Up late,cant sleep. Im thinking of her , thinking thoughts of her...I have replayed these thoughts so many times in my head that the repetition of them have made the thoughts memories...And though i know that we have never, and may never make a single real memory together...still i have these, my thoughts like waking dreams, my thoughts with a vividness and realness that only memories can possess..these thoughts , my thoughts, conceived of in my imagination...and i am positive that an ordinary imagination would do her no justice..so it is with extraordinary intensity that i imagine her existentially..i imagine her with my mind, my body,,everything inside me, everything that surrounds me..i imagine here with all my senses,,i create senses that dont exsist to imagine her with.....i close my eyes and block out sound..as she fills me from the inside out without ever a touch..i cannot contain this image of her, this spirit of her that tightens my chest...i exhale her but with a quick breath i breathe her back in.. a current flows through me, i am trembling, my body shaking i experience a euphoric orgasm occuring in my soul....my heart beat stops then starts again with an irregular beat..i feel like i am dying...i want to cry , i want to sream...i want to live inside of me where she is...i want to exsist in these thoughts, live in these dreams..i am sad because i want to be inside of her as much as she is in me..i want with gentleness to ease myself inside of her.. i want to feel her, but only so she feels me..feels all of me..till all of my emotions, every emotion and its opposite, coarses throught her veins..till her body experiences mine, till her body trembles as mine does..now...i realize the reality of the real...that what i feel for her will go unexplored..my hands, my arms will only ache for her, but will forever remain empty of her...and the taste of her only a taunting desire, a thirst that will remain infinant...and to have her completely will remain as it is now...a repetition of thoughts that become memories that exsist only inside of me..that i will replay in my mind and that will forever stimulate my body and soul...but i can be happy because whats inside of me is mine..this manifestation of her that lives so deeply in me it cant be taken away by life...so you see, i will never have to let her go....
passionate brilliance, as unrestrained inner-flows surge, expressed with thorny nimbleness snagged on paradoxical complimentarily momentarily... to release as torrential merging with alchemical precision. androgynous self-intercourse is vulnerable only when the mind sinks into the heart.
my mind is forever sinking into my heart,... or maybe it is my heart floating up into my mind...im quite unsure
