the steps..they..broke down..i broke down..*tear*..

omg! what the hell happened?..the steps they just, they broke down!!..my god..i had a whole effing week, one whole week..i was so proud of myself, and doing so good and now its all gone! argh!!...i got drunk saturday and sunday night..yah thats right a school night..holy fuck im an idiot! like what the hell goes through my mind when i do these things?? yah thats it, probably nothing!..fuck!...like im so pissed with my self, like i should have made it 2 whole weeks! 2! but oh no! i had to stop at 1!!!...its so stupid, i made it to step 1, i was able to admit that i had a problem, well i cant even do that now..i thought about it and realized nothing is wrong..so i shouldnt worry about it..so yah no need to stress over what happened over the weekend..yes thats it..all behind me!..im just peachy keen!...oh well, doesnt matter how i am right now, just wait till friday when i get to north bay, that'll fix everything..i'll drink my face off, and then do it all over again saturday!!..yes thats perfect, cause then i wont be worried about anything..right on..this will just be my way of forgetting everything thats wrong with me and wrong with what happens........

 

you could fall out of bed hit your head on a desk get knocked unconscious and never wake up. live it up.
at least when wasted, you sleep like a log so you won't hafta worry.

 

If you can go a week without it your not addicted, yet. You don't want to become addicted now though, or you will probably be a drunkard for life, atleast until you go into a rehab. program. Many bad things will come from drinking.

You seem dependant on it but your not addicted, so no matter how bad you want a drink don't drink it.

Do something to pre-occupy yourself seriously, masturbate, watch a movie, post on these forums.

 

jen, most alcaholics stumble a few times the key is to just start overm & so allittle better, you were doing so good, are you going to just give up & call it hopeless after just 1 mistake? or are you going to take control of your life & beat the disease?
you sure are an expert at denial arent you? always able to rationalize yourself out of ever believing that you have a problem..
look at what u just didm you finaly admit you have a problem.. you barely make it a week (and didnt u feel great that week?) & then fell right back into your pattern, so you connvince yourself that you could only do a week cause you must not have a problem..does that make any sence at all? of course you can force yourcelf to accept that as rational cause it helps u avoid accepting responsibility..
jen..i know you cajn do this..i know you can quit, but you need to make that commitment instead of committing yourself to surrendering to the disease..
but tell me, durring that weeek, did u hang out with people who supportied u quiting? or did u spend all your time with your drinking buddies?
did u try doing it on your own, or did u try to get help?

 

oh, & remember also.. you were just on step 1.. 1 step isnt much of a fall now is it? ya cant expect it to be easy to quite..& u cant expect just admitting u have a problem will end the problem, ya just gotta see it through

 

hey lil miss, just wanted to say keep up the good work, but remember, you are going to need something to replace the excitement of telling us all about your trials and struggles with alcohol with something even more interesting, like your writing. so get your creativity in gear and start cranking out some stories about drama and redemption. Make them as dramatic and controversial as possible, but put your viewpoints and beliefs in there, so you can start to define what you are hear to teach us all. You don't have to get trashed to be effective. Remember, you are really a talented writer. i am serious. keep writing!

 

the comment that was there ignore it to anyone that read it..i made a mistake on some stuff..blah!

 

YOur profiles says your 14, how are you able to get ahold of alcohol

 

That's what I was wondering too.

P.S. Your siggy is hilarious Cornflakes!

 

well you see getting alcohol is not hard at all..i have many friends, and many connections..all of which are either old enough to buy it themselves or look it and dont get carded..trust me its not hard at all..

 

yah sure..maybe i will..do you seem to have a problem with that because if you do then just quit reading it..because its not like your life revolves around reading my threads, considering you dont even know me..

 

Dude, you're 14. Go put in your Taking Back Sunday album, fire up your Kitch'n Koral, and quit whining about your oh-so-shitty life. Jesus...


mark.

 

don't be so hard on yourself, find some stability...

 

you could always find friends who you don't need to drink to be around.......



(note this post is all in the subtext, it does not directly address the problem, but it gestures vaguly to it because frankly if I directly addressed it I would be ignored for my excessive harshness)