I need some opinons. Dose it sound crazy to try and have a second baby at four months after the first? I know we both want their ages close together.
my mom waited two years, three months in between my brother and I. It might seem like that's a big difference, but it allowed for several things. By the time my little brother came along when I was three years old (he arrived on my birthday), I was potty-trained, speaking in sentences, fully mobile and somewhat independent of my mother. This allowed her to have more time to devote to Jayson, less expense and trouble with diapering TWO babies, and more experience and time to adjust to how to raise a newborn again. I could even help with basic chores regarding the baby. I helped to fetch things, comfort him, play with him so my mother could do other things, like catch her breath. Plus, while it might seem like those two would have a hard time relating, my brother and I were very close. AND when I started kindergarten, I taught him the things I learned everyday. So he was well ahead of his school mates because of this. He tagged along with his sissy, and I loved having my bubby to look up to me. Trust me, an age difference of 2 1/2 to 3 years is perfect.
Our kids are 2 years apart, give or take (The first two have 20 months between, and the third is 28 months behind the second). Our youngest is not yet born (literally any day now, hehe), so i can only guess (and hope) how that will go, but both kids seemed to be the perfect age, as far as understanding what was going on during the pregnancies, and being interested in the new baby coming. i agree that kids should be somewhat close in age (from general observation, more than 3 or 4 years is a huge gap as far as interests go), and 1 year or less seems to be a bit too close--you know, the first is literally still a baby, and it's a huge thing to ask them to "grow up" even a little bit (give up the breast, get less attention, move to their own bed, etc), and even if you're gentle about it. Good luck, whatever happens. Plenty of parents space their children as closely as possible, and they do great. Others wait until their oldest are teens before having #2, and that generally works out fine too there's no wrong way to do it, and people will criticize no matter what
I am 11 month older then my brother, and my mom once said, that she was glad that it was that way. I was older, but not that much, that i would get too bored playing with him, and that gave her a lot of rest too.
I've got two and am baking the third. We started trying for #2 when #1 was 6 months. LUCKILY, we didn't concieve untill #1 was 12 months old and honestly, that was too close in age. They are seperated by 21 months. The 2nd and 3rd babe will be seperated by 26 months and I think that'll be SO much better If you get PG when your babe is 4 months old (which will be very hard if you're exclusivily breastfeeding BTW), your first babe will be only 13 months old. That's still a baby. And there's a chance he won;t even be able to walk yet. I know it's hard to wait, I was VERY antsy to get started on #2 but I'm SO glad it took while to get PG. So, to sum it up, personally I'd wait untill babe is 12 months to start trying.
a friend of mine had her two exactly 1 year apart (which i do not recommend unless you have lots of help and a re financially stable) and she was breastfeeding exclusively so don't count on that as birth control!
I honestly love how close in age my childern are. They are a year and pretty much 2 weeks apart. Its kind of like what I imagine having twins might be like. My two are best friends, they have a wonderful bond and I'm happy they have each other. I was used to being pregnant the second time around. The end of the pregnancy was hard but he was lying on one of my nerves. The birth was easy, breastfeeding again was very easy and I already woke up all hours of the night to care for Croix so I didn't notice much difference. After about a week of Noah being home they fell into a schedule to needing the same things at the same time(which was good!)... I know alot of moms said they are glad about the years their kids have apart and every once in a while (not too often though!) I wonder if it would have been easier. I think it really depends on the mama, and the kind of support from family and friends that you are getting. This can really make or break the whole thing. I'm very lucky to be surrounded by a loving family. I think only you will know when is the right time. Don't get it mixed up with emotions though... sit and think a lot about it. Try to imagine the change it will bring and maybe try inviting a friend or family member with a baby over and see if they will let you do all the work for a couple hours. It might help!
my two oldest boys (11 & 13) are 23 months apart, it has worked out really good. they have always had a lot of the same interests and keep each other company. admittedly, being pregnant while having one fully mobile toddler was quite a bit of exercise - lol!!! the breast feeding was not an issue at all - my oldest had just given up the booby, so there wasn't any problem there. i love having them so close together in age - and it's a big help now that they are getting to be teenagers. i know i can let them out of my sight (for short periods of time! i'm so overprotective) because they use the buddy system. no matter what, i'd never had any kids at all if i had waited until i could afford them. on the other hand, now i have a 15 month old - and the older boys are a huge help (i never ask them to change diapers though). they love the baby sooo much, my oldest is always saying how glad he is that 'joey came to live with us', and they both say what a wonderful baby he is and how much they love him. so i guess i got it both ways, and there are definite benefits both ways.
My oldest kids were born 11/82, 1/84, 10/85 (then a miscarraige) 1/89 (another miscarraige late 89), 3/92, 6/95, 8/97 It may have been tiring for me for awhile but as they got a little older I was glad the 3 oldest kids are so close in age. Right now they are 22,21, & 20 yrs old(until my daughter turns 23 next month.) The youngest 2 are close also...in age & emotionally.
i dont know about it from the parental end...but as for from the kid end...my sister and i were 18months apart...so just a tad bit more than ur two would be...and it was the best gift ive ever gotten...we are so close it's scary, people mistake us for twins. we were able to bond as sisters and friends because we matured together in the same ways...and always had a playmate. i dont think it's crazy at all...i loved it and continue to love it peace!
Crazy, nah. Well yes, I admit that after I had my oldest son (my first child) I thought I wouldn't want to have another baby for a long, long time, if ever. *lol* But then, when he was going on 3 years old, I got hit by the baby-making fever. So okay, that's not 4 months afterwards, but hey, I ended up getting pregnant with twins, so I had two infants at once that were the same exact age, plus a 3.5 year old. Hard? Oh yes. Worth it? Definitely. If you feel that if you are ready and able, then go for it. Not everyone has the same outlook. I mean hey, I've handled it, and if I must say so myself, I think that I've done a pretty good job so far too.
Totally agree The gap between me and my brother is three years four months. Mum swears she wouldn't have it any other way. We're really close and got along, but could be our own people and enjoy seperate babyhoods. I think personalities are a more important in whether siblings are close, rather than age. There are no sure fire ways, just have to go with instinct and hope for the best.
i'm not close in age to any of my siblings, and i'm not close to any of them, really. well, i'm close to my little sister now, even though she's 10 years younger than me. but she was my first effort in parenting anway. my nearest brother is 3 years older than me. he and my oldest brother were fairly close. but to be honest, i really think the way we were raised has more to do with our lack of closeness than anything else. i was the girl, so i was put "over there." you know? but dave is 6 years older than his little sister, and they're extremely close. i envy their closeness. i wished i had that growing up.
My sister and I are 7 years apart and have absolutely nothing in common. She's married and 24, I'm a 17 year old high school student. We get along really well, but that's about it. All the stuff I want to talk to her about she either preaches because she's SO much older or doesn't remember what it's like.
My brother and I are almost 5 years apart and we don't really have anything to do with each other now. I feel like there was too much of an age gap between us, plus conflicting personalities. I now have almost 13 month old twins, and honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way. It can get extremely frustrating to have them so close in age but if you think you could handle the stress that goes with it, I say go for it. You're the only person that knows how much stress you can handle. I've been told by several people that you shouldn't have your second child until you get your first one out of diapers, to make it easier, but if you have two that close together it's amazing how quickly you can adapt to any situation that comes up. It doesn't take very long at all to find a routine that works best for you and your family.
my sister is 5 years older than me, we've never been very close at all. all my siblings were pretty well spaced apart, and i'm not close with any of them. oh well, i did try - but i'm kinda the 'black sheep' of the family anyways... lol!!! i'm such a trouble maker
