After reading some of the stuff confessed here,it don't really seem like I have much to complain about..But, it's equally bad I feel;because it is my troubles.. Well ok my confession is:I am too damned shy. And it makes me feel bad sometimes, because one of my brothers is like the life of the party..And whenever I try to say a doggone word,ain't nobody hear me or listen to what I have to say. They ignore me..Then when I do speak,someone else is runnin' over my the little speach I did make. So,I keep my mouth shut. And even then,it's as if I am a little ghost..I just sit there,nobody even so much looks at me.. I have stuff to say,and I need people to hear me,but they just don't. Some other cases,I just can't make myself say a thing,cause I'm shy and I fear the outcome..Like, I'll turn different colors of embarassment.. This sucks..It's a down-right drag being this way.It also rots because if I see a fine lookin' thing somewhere,that catches my eye,I'm like--a rock.Just speachless,and shy.. Anyone else like this? How can I shut off the shy switch?Some help or something would be kindly needed.. Thanks ya'll.
well im in simular predicament, but a light bulb has recently gone off in my head when it comes to such situations. I just said "fuck it". Whats worse that could happen. a girls says no, makes you look an ass, maby you look like idiot in front of your friends. well "fuck it" your freinds dont want you around, dont pay any attention to you. well fuck it, go find new friends. i want you go outside right now and yell "fuck it" as loud as you can, over and over again untill your neibors tell you shut the fuck up. and then you go tell them to fuck off. Your heart will be racing, and youll have rush of your life dooing it. and if you look like an ass while you do it, well fuck it. --- edited hmmmm, i just realized your girl and not a guy. but Im sure you get get the general idea.
I feel like a loser though.. I mean, guys do find me attractive..I found this guy staring me down once,but I was waiting for him to say hi.So I screwed it up ,and now he's gone..He was hot too. Now tell me,if a girl is standing by jewelery and one guy who was with another guy,like his brother walks over by her and looks in the glass case..Isn't that just his lame exuse to check her out?Like get a good look at the girl standing by the case? Unfortunately,I was with my mother..And what guy would wanna talk to a girl if she is with 'mommy.' Are you saying,just go some place one day..Like to the mall alone..And say Hi to a guy..Even if I am alone without friends? Just ''fuck it'', screw everything ,and who gives a ''fucking flying shit'' ''screw the asshole bastard'' if he has a girlfriend, ''fuck him'' if he laughs at me, ''fuck the fucking people walking by'', ''fuck this shit'' if I turn red, the worst he could say is no I am not interested,and the best is you are lookin' good. too. ''fuck the whole fucking fucked situation''.Is that your whole repertoire?
You need two things 1. Self confidence Self confidence is a great thing, because it doesn't have to exist for you to have it. Whenever you unsure about how something will turn out, or your not confident in yourself, fake confidence (or actually, thats what confidence really is, this is just a mind game) until you have real confidence. 2. Speak loud and proud, but don't be annoying. If you can't get yourself to talk loud, practice. Try growling (in private). Can you growl? Can you get a big growl?
unfortunately yes, thats what its boiled down to for me. Ive been in the gutter to many times to give a shit any more.
I'm one of the shyest people in the world. Everything you said rings a significant bell. I know exactly what you mean (in most cases ... I don't really have a problem with people talking over me or not hearing me). You know that moment when you're just about ready to say whatever you're going to say to your friends, or walk over and say hello to the boy, and something in your head clicks and stops you from doing it? You know that tightening feeling you get just before that click happens that kind of suffocates you into submission? Just fight through it. Just make yourself do it and suffer the embarassment. Soon you'll find out that other people don't find it as bad as you find it yourself. You'll never know just how you look through other peoples eyes, right? They'll never know you're as embarassed as you are. How do you just do it? Someone mentioned self confidence. But confidence in yourself can only come once you know and accept who you actually are. I don't mean that in the 'go on a soul searching journey on a motorcycle' sense of self knowledge, but in the 'my brain just fires that way' sense. There are some things in life that you can't control it, that you can know. Once you know it, you'll accept it. Once you accept it, you'll be better equiped to do things your brain doesn't feel comfortable doing. The jitters never go away, so get used to doing the jitterbug! one more thing ... don't go to the mall solo and talk to a cute boy. No one does that. and one more ... maybe that cute boy was checking out your mother!
there is no secret to it, you just gotta smile at someone and say hi. Being shy is something that everyone has some of, and we all have to try to overcome it as best we can. sometimes its even nice too!
OK shortened life story here. All my life I was the one who sat alone or simply didn't have many friends. I was always a loner. I was home schooled for most of my school age life. When I was in school (up to 4th grade) I hung out with the girls (I was the only guy who would play chase and such with them.) But eventualy I ended up I ended up in the navy where eventualy my attitude about myself changed. One day I ended up in a tallent show on the ship that I was on. I played a song and after that people kept coming up to me and saying how good my song was........( talk about a confidence booster.) But when I got back to the states something had changed in me. I had gained confidence and had had a couple complements on my looks while I was overseas. When I got back I had more attention from people in general then I had ever gotten. I could walk through a mall and spot girls looking at me as I walked through. It was great. And now I'm with my first real girlfreind. I can aproach people without being scared...... But anyway what I'm trying to get to is that what you truly think about yourself has a lot to do with what other people think of you. Push yourself to aproach people and be in front of people and you'll find that there's usualy no reason to be shy. And eventualy your self image will change, you will find that it gets easier and then that you're no longer scared. and you can take this to whatever point you feel like. You can become excepted or you can even go until you are considered "cool" or "Hot" whatever you want to be if you can picture yourself as that you will become that. Self confidence and self image. thats all that you need.
I think cousinit is exactly right...negative feelings about ourselves, all of our worries and troubles, only serve to hold us back. Fear exists to be conquered. I was given the exact same piece of advice by a friend when I was going through a bad time a while back, and found it really empowering. He used the exact same line: FUCK IT. If you don't succeed in one small thing like trying to flirt with somebody, then fuck it. It's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't, after all. No point in worrying about things like that. Worring and having regrets will solve nothing, and no good will come of them.
P.S. I'm a shy guy myself but I always try to take those two words of wisdom with me. I don't always follow them, but I know I should. In other words, do as I say and not as I do.
I used to be like that to, but now I've got my ego up and I'm talkin' the talk, nome sayin'? You godda get yer ego up so that you think, if these people don't like me than they're just whack, nome sayin'?
