Wow, my parents really disapprove...

So today, I grabbed my sandels and took them along as my family and the relatives that are here decided to go out to the outlet mall near our town. I just carried my sandels along, to remove the urge for any store owners to tell me off with health code restrictions or store policy; in which I'd ignore the first and slip the sandels on for the second.

Anyway, so we decide to go over to the Dairy Queen and have some ice cream; I go in without shoes, of course. So I tell my mom what I want, and she says that she won't get me it if I don't wear my shoes... Well, hell if I'm going to let her bribe me, I tell her to forget it then and then go sit down. Then my dad tells me to just put my sandels on, because I set them down next to me. I tell him no, because there's no reason to as it hasn't been requested by any of the employees or the manager. He doesn't look happy, but doesn't mention it again.

Then my mom comes over and asks me if I'm sure I don't want a snack in order to remain barefoot, and I express how I don't like her attempting to bribe me and then she walks away and orders the stuff for everyone else. She doesn't get me anything, and then my dad trys to make me jealous or something of the fact that he has a hot fudge sunday... I could have gotten my own if I really wanted to.

SUMMARY: my parents need to lighten up.

 

I find that schools have the same type of approach. They are not really upset about you going barefoot. They just feel that you are usurping their authority.

 

Dude, Ocean Byrd, I'm really sorry you have to suffer with your parents being like that. That is a really immature, irrational, juvenile approach to you that they are using. It seems that YOU are more mature than THEY are!

I don't have any advice for you, unfortunately. My first impulse is to want to insult your parents, and I don't want to do that. One would think that a parent whose kid shows evidence of the ability to think for himself would be HAPPY. Instead, it seems like they are trying to inculcate you with the tendency to conform -- as you said, even when no one "official" has even asked you to conform!

Your parents seem to be hypersensitive to how they are going to be perceived because of YOUR appearance. That's very immature of them. They should, instead, be willing to stand in YOUR corner, if and when someone outside of your family were to challenge your right to be barefoot when you are not hurting anyone or anything else.

I guess there is nothing for you to do but be passive-aggressive about this. I'm pleased that you did not cave in to your mom's attempt at coercion -- that was pitiful of her. I wonder if she or you can last longer: you going without the "treats," or her maybe beginning to feel sorry for persecuting you about such a nonsensical thing as this. How long can she play the meanie who denies you denies you denies you, and still feel at all good about herself?

Ugh! This whole situation stinks. I hope you parents get real wise real soon, for your sake.

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

The funny thing is, she always talks about how she's proud of how she raised me to be a free-thinker... yet both her and my dad threatened to kick me out of the house because I smoked pot occasionally; WTF? I mean, they (especially my dad) were huge fucking potheads; I think my dad is afraid of me experiencing what he did (not exactly the easy route to a good life). I can remember when I got ticketed, my dad was outraged, mostly about what the neighbors would think when they say a resource officer pull up in the morning; I KNOW that they think I'm a danger to their reputation.

The funny thing is, she gave her mom hell when she was my age. She doesn't want the same, and I know that, which is why I try to be passive-agressive about it. I treat her with as much respect as I can handel; short of obeying her every command on what I should do socially/with MY image. I warned her that I could very well disregard all the respect I've paid her, I'll give her time to decide whether or not she can let me be me.

 

What is "Pipe Mania"? Is that another pot reference?

If not, disregard this.

But if so, maybe you should try to realize that pot is not like the coolest thing in the world, worth getting tattoos of, writing about, talking about constantly, choosing usernames based on, etc.

I find it laughable when kids these days look at pot as some sort of "lifestyle." It's no different from commercials that try to make you believe "Coke" or "Pepsi" or "Red Bull" or "Coors" or "Budweiser" are lifestyles. They're just products, like your shampoo or your can of soup. They shouldn't define you, and neither should POT, even if you really enjoy the effects of smoking it.
My folks used to smoke an awful lot of it, in my presence and everything. My brother smoked, my sisters smoked. I was the only one in the family that never did (and I actually never have). I was the holdout, because I just didn't want to alter my thinking with drugs. I also liked being the sole one "strong enough" to resist that temptation, and standing out by contrast with the rest of the family. My parents, brother and sisters all were and are respectable people, intelligent, articulate, honest.

But I did watch as pot turned my friends from high school into shiftless, boring drones who, when we got together over college breaks to hang out, didn't want to do anything more exciting than drive around in a car listening to overloud, bad music, looking for a parking lot or deserted street to park in and smoke a few joints. It was fuckin' pathetic.

My parents never forbade us to smoke -- and in fact I once was given approval to do it if I felt like it. They said something like, "There's no problem if you do stuff in moderation." So I didn't have to deal with them being hypocrites, if nothing else. Yours are acting like hypocrites, but maybe there's more to it. Maybe their own experiences have taught them that they'd have been better off if they never did take that detour down the pot road in the first place. Maybe they're honestly trying to use their experience to keep you from wasting time making mistakes you need not make.

As far as "thinking for yourself," though, smoking pot is not a mark of distinction of having "been your own person." It's not striking a blow for being unique and special. It's actually more of a capitulation. It's not nearly the same as dressing out of the norm, or going barefoot when others would expect you to wear shoes. It's not holding opinions that are not the same as the opinions of those around you. Let's face it: people smoke pot to get high, not to make a statement of "who they are." If smoking pot didn't get you high, you'd still do it anyway? I doubt it.

Look, if you're a good kid, doing okay in school, applying yourself and your talents in positive directions, and you want to go barefoot, your parents should consider themselves lucky to have a trouble-free kid and get off your case. Everyone's got a little weirdness to 'em, and if yours is going barefoot, if it hurts nobody else, screw it, they should not give it a second thought. You should tell them what I've said here. Be calm and rational when you talk about this stuff with them.

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

yeah ... what jeffrey said about the pot thing. been there done that and spent tons of money, as best as I can figure about $25,000 in 8 years and NOTHING to show for it

back to the matter at hand. It does sound like your parents more are worried about their "perceived social embaressment" having a son walk around barefoot. I would stick to my guns and do what I like.

 

Oh, no, Pipe Mania is an online drug board that I happen to frequent very often. I don't consider pot to be an extension of me, I do however use it to enhance activities that I enjoy; but my parents think I'm doing it to be rebellious or summat. Sorry to disregard the rest of what you said so hastely, I'll read the rest now...

 

well, my mom acted the same way. she didnt like that i smoke pot, so she gave me a choice...my family, or my friends. seeing how my family has <i>never</i> supported me in most anything b/c of who i am, i chose my friends. needless to say, i was kicked out of my house. i was hoping she would be content with me persuing college, completing an internship with the illinois state government's department of natural resources and graduating 6 months early and living on my own for those months while working for the gov't, before moving home for the summer. still, parents seem to think that smoking pot is the worst thing in the world. my mom smoked a lot up until she was about 30. now shes freaking out b/c ive turned out just like her old self. i just hope i have enough self confidence and pride to not turn out the way she did. i cant stand how parents, mine and yours, try to change our minds about things by bribing us with "treats" in your case and a "home" in my case. they seem quite immature about a lot of things. i could rant and rave about all of the stupid things parents do, but ill leave that to everyone else, seeing how my time on the net tonight must be limited.

****be as polite as possible with your parents, even though they dont seem to have two cents. its always proper to be respectful, even when you and your decisions are not being respected.****

 

My mom is like that. She calls me a redneck and stuff for not wearing shoes... She tries to make me feel stupid. But we shall overcome.

 

Well, at least you'll always find acceptance with other barefoot people like us!

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

YAY for acceptance!

 

Let's have an acceptance party!


I don't see why she thinks calling me a redneck would offend me. We live in Tennessee. What else could I possibly strive to be? I don't want to be in the minority!!!

 

i think that would be tons of fun

 

We can have a "Prettiest Toes" contest!

 

what do you think the prize should be?

 

Umm... a foot massage?

 

I hereby offer my attentive and soothing services.

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

Going barefoot is so nice!