anybody people read and respond

I need an answer really quick, I need to know if this note to my mother gets my point across, she is an alcoholic and it's fucking torture watching her destroy herself. I plan on going to bed right quick(its 3am) but i need to know if this note i will leave her sounds like i am whinning or something, or will make her realize I'm not fucking around

MOM

Your passed out on the toilet while your friend was still here, calling for you. I called him a taxi. You left kahlua outside. You mean well but you are failing yourself. Can I without guilt say I am discusted with you? and even though I'm your daughter can you listen and understand I am not a nagging bitch when I say you have a problem? Please do not converse with me unless you have your own stuff figured out. and unless you honestly start taking responsibility for your disease, I want nothing to do with you.You may think your choices do not affect me but I am no longer having any part in watching my own mother slowly destroy herself. I am SO serious. Do you realise how much it hurts me to see you like this? and even though it will hurt more to desolate you from my life is it less painfull than watching your second life of disorientation. Take this note to heart because if you do not, realise you are losing a daughter and a friend. I love you, but I loathe this other person you become. I am no longer going to try and help someone who doesn't want it. Nor will I stand idly by.





Comment please, just tell me if she'll take it to heart or throw it in the trash like all the others

 

I surpose from your point of view you have had enough of what she's doing, And if YOU think the only way is to write a note to her than fine - it sound's a bit harsh, but that'smy point of view, Does she know she has a problem? It might help her more if you got a number of a rehab, or alcoholic's place - where she can get help etc. Is there anyone else in your family?

 

I had a similar conversation with my father and although it didn't have instant results other than he stopped calling me when he was drunk, he did stop drinking a couple of years later. there's no way to know for sure how she will take it, but at least you will have made the effort. Good Luck!

 

citing the situation i think you did the right thing

 

Good Luck.

 

yes she knows she has a problem and I've tried having talks with her before, but it usually ends up in fist fights. So I give up. This note is my last resort and if it goes un notices I will walk a way from this situation. I will lose all contact with her unless I see she is trying to improve. I know it sounds are, but it's a fucking harsh reality and if nothing will get through to her then I will not allow myself to put up with this bullshit any longer.... just imagine how bad it could be, well its worse. Well it's now 5 to 4 and I've had enough anxiety for the day. I am off to bed. But will be scared to leave my bedroom in the morning... arg I knew moving back home was the worst idea in the world

 

Awwww my dad's a alcoholic so i know where your coming from -it will turn out ok, but it will take alot of blood, sweat and tear's. Good night, try and sleep well xXx

 

Its a sad situation ej... Torture for those who have to live with an Alcoholic i know....but it sounds as if your mom is going through hell too and you both need help. There are support groups for the families of alcoholics and they are the best ones to give you support and advice. If you havent given your mom that note yet...dont.... get advice from the people who truly know how best to handle her first. Your mom will already feel like a failure and have no self worth and her fights with you on this are a defensive reaction.

Please get the help YOU need to deal with this first....and then you'll be in a better position to help her on the slow road to quitting the drink....

I really feel for ya.... and i really hope it works out without you needing to abandon her

 

i woke up this morning to find a note left by her, I am very suprized.

' good morning Stacie I am bothered and disturbed by my actions last night as well. I have NO excuses I screwed up! I am being sincere in saying I truly hope to never be that out of control again.But I thank you for looking after the situation and Robert(her friend) said you werre really a sweet/nice girl and were very polite. for that I', grateful, thank-you. again I know I've pissed you off and I'm sorry. love mom. "

I just hope she's takes action to fight this disease now that she realised she has it, instead of it pulling her back in... which is how it always happens before. Thank you for the advice everyone, but she has to much "pride" (apperantly) to go to meetings and the like. How can we as a family help her?

 

Be firm. Don't let her note back you down at all or you will be enabling her to continue the alcoholic binges. Be sure to let her know that should she embark on the journey away from alcoholism you will be with her every step of the way but also let it be perfectly clear that whether or not she has a relationship with you rests entirely in her hands.

Best of luck... from the product of a dysfunctional alcoholic household.

 

No way it could have been said better

 

Hi E.J. Glad your situation worked out for now. I'm not condoning your Mom but try to remember that drinking is a serious illness. Alcoholics have to want to help themselves. we could talk to them til' we're blue in the face and it would more often than not be a total waste of time. We have a group in Canada called Alanon....it is for siblings of alcoholics. Maybe look into it if its in your area. I feel so sad for you sweetie its a shitty spot to be in. I lived with a Dad who had the same problem. So many of us seem to come from dysfuctional families. Listen please.....in spite of her sickness, do not let her destroy your life , you are much too young. When you talk to her do it gently but be firm in your ideals and beliefs don't let her take that away from you. If the time comes that you do have to leave then absolutely do it. You are a special person and deserve the best life has to offer. YOU GO GIRL !!! Peace and love to you !

 

Thank you so much for the support, I really do appresiate it. I'm moving out today, not to abondon her just to get away for the situation at hand. More stress i do not currently need. I will be keeping in touch with her, I just hope when someone is not constantly watching her actions he does not spirl down the same hole. It seems the only reason she does what she does, no matter what it is.. is because she cares A LOT of what people think of her... I think drinking lets her get away from this attitude. But she does everything for the wrong reasons. I pray to the mother she finds it with in herself to figure out what it is she needs to do to be happy, always.

Once again thank you!

-Stacie