yea crap title so what you will get over it im bored. its a saturday night and im drinking by myself. so why is this in the "stoned again" section you ask? well im gonna smoke some roaches soon so chill the fuck out. we all know its best to drink then get stoned, rather than get stoned and think "fuck it im not drinking that it tastes like shit".... am i right? fuck it, im right. i dont really have many friends, well actually thats a lie i have a shitload of friends, but only 1 close friend. the others are sweet and shit but we arent so close as to call each other and shit u know wat i mean? i did have 2 close mates, but one ripped me off 150 dollars, which is only like 120 usa dollars but you know, fucking bastard, if he was a real friend he wouldnt do that shit. supposed to be my mate, one of these days im gonna smash his windscreen theres 400 dollars for him to pay, asswipe. sorry for my rantings im really fucked in the head sometimes. finished my last exams for university a few weeks ago, got a job which fell through. so now im sitting on my ass (have been for a week) trying to get a job. im actually thinking of applying at mcdonalds, can you believe it? im thinking of applying at the fucking epitome of capitalist exploitive society just in order to make a few bucks. is this wrong? i found out the other day in a whole lifetime we spend about 80% of our lifes in activities we do not enjoy, such as work. fuck that shit. sometimes i just wish i was dead. it would save me the trouble of going through the dramas of life, i know its selfish, i have a better lifestyle thats 80% of the world, but what happens in the end?? death. we cant escape no matter how hard we try, all we can do is hold it off, and the longer we hold it off the more weak and fucked up we get. dont worry im not suicidal, but sometimes i think about it and wonder who will miss me. ssorry if iv wasted your time with this long ranting but iv had alot of whiskey, (the equivalant of 13 standard drinks it says on the bottle). i have low self esteem and maybe i will feel better after i smoke these roaches in my trusty pipe. i hope so. blaze it up all of you, it helps you to escape from this mindless shit we call "the real world". and this is the BEST advice i could ever give you right now... ALWAYS KNOW WHICH FRIENDS YOU CAN TRUST, SOME OF THEM ARE JUST DIRRTY FUCKING ASSHOLES, NO MATTER HOW NICE THEY SEEM, AND SOME OF THEM WILL TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE THEY SEEM LIKE. take it or leave it, thats what i have to say. reply, if you feel my pain.
yey man I hear ya. Had a pretty shit couple of days myself, also did somehting very stupid and drunk some brandy, big mistake, I shouldnt drink, I get very fucking anti social and it doesnt agree with me at all, I currently hate the world and every fucker in it. I get some weed on Monday so hopefully that will help me get over this episode, but right now I feel as low as you can get. whats the fucking point in it all? Friends? what the fuck are they? everyone screws you over eventually. I cant trust anyone, not even myself. Hope you manage to find some peace.
I have come to the conclusion (especially after watching the news and Animal Cops) that people really do suck. It seems like everybody has some ulterior motive and generally only care about themselves. It really saddens me to think of my children growing up and going out into today's world. I have very few friends and I choose it to be this way. The people who I have in my life are ones that I would consider a real true "homey" They would do anything for ya and NEVER screw someone over. If someone fucks me over, that's it, no second chances, because if they've done it once, they'll do it again. On the other hand, if I hadn't taken the chance to get to know these people I would have been robbed of the priviledge of having these wonderful people in my life and a beautiful friendship. I guess the best advise I can give is always go with your gut, usually it's right on, never front to people, and NEVER, EVER loan money that you expect to be repaid. Now go smoke a bowl and know that there truly are some good people out there. Peace out...NG
naughtygirllw - hi, havent seen you post for a while hows things with you? I admire and envy the way you have still allowed yourself to open up and give peole a chance, trust is a major issue with me. How do you do it? Everytime I start getting close to people I stop thinking about what they bring into my life, friendship, happiness, fun, understandind etc and start thinking about how I have let them get close enough to potentially hurt me and I walk away. How do you get over that hurdle? Am on such a downer at the moment, havent been like this for a long time, it fucking sucks.
I understand how you feel... I have battled with depression for many, many years. It took me a long time to even feel like I could deal with any relationship. It's very hard to be able to let your guard down and open yourself up to someone that can potentially hurt you. If someone betrays me or screws me over, that's it, no second chances, because the trust has been broken. I believe that women have the gift of their sixth sense and it's usually right on. If you have bad vibes, or uncertainty about a person, listen to it. It doesn't mean that you have to automatically cut them out, but you can change the direction of your friendship. People think that they can get away with anything, and if they take advantage of you once, they will try again and again. LOL, now I'm being the downer! On the lighter side of this issue, there are some truly wonderful people out there and if we don't open ourselves up to potential hurt, we can never know the great pleasure of a real, true friendship. The friends I have are people who I feel I can be my real self with and they love me through the good, the bad, and the ugly. I feel blessed to have them in my life. I will be keeping you in my thoughts, I hope this dark time passes quickly for you. NG
Thanks for your message, its kinda hard to see the positives in anything when you get down huh? I feel much better today though, I had to force myself to try and focus to get through the days recently, but I feel that the cloud hanging over me at the moment isnt as dark as it was. I finally get some weed tonight, so I am really looking forward to just finishing off my chores, getting the kids to bed and relaxing. I think I just need a bloody good nights sleep. I kinda get so tired that I cant switch off and sleep. weird I know! Anyway, thanks, for listening
