my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, so fair enough, things can go a bit stale sometimes... but I am NOT happy with the way our sex life is e.g. My dad has gone to America for a month, so of course my boyfriend (Mark) will stay over through the week and just generally more often to keep me company coz its just me and my dad at home. At the same time, I was thinking of changing the type of pill I was taking, but the doctor said i wouldnt be able to have unprotected sex for a month, to make a long story short, i went to a lot of trouble (and money to see doctors etc) to get back my regular pill because mark being over more often and he doesnt liking condoms as much. (the pill is harder to get in australia than some other countries) Its now been 3 weeks, and i think we've had sex about 3 times!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to have sex all 21 times, at least haha well maybe not that much, but man i feel so annoyed because i went to all that trouble and we hardly ever do it and its wierd, because im the girl and yet im the one whos ready for it any time and have to wait for him to feel like it by the way, I do try and bring in new things, and initiate it, like i’ll sit there and play with him and suggest I get some massage oil etc. I told him I wanted to buy a dildo for us, and when we had a day off and went to the shops I said lets go! And he’s like nah on the weekend maybe. Like he’s not even excited or anything!!!!!!! Im pretty sure he wouldn’t cheat, he’s very moralistic and all that, but whats the problem? Has anyone else been in this situation? Lately I’ve been really focusing on my body and trying to get fit and look good, coz maybe he’s just not attracted to me anymore, did this work for anyone? Love Amanda
omg not sure whats wrong with you man.but i could only dream of having a girl like you that liked sex that much and willing to try different things like that i think thats awesome. The problems not you by no means ,Not sure if hes cheatin or not but i would definatly talk with him about it.and really wouldnt put cheating past anyone,As i once had a girlfriend that i just knew wouldnt cheat cause of her great morals...and well what do i know within a year she cheated....but anyway not to put anything in you head just thought id share with that with you....really hope you can work this out ..
Once again-high sex drive knows NO gender. I have been in many relationships where I was the more sexually driven. The whole "but IM the girl and I want it more" is just furthering the stereotype that women aren't supposed to want sex as much as men. Everyone has needs, no need to feel that yours are "weird" simply because you're female. In any event, people can go through swings in their sex drive. Granted, there is a chance that he's seeking it somewhere else, but since it sounds like he's with you most of the time, I doubt it. Has anything been going on in his life lately?? Anxiety and depression can DRASTICALLY reduce your sex drive, especially for men, because some men find it difficult to talk about their problems and therefore their stress becomes manifested in other ways. Don't worry about "not being attractive to him anymore"-this is his problem, not yours. Talk to him, ask him if he's feeling particularly stressed or worried about something. Communication is integral to maintaining a good sexual relationship, not to mention a satisfying, loving relationship overall.
Its not that im trying to sterotype or i think im wierd or anything, its just that it seems as if a lot of women (including my mum) and things i've read have said that girls tend to not feel like it as much and are less inetersted. im not sure if thats the way these women are or if its them falling into society's sterotype Thanks for the replies guys I have asked about it before, he's not the type of guy to open up like that, so im guessing its probably stress etc he's tired alot too I noticed that he also sometimes feels like he's being put on the spot, and although i'm not saying "why aren't you having sex with me dammit?!" it may seem that way, and i dont want that to happen coz then he would probably feel more pressured or stressed Thanks!
Yep, it's society at work. There are no differences in the sexual drives and desires of men and women. Not saying that you're stereotyping, just telling you not to buy into the stereotype. You're not weird at all.
Amanda, Some men have a low sex drive, and never seem to get beyond once a week. Most are more frequent than that. And it is perfectly normal for a girl to like to have regular sex. If you have had sex more frequently in the past, but it has tapered off, it could be a bad sign in your relationship. The best way to sort this out is with communication that is non confrontational. Start with an 'I' word like 'I really love the closeness and intimacy of sex and I wish we could do it more often' and see where that sort of conversation takes you. Your boyfriend my get defensive, or he may open up to you. Mark
