My name is Erin. My classmate Jessica who is Feminist Hippie here told me that a lot of people in this forum give good advice. My husband Gabriele and I dont have a lot of money right now. Gabe is a security guard and I’m finishing my associates degree. Were not exactly poor we just dont have a ton of money. So were saving up now for Christmas presents for our kids Aldo and Isabella. Aldo’s 4 and he loves trains. Gabe wants to get him a train set but the one he was looking at costs $200, and with all the added stuff you get to make the train set look nice, thats $225. Thats a lot of money to spend on a toy for a little boy. Gabe came from a rich family so hes used to having extravagant Christmases but the problem is that last year we spent way more than we could afford to on Christmas. I dont want to do that again. So I tell Gabe that if we get Aldo something that expensive, thats all we can get him. Gabe said no I want to buy a lot of things and if we save up now we can afford it. I dont really think we can. That’s what he said last year. Also we have Isabella our two year old to think of. We try to spend about the same on both of them. But if we spend $225 on both of them we already spend $450. That’s a lot of money. Plus we want to buy presents for my parents and inlaws. Christmas is expensive. So I tell him that maybe we should suggest his parents get the train set and we buy the kids a bunch of small presents. His parents can afford it, and would probably love to get him that kind of thing. Theyre always asking for suggestions. Gabe said no. I guess I wasnt so surprised. Gabe doesnt like accepting money from his parents. I understand but I still think he’s being unreasonable. His parents offered him a job in their business. They design and rent out houses. Theyre doing really good at it. But Gabe said no, he didnt want the job. He wanted to do something else. I was okay with that. I was extremely unhappy the decision, but I understood. He wont accept any money from them. It pisses me off, and Im sure it pisses them off, but I try to be understanding. But now I’m getting really annoyed with him. And Im kind of scared. I dont want this to be last Christmas all over again. I know he wants it to be perfect this year, but I think hes being unreasonable.
Oh yeah- I found something Gabe might be interested in. http://www.toystadium.com/content-product_info/products_id-1584/figure_8_wooden_train_set_by_maxim.html It's a kid's wooden train set. It's a lot cheaper than the real thing. Besides, real train sets are hobbies, not toys. They're the kind of thing my dad is into. They break easily. These don't. Is $29 too much? They have a cheaper set there, too. I think there's one for $18. It's certainly better than $225.
Men want to provide. You'll have to explain to him that a lack of presents is NOT a reflection on his ability to provide or his love for his kid - that one good present beats out a bunch of rubbish, and he'd be better served by not overextending yourselves.
4 years is seriously too young for a real model train. My brother got his first model train (just a lil circle of tracks and a short version of the ICE model train) when he was 10. Which still is kinda young.
That is a good point. I'd also add the fact that him being rich growing up is not helping. Don't parents want to give as much or more than what they had growing up? I wouldn't be surprised that a person would be upset when they can't give their kids even half what they had growing up. I can see why he might be hurting. But Gabe also needs to realize that he is a good daddy, regardless of how big the presents are, and the kids have a lot to be thankful for.
He seriously needs to try and understand that 1. he doesn't have the funds to buy extravagant presents 2. That accepting money from his family doesn't make him weak. 3. 4 year old will probably play more with the box the present came in, than the toy itself. I realise guys like to provide, but at some point, logic needs to take hold.
maybe the parents need to get GABE the train, and Aldo can play with it as he gets older... just a thought. dm mom to "Arlo"
hahahahaaa!!!! ain't dat da truth!!! there is no way i would buy a $200 anything for a 4 year old, they are just gonna trash it anyways. i'd rather buy something sturdy that would withstand extreme play, and not so expensive that i'd be upset when i had to put it out in the trash cuz it got broken. if your husband thinks your 4 year old will be 'careful' - that just means it's gonna be a toy with a lot of rules attached to it, and not as fun as the box it came in. how about a nice big pile of sand? you can make a great sand box out of an old waterbed frame, big enough for all the kids in the neighborhood to get in and play together. i made a huge sandbox for my older boys using logs & a tarp on the ground, we'd sometimes have 10 kids in there at once. and me! it was great fun
