Well I was with my ex for 16 months since I was 15 till about 5 days ago, our relationship was great to start of with but things happened during it which I didn’t act properly to and its affecting the overall ending. Well after the first 3 months she cheated on me in front of me with one of my best friends but I was stupid and accepted her back, which now I know I shouldn’t of done, well it was all great until she went on holiday a year ago and when she came back she had a sort of dairy thingy of her holiday and in there in said she kissed someone, I didn’t really pay much attention because I asked her and she said it was nothing. She is a really nice girl but she’s very adulty for our age, I think the reason I went out with her in the first place was because I was lost at the time, I had loads of **** happening and lost all my friends so I was on my own and felt like I needed someone (I know that’s wrong now but I didn’t think at the time) well she constricted me, she wanted to spend all her time with me, ring me all the time, wanted to know where I was all this time. But I didn’t want to hurt her and I took it for all this time until recently when she was getting really bad and we were not getting on, I wont get close to her because I planning of dumping her. I thought her and me would be better in the long run as friends and not lovers. When I finished her she was proper upset and I was feeling really guilty because imp in the same school as her and do the same a-levels as her, which is a pain in the arse. Well because I’ve been preparing myself for what was happening I’ve accepted it already, I still hurt because I know I’ve hurt her which I never intended to do but I’ve started to get close to this other girl Ruth, I’ve liked her for a long time well 4-5 months while being with Kay but I never did anything that would mis trust Kay (my ex) well I was on msn with Ruth and I told her straight that I really like her, she came out of a relationship liked mine about 7 months ago and hasn’t been with anyone since but I know I could make her happy because she’s really nice and we get on. Well we went out last night, with a few friends not many of us only about 4-5 of us. But before we went out Kay had rang Ruth (Ruth and her do speak in school but there not like close friends and never ring each other) and started crying her eyes out n stuff and saying she still loves me and stuff. But I don’t understand because in school Kay had been jumping round all day with a big smile flirting with lads and she seemed happy so I don’t know what she would go out her way to ring someone who she never rings. Well I told my 2 best friends that I like Ruth + I told Ruth, but on msn after I spilt with Kay I told one of my friends who happens to be a friends of Kay that I think I like Ruth. Well the girl that I told on msn I thought I trusted her because she is really good at not telling people but guess what she told her best friend who happens to be the biggest loud mouth ever, so I’m guessing Kay had found out and rang Ruth so Ruth wouldn’t go near me and then id go back to Kay. But while walking home last night id found out that while I was with Kay, she was in a lesson with this lad mike, (mike and her basically did everything before sex at a party a week b4 I got with Kay) and Kay fancied the arse of him for ages b4 we went out but since we got together she always stayed adiment that she never liked him...well she was in this lesson and she moved next to mike while her friend wasn’t in and was flirting big time with him telling him how good the stuff they did together with each other was. I was never told this but it doesn’t arse me now because I’m not with her, it just makes me feel not at all guilty but the problem is now I realize that I’m over Kay and she doesn’t deserve me I’m really starting to fall for this Ruth, I’ve liked her for ages , she’s fantastic, funny, a laugh and really caring and she is the opposite to Kay, she has her group of friends and wouldn’t want to spend all her time with me which I like because it shows she is independent which Kay wasn’t and that pissed me off. But I don’t know how to persuade Ruth that Kay is just playing games and that if Ruth does like me she should just go for it. If Ruth said for me to wait until it cooled down I would, I would forever just if I knew she would be mine. But I don’t know how to tell her that Kay is playing mind games with her because I shouldn’t even now that Kay was on the phone its just that ruth's best friend is one of my good friends and she told me but Ruth doesn’t know that I know if you get me. I just need some advice because its rather confusing but this Ruth is flipping fantastic and I’ve wanted her for ages but know I’ve got no chance because of stupid jealous Kay. If its too confusing for you just ignores it any help is fantastic. Owen =)
Just let the whole thing set for a while. It would seem to me that if Ruth is that easily turned against you by Kay then she is not the woman for you. Tell her that she should make up her own mind about what is going on and that you will trust to her good judgment. The more you try to tell her (Ruth) what to think the more risk you run as being seen as someone who wants to run her life.
i get what your saying but the thing is i cant tell ruth that i know that kay had rang her and played the guilt trip becuase im not meant to know, do you think i should just sit back and see what happens?
Yep - the more you join in the he said she said circle - the more chances you have to look bad. You concentrate on being nice to Ruth and showing her your real self. Remember a gentleman never spreads gossip and never complains about anything that he is unable or unwilling to change. The more confident and above the petty shit you act the more attractive women will find you.
ypi dont gotta let ruth know u know about the call, but u can just have a heart to heart talk with rith, let her know u like her, but also be honnest about how kay was super jealouse & insecure
