Ok, i need to let off some steam about my parents. This is the only forum that has any relevance to it. Parents: take note... My mum is the most annoying mum in the world when it come to money. She wants me to get a job because she thinks i am lazy and wants me to get prepared for the real world. So i try to get a job but theres none availible. My mum thinks i use that as an excuse to not get a job when theres seriously none about. SO what does she do? She goes and cuts off my damn pocket money (which was a lousy £20 a month anyway). She won't give me any money AT ALL. And is now wanting me to pay for my own shampoo and stuff. AND, for the last 2 years she has skimped on my birthday presents whilst my sisters gets hi-fis and x-boxes! I get guitar lessons and an outfit last year and this year i went to a concert. I know I sound really ungrateful and shit but its not fair when you got a sister getting everything she wants. My dad on the otherhand doesn't really care and i try and get money outta him whne i can but he is quite controlled by my mum which sux. OK... that feels better now...
Yeah, I know hwo you feel. My mom is a complete bitch sometimes, like, I actually san't stand to talk to her, and I've been looking for a job lately, but to no avail. Thing is, instead of her not giving me money, she doens't HAVE money to give, so instead, she lets me work for some of her clients (She does landscaping and gardening and stuff.) So now, I try not to take any money from her, and try to pay for my own stuff. I dunno, I get what you mean though, having a parent do something for seemingly no apparent reason. Have you talked to her about it? Like actually talked to her? Maybe theres a reason....
I was just talking to a girlfriend of mine about this yesterday. We both said dang...now we understand why our parents were so tight on us about money...as now we understand the cost of things. I tell you...now I hold down a household with a written budget . I keep track of it daily. I can't imagine having a teenager on the budget too.!!. Maybe your mom should show you what its like by showing you her expenses and showing you how to keep a check book. But she's right about getting a job and even though it sux keep trying and trying and as soon as you land a job the cash will flow in. Save it. I think I had my first job when I was 16. I put in like 30 applications before I landed that crappy job. But money is money. there is even ebay...there are actualy lots of ways to make a little money if you reallly want it.
I put in something like 60 applications when I was 16, after a while I was filling out applications just to kill time... and the ONE that I filled out with a different name (because I was soooo sure they wouldn't hire me anyway) hired me on the spot, lol. I ended up not staying because they wanted to see ID to go with the name and I didn't feel like coming up with something fake or admitting that I'd lied..agh.
Get over it. You cant expect your parents to give you money all the time. You're old enough to start paying for yourself. If you had a job you wouldn't want to give your parents money all the time. You got a concert ticket for your birthday and thats not enough.Come on... You should be thankful for what they do give you and quit bitching.
Thing about job hunting is that you have to just that. You have to send out Applications and then check up on them at least once a week. If not your just handing out peices of paper and expecting something for pretty much nothing. Get a job at McDonalds or some place like that they are ALWAYS hiring. And you do have to get over it. I am a mother I am 22 I KNOW what its like to be a teenager but guess what. It was either ME making my money or I wasnt getting any at all. at a certain age you have to start taking care of yourself,with the hel pof your parents. So eventually you wean yourself from their care and move out and be your own person. Frankly If I knew my son or daughter would EVER say anything remotly what you have reffered to your parents as. You would have been totally cut off from everything. No its not fair that your sister "gets more" but maybe she earned it. if your mother is calling you lazy then there has to be something as to why your sister is getting and you are not??? Being a kid is hard. But being a parent is even harder. Give them some slack. They have ALOT to deal with. Raising you, their jobs, the hosue, mortgages, food,bills, You name it they have to worry about it. Last thing they want is some kid becoming greedy and petty. Sorry that I might come off as rude but Parents have it hard weither their kids want to acknoweldge that or not. I did a few years to late myself and I Hope my kids will learn from my mistakes......
My mum has an attitude problem that drives me up the wall. My dad isn't so bad but can be at times. And my sister does way less than me, but for some reason, my parents don't see that.
Ummm...I would say you're the one with the attitude problem. I know you're not going to want to hear this but here goes: Your mother is older than you, wiser than you, seen more than you, and knows you better than any one else on the planet including yourself. She was once your age, and I'm sure she had her share of looking for jobs as well. She KNOWS when you aren't looking and when you are. She KNOWS when you are serious about something and when you aren't. She can read through your bullshit even though you might swear up and down that it's true. She loves you enough to know all this and more. She loves you enough to teach you to stand on your own two feet and take some responsibility for yourself. She's also confident enough in you to think that you can do it if you would only TRY. You just think your sister does less than you do. There are things that go on in your house that I'm sure YOU don't see, either because you are not there to see them or you choose not to see. Concert tickets are NOT cheap, neither are guitar lessons or clothes. Your parents chose to give you those things for your birthday as they probably thought those where things YOU would like and be interested in. I'll bet those lessons cost more than the X-box your sister got. BTW...where did you get the guitar from? I'm sure you have one if you are taking lessons. Those aren't cheap either. I have 4 kids. My oldest son is your age, and he's been working for over a year, and takes pride in his work. So much so that he's already had one promotion and is up for another. He also goes to school. He pays for all his clothes, movies, and whatever else he wants. The only thing I give him money for now is lunches for school sometimes, and bus money once in awhile. A job is out there for you if you really want it, so I have to side with your Mom and tell you to get up off your lazy ass, get a job and quit moping about the house!
I know I should. But I just want my mum to get off my back about it. She's even been pressuring me to get a job through the exams which just added to the stress. I just also feel she doesn't appreciate the things I like doing and stuff. Like she doesn't want to. If she tried actually trying to have a friendship with me, maybe I would respond a lil better and stuff. And yes, i'm around the house often enough to know my sister does less than me.
LOL...I'm sorry but I really have to laugh. I've had this conversation with all my kids. Especially my daughter who is the oldest and is now 18. She also accused me of not talking to her, when in fact every time I tried to have a conversation with her, she would shut me out. Then come back and tell me a few days later that I don't listen to her. LOL! Perhaps it's you that doesn't want to share and not your Mom. Kids think that parents want or need to know every little thing, when in fact all we want to know is if you are ok, if you need anything or even just talk about whatever is on your mind. You don't have to share all your thoughts, but maybe if you would just open up a bit she will too. I'm still finding out things about my own Mom that I never knew, I also realize that was my fault. Sometimes we think that other people wouldn't be interested in the same things we are, but then if you mention it you could be surprised. You're getting older and I'm sure that you want to be going out with your friends to movies or shopping. These things add up quite fast and if you had a job and your own money you wouldn't have to ask anybody for it. You could make the decision on whether or not you did this or that. Your Mom just wants you to be responsible, and learn to be a bit independant, after all that's what teens too....fight to be independant and make their own decisions. You and your Mom are really fighting for the same thing.
There are other ways to make money besides getting a formal "job." Baby sitting, lawn mantainance, cleaning, dog walking, asking your mom what you can do around the house, and keeping track of it on paper. My kids have a written contract of what is expected of them for allowance. If they don't do it, they only get enough for school lunch. (I do buy generic shampoo, for the whole family, if that isn't good enough for them, then they have to earn the money to buy the silly expensive stuff.) I had my first non baby sitting paying job at 13 (I wrote a column in the local paper, there was no "opening" I just wrote up a few columns, walked boldly into the editor's office and asked for a job. I got one.) I did baby sitting since I was 10 or so. I worked at local fairs and festivals. I grew produce for a local health food store. I am now 42 and still self employed. I haven't had a lot of "regular" jobs, but it hasn't stopped me. I make my own ways to make money. Where there is a will there is a way. You say you do a lot around the house. KEEP TRACK. Maybe then your mom will aknowlege what you do. If you do insist on getting a job where you work for someone else, you have to be keeping in touch with them, and asking them "Did you hire anyone yet? Has anyone looked at my application? I am really ready to work, and I work hard." It is pretty hard for employers to turn that down. Don't just lamely fill out an application, walk out the door and wait for someone to call you. There are few decent jobs to be had that way!!!! You have to make yourself stand out as someone they would WANT to hire. Dress the part for even filling out the application. Weird makeup, bizzare clothes, a lot of piercings in, ect, will NOT get you a middle of the road entry level job. (Hey, it may be "cool" but it is not what most employers are looking for.) Unless you are applying at a tatoo parlour or a record company, leave the werid stuff at home. My oldest got a waitressing job the day of her 16th birthday. SHe is 18 and still doing it. A lot of her freinds claim they can't get jobs, but they apply for jobs they have no ability for (they think the minimum wage jobs are somehow below them) they show up looking like shit for interviews, they NEVER call back to see how the search is coming, (all this from my employed dd) and then they whine that there are no jobs. You have to be proactive. Places look for kids in the summer. You won't make tons of money, but there are jobs out there.
not always my sister is 21 and she still asks for money from my mom and pa, for these expensises, to keep in mine she has a job. I don't thinks it fair that your mom should preasure you into finding work durring exam time, afterall that is the time when you should be shifting 100% priorty towards school, not work. It whould have been nicer if she did it durring somertime after exams, How many people are in your family??? My sisters ex-boyfreind ended up getting forced to get a job because his mom and dad decided to stop supporting him when he was 12. So maybe the same thing is going on, but i don't know i have no right to criticise. Going back to my sister she has a job, but because she's a student its hard to do, there's no way she can keep a job and study at the same time, it can be done but good luck doing a decent job of either. If she's thinking at if you had a job you whould be able to support your self 100% and being a student at the same time she's wrong. There are a lot of job's out there but they are all minnum wage job's and people don't rally like doing it, i know its horrible at first but if you show how hard of a worker you are and how much energy you have at your job, you will get promoted fast. Thats what ended up happening to me, promotion is here you just got to show a little effort. I first started off working the cash at a resturant then they gave me a worker review and i was ratted a level 2 employee, level 1 being best-5 being worst employee. They then gave me a raise and asked me if i wanted to work a diffrent department.
I would just like to say that sometimes work isnt the best things for some kids. It gives you that much more stress and takes away from schoolwork sometimes. I htink you should only do it if you have found you can handle it.
Having a job wont kill you. I got my first 'real' job at 15 and I was able to do schoolwork and all that at the same time. A part time job is no big deal-those 20 hours you spend at work would otherwise be spent at a friends house or in front of the TV. When I was 17 I had graduated high school, rented my first apartment and was supporting my mom and my younger brother-BY MY SELF. I had no car or license when I was doing this because AI couldn't afford it, and mommie and daddy sure werent gonna buy me one. When I see kids whining about how they dont have the latest video game or their allowance is not enough to buy those $100 sneakers I laugh. Your life could be a hell of a lot harder-is there always food in the fridge? Do you have clothes to wear? A roof over your head? Running water? Did it ever occur to you that some people consider these things to be luxuries? Go out and get a job-they have been supporting you for the last 16 years.
Ahhhh, to have money. As fer me, me n my bro are gettin paid 35 bucks each to pick up trash, tomorrow.
This might come across as something other than what it is so keep in mind its with good intentions, Maybe you THINK your mother has an attitude problem. Your 16, Hell I thought everyone had an Attitude problem....Maybe its because your so different from them??? Obviously your sister and you are not alike there fore she might be "praised" for it. And By all means DONT CHANGE but try and understand. I could be way off base since I do not know you nor your parents, Knowing a few ass holes I know that parents can be.
sorry for the following rant, but this topic kinda hit me at home and i just needed to get this off my chest.. ugh, my mom... as well.. does not get off my case about getting a job. i'm not sure what age this thing says i am, or if it even posts my age, but i'm 17.. I had my first job when i was 15, kept it for a year, had to quit because i RUINED my back / hip there; spent a LOT of time in chiro after that. also, it was insanely ridiculous work for insanely low pay, and i was just so unhappy there. anyway, since i quit, my mom has been "hounding" me, i guess you could say, to find more work. work where i live is scarce. it's nearly impossible to find, even at mcdonalds, burger king, etc. they just are not hiring.. we have no work here. the thing is, it isn't that i'm not trying to find it, and i really WISH i had work -- i've been doing odd jobs like babysitting, flyer delivery, lawn mowing, etc., but it just does not please my mom. I just finished grade 11 with what is called "Honours with Distinction" (4.0 gpa, average 93%) -- she knows i place tons of importance on my academics, which is also partly why i didn't work for the end of the school year, i wanted to concentrate solely on exams -- I volunteer about twice a week at an extended care center here (for seniors and disabled people), i do a radio show here at the college every tuesday night (also volunteer, but a lot of work goes into it), i take piano lessons and yoga classes weekly, maintain a healthy social life.. it's HARD for me to find a job not only because how rare they are but also because i have other obligations! and they are obligations she doesn't want me to give up! I don't know how to please her... it seems she isn't happy with what i'm doing, but i'm trying to find work and i feel she doesn't appreciate my effort and the fact that i am very busy. bah! sorry, i know i will most likely get similar replies, i just really needed to let off steam. haha.. my two cents.
WOW I think the point got lost here somewhere. There are jobs out there if you really want them, and if you really look. McDonalds and Burger King are ALWAYS hiring. My son works at the McDonalds near us and so does almost every kid his age on this block. Sometimes you get hired right away and sometimes you have to go back several times. This holds true with any place. Maggie gave some good alternatives. Check those out. Hippy Muncher: There are always exceptions to every rule. However the older you get the more you realize you didn't know as much as you thought you did when you were younger.
