a few short poems...criticism welcome

these are a few things pulled from my notebook,i refuse to follow the format of poetry so they are kinda off beat some of the lines....criticism is welcome

THE LAMENT OF ICARUS

I remember when we used to fly together
But then you tore off my wings feather by feather
You watched me plummet with eyes so cold
As the dark ocean pulled me into its deepest hole
We used to soar above the gray clouds
Hand in hand embracing as sunlight surrounds

But then something happenedÉ..
I pushed you too farÉ

And I used to feel like Icarus
Flying so high above the dust
But I flew too close to the sun
I let my pride get in the way
I didnÕt stop you when you ran away
Now look what we have become
Two lovers lost in a storm


THE SPECTER OF AFFECTION

Every morning I greet a specter
Of a love thatÕs long since passed away
Tactile echoes of your touch on my skin
Leave me drowning in dismay
The fall out of love is so much further
Seems like it will last till I am dead
Feels like I will have to get brain surgery
To get your voice out of my head

Im haunted by your face
By your ever fading embrace
Go awayÉ..your just a ghost to me

Still cant believe you flew away from me
I see your face still to this day
I was stupid to fall for an angel
When your wings were destined to take you away


COSMIC ANGEL

You pulled the moon into the sea
You pulled me in with your gravity
Everything about you is everything around me

Dreaming of your face
Floating around my innerspace
When I close my eyes your love surrounds me

You are my cosmic angel
You are my existence state
You are my island of love in this ocean world of hate
You take me to a higher place
You lift me to the skies
And I find I cant even think when im drowning in your eyes

You are my god,You are my scene
You are the essence of my being
The deepness of your love anchors and grounds me

Seeing a new place
Constructed from your lovely grace
The wonders of your love always astound me


THE VICIOUS CYCLE

These circular emotions twist me like a marionette
I feel like im drowning in an ocean not wet
I think ive made a breakthrough,but when I open my eyes
Im right back where I started,what a surprise

But you cant twist me anymore

I see this cycle now
It ends where it begins
Ive waited my whole life
To try and make amends
Im screaming from the floor
Come back to me again
Fuck that,im severing the cord
And going where our love went

 

I LOVE Cosmic Angel. I can't pick a favourite line, they are all good. Can I pinch one to put on a card the next time that I buy her flowers? )

 

o yea man go ahead ,glad to be of any help to the lovers in this world

 

Thanks )