here is the story, short and sweet. I told my parents that i didnt want to come to NY with them on saturday. I planned a fishing trip on saturday with my friends. My parents listen to what i say and then deny they heard it. I was talking to my dad on the phone about it, and he told me i HAVE to go. I already accepted the demand, but told him that this isn't going to happen again now i need to present my thoughts and feelings on two conflicts. 1. My parents listening to me and acknowledging what i say 2. Regaining the privlilge of sleeping over i've read some stuff about presenting your side of conflicts to your parents but it didn't seem to helpful you guys and girls on hip forums are like my understanding, real family. please help.
How old are your parents? How healthy are they? Consider cherising the time you can spend with them right now, instead of letting regret rip away at you later in life. My guess is, if your posting on this forum on a PC right now, they are pretty loving and accepting and relatively chillin' folks. Be grateful for that love man...
hmmm ok a bit advice from estonia. So.. all the parents want the same - protect you from sumthing they know and have suffered as well. Like they all have been young, but the problem is that they keep on forgeting what happend in their past, couse they feel like resposible for you. So this is the reason why they try to stop you doing things on yer own. But you just have to say them how you feel and how much fustrating and depressing it is as they still are trying to talk to you like with a child.. .. anyway .. As i fisrt started to chill around more and had my very first beers, my mom and dad were kinda trying to tell me about the moral stuff and so on. I kinda ignored their needs and willings.. and still did what i wanted to do and what i had to do .. it took a while, but finally they accept it.. and they let me do whatever i do, tho im 21, comparing to yer age, i guess im oldie but the thingy is that you must think with yer head and logically and compare yourself with yer parents.. and ask from them, what they try to protect you from and why they are trying to stop you doing the things you want to do and start living yer own life. Of course, as yer teenager, I suggest you to be gentle with yer parents, couse (and i mean it) you will change yer mind about things as yer older.. and you will definitely change the understandings about things you have done in the past.. so i wanna prove you right now that no matter what, you will understand yer parents later on.. as yer living on yer own and having yer own family.. Good luck and rleaaax
im not sure i understand number 2... as for the other just be out front with them about how you feel. if you tell them 'hey i'd really appreciate it if you'd listen to me and acknowledge what i say b/c apparently you don't like before in instance (a) and then there was that other time (b)...etc...' theyll respect you for being up front and if nothing changes youve lost nothing by trying right? peace and love
Give it some time - to let everyone calm down like a week or so Then write up what you think would be a good contract between you and them Spell out who does what - when - and who has what rights and responsibilities - do not forget to include the part about putting a roof over your head etc. Ask them to read it and make you a counteroffer. Repeat the above until you all come up with an agreement that everybody likes Hold up your end of the agreement and expect the same from them Keep the whole thing very low key and business like. Do it all in writing and at the end everybody signs.
maby the fam isnt understanding where your comming from ....my dad may as well have been from another planet ....he was old when i was born and lacked any understanding of the problems i was confronting as a kid ....but thats because parrents are just people desperatly trying to hold things together as best they can . i bet nobody that does understand you would do as much for you as they will . be nice to your mom n dad . it sucks when they die n theres nobody to take their place
hippiepaul, excellent advice, that's more or less what i did when my kids were growing up. we used to have family meetings once a week too. hippiewise
