Uninvited Partyguest

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Lozi, Oct 15, 2005.

  1. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

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    Uninvited Partyguest
    Internally sucked like a fishhound

    i wait by the shoulders of impeccable suits,
    with their corporate boulders and
    foun-tain pennnnns....
    Gah such a ghastly stench
    smell it can't you?
    the dreadful scent of hypocracy
    as the drains of lawyers shredded notes
    pick london as a sewage bank.
    But in their golden showers
    and foot baked, soda wars by partial vending machines,
    i groan at the luver liver lava kidney stones
    that give a very slight itch that tries to irritae then goes away
    but that's only a game
    i like to play higher stakes at the local
    hospisssess with gambling humanoids
    who do they try to kid the world with eternal organisms?
    Ignored and shunned i pick my halloween cloak from toys r us
    and leave the building with another cancer victim
    oh there goes another: the family subdue.
    I'm like the uninvited guest who nobody expects to care.

    ------------------------------------------
    http://www.allpoetry.com/poets/lozipot86
    http://www.freewebs.com/lozipot86
     
  2. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

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    just to bump up my thread, i thought i'd tell you the above poem is a personification of death...
     
  3. Or's well

    Or's well Member

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    I really like this poem. I've only recently become interested in poetry so don't feel that I am qualified to comment, but I know what I like.

    You say that it is a personification of death, to me it reads life? Perhaps because I've always considered life to be the understanding of death. Maybe I'm off track. Sorry, thinking out loud.

    Oh, and the last line, wonderful!
     
  4. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

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    :) Great job, yes death or sleepwalking... your images flow like a river

    your words sweep like a paintbrush across the page,
    casting shadows to emphasize light.
     
  5. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

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    thankyouuuu you absolute stars!
     
  6. FreeBird1969

    FreeBird1969 Fleas on their paws.

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    Haha...Great imagery. Loves it. :) Possibly one of my favorite poems (so far) on the Fora.
     
  7. deep_poet86

    deep_poet86 Member

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    I really liked it! Your personification of death is very deep.





     
  8. LordHelmet

    LordHelmet Member

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    tis tasty, chocolate covered, warm steamy, sugar and gooo dripping off, morning treat... thank you
     
  9. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

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    merci, thanks, gratias again:)
     
  10. Major Peacenik

    Major Peacenik Member

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    your flow could be better but your images are powerful.

    edit edit edit...
     
  11. osiris

    osiris Senior Member

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    What is a fishhound?
     
  12. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

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    beats me! not a clue:p
     
  13. osiris

    osiris Senior Member

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    So it beats you? No, wait, you said that's not a clue... dammit, your confusing me!
     
  14. Lozi

    Lozi Senior Member

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    i meant 'i don't know what a fishhound is'
    i made it up
     
  15. osiris

    osiris Senior Member

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    *snickers* - I know what you meant. I was just playing with your words. A playful, literary smack on the ass, you know?
     
  16. SeamusHeaney

    SeamusHeaney Member

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    You are a charmer, dear Osiris
     

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