B:

'just for another sesh'

T:

lol

B:

barnaby turned off his police radio

T:

hahahahahahaha

B:

he opened a beer

B:

and sat back

B:

on his new cushion

 

So how's that pot treatin ya? =D

 

dude bill is fucking stoned when he posted this, rofl, im laughing my ass off! bill is fucking ripped man!

 

That's the STONIEST thing I've ever read in my life

 

hahahahaha

 

I just copied and pasted the whole thing and am planning on reading it the next time I'm tripping.

 

hahaha nice to see someone as wise as bill stoned to total retardation. deep, mannnnn haha

 

yeah man im with these guys i dont know what i just read bu t it was fucking amazing..

 

dude, that is some really fucked up shit. But I like it.

 

LOL. I was sitting here stoned as hell trying to make sense of it, then I just stopped. Good to know I'm not the only one haha

I'll read it again when I am not this blazed. Fuck that right now haha.

 

cleevr of the killer thoug

 

woh Im baked and I read the whole thing. It was trippin me out.