Just a song I wrote, could be peotry I guess...

The tallest man in the world
He fell one day
I watched him go down
I screamed and prayed
I tried to help
But I was pushed away
He was just too tall
He carried too much of himself

The richest man on Earth
He was robbed one day
They took everything of worth
But it was funny
He died trying
And as I watched
His body was picked clean
And no one even knew his name

The coolest guy in the world
He was beaten one day
I watched it all happen
He became ugly and shamed
His friends moved on
And the next one in line
Moved up the chain
And was surrounded by temporary friends


The strongest man on Earth
Was not always
I watched him go
His lessons learned
His soul was strong
And he wasn’t a fake


He wasn’t strong in a physical way
He wasn’t happy all the time
He wasn’t the smartest
But he was patient
He was always listening
One of the few things
I heard him say


He admitted mistakes
He lived his life
And never fell
Never had much to be robbed of
And kept false friends away

The strongest man on Earth
He died yesterday
I watched it all
He was betrayed by his body
His heart was worn
And his muscles were weak

I thought to myself
After the procession made way
The dirt was above him
And the cold in his fingers
Was there to stay


What did he accomplish?
The strongest man in the world
Just went away
Like the weak have died
He is gone

The strongest man on Earth wasn’t here today
I cried a tear
A lesson learned from memories
Is always here to stay

Opinions wanted. What you guys think?

**Edit- I changed a couple lines around after writing the guitar and drums for this song, now it flows with the rhythm I have better**

 

Thats pretty good, I like it myself... I enjoyed it

 

Thanks, really apreciate it. I wrote it about my friend's uncle. He was the most down to Earth, patient, and understanding person I have ever met. He had a way of sorting things out that was very fair and equivocal. It ws amazing how he could be so serene his whole life. He had a very shitty life, but he accepted and was happy with what he did for himself. He was seriously messed around with by his wife, in a way my ex did me. These words are very meaningful to me.

 

Beautiful work ...would u mind if i pmed u some of the songs ive written so you could tell me what you thought? ...id lovesome real critisism from you...

 

Hells yeah! I am gonna post more, but I don't think anyone wants to read about my depression and heartache over women in garbled shorthand. I will pm some of mine over to you too when I get em typed up out of my notebooks. I love reading others' work, especially of those close to my own age, I can usually relate and it is good to hear what I feel is mutual with other souls in the world. I enjoyed the piece you posted recently, I posted in the thread it is under.

 

same.
what does your shirt says.

 

oh hey just a question...why would we be responding to yer awesome work if we didnt wanna see it??? more i command you!!!! more!!!(hehehe )

 

LOL, you got it...

 

thank you :-D