Woman-on-top sex advice?

My partner and I regularly have missionary sex and sex in doggy style(we are on quite a diagonal). She finds missionary sex most relaxing and pleasurable; she likes doggy too and before she cums she gets the urge to pee (which as far as I know is a G-spot related orgasm).

We always start in missionary style and then switch to doggy, if we so desire, because it is painful for her to start in doggy and I also feel tight, so I can relate. She is 3" taller than I and slightly chubby and she's inexperienced and shy.

Sometimes I want to relax and let her lead by performing in 'woman-on-top' position, but she's not willing. We almost tried this position once and she jumped-off quickly soon after we started; she was already sitting on me and I've got a hard-on and was perfectly ready to continue but she chose not to.

One thing I realized was she felt slightly bulky because of her weight and although I asked her to move her body and was helping her by holding her waistline, she stopped. I guess it was also more painful to her this time because as soon as we switched to missionary sex she became totally comfortable and willing.

I was wondering if this position was more difficult/painful for girls and how I can help her in this position? (I believe we have had adequate foreplay to minimize pain.)

Thanks!

 

My wife is heavier than I am. When we first started having sex, she did not like to get on top. As we became closer, she admitted that she though she was too big to sit on someone and that it must be uncomfortable for me. After a fair amount of reassurance, she tried again and now she likes it quite well. Do not know if that is what is going on with you guys but that’s our story.

 

Sounds like shes insecure. During my pregnancy with my son I gained a big 108lbs, and when you mix that amount of weight onto a 5`2 little chick well...you get what im saying. My ex wanted me to ride him all the time and i was extremely insecure about my body and I wouldn't do it. Finally I just started doing it and I really enjoyed it because thats how I got the best orgasms. Something about it boosted my self esteem and i ended up loosing all the weight i gained. Tell her to try riding you with her back to you. I think it makes the penis curve in and hit the g spot everytime. Maybe that'll get her used to having g post orgasms THOSE are the most awesome orgasns. Maybe you guys can try it in the floor? Sometimes its easier for a chick to ride in the floor. Reassure her about how beautiful she is and ask her to please just try to be ontop. If she says no, just explain to her that it would totally turn you on because you think she is the most beautiful person ever. She may not be comfortable with it still. You know she can still ride you in doggy style? good luck

<3 Alicia

 

First of all, in my opinion, sex shouldn't be "relaxing" so ditch the missionary position. As far as being on top goes, I sometimes find it hard to get a good rhythm going. What I like to do: Have my boy lay on the edge of the bed. Then, I climb aboard with one leg tucked to the side of him and one leg standing on the ground beside the bed. That way, I have enough control to bounce and at the same time, I don't have to put all my weight on him if I don't want to.

Go out and buy yourselves a Kama Sutra and try some new positions. Even if you don't get into regular girl-on-top sex, you could at least incorporate some new positions into your repetiore.

 

Good point. Thanks! I will for sure.

That sounds a bit advanced, so we'll save it for a later time

 

I love love love that position. Thanks for the mental image btw. haha

 

woman on top can be pretty intimidating teh first few times around, especially if you're wider than your partner. It's awkward, it's a new movement, it takes some learning and some getting used to. I also ended up pulling a muscle pretty badly the first time I tried it, so I didn't try it again for a damn long time. Still not my favourite position, doesn't do much for me, but if my partner wants it I'll try and do it to please him (provided he's a good enough partner to try and please me when need be). I prefer most other positions because I prefer to be dominated, I'd rather the submissive partner in bed which is a little hard to do while on top (unless some bondage is involved... mmm)

 

She could be shy..

Or she could be scared..

You'll have to ask her..

Otherwise you'll never really know. It took me about a year getting comforatble with being on top.. i used to do the same exact thing.. and then i tried it and loved it. But no woman is the same.. so you never know.. it may hurt her.
Just ask her ... And if she doesn't seem willing.. one day she might.. Another good position to try.. would be putting her legs on your shoulders.. Just in case you wanna try something new..

Becky
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I do agree that she could be insecure about being on top...everything is out in the open

 

Yesterday we again tried that position but it was short. We first tried it the way Atom bomb therapy suggested--her back facing me--but that was uncomfortable for her, as she was resting her palms on the bed she got tired after couple minutes. I tried to raise my legs and rest on my feet so that she can lean forward against my legs to hold on my knees but because her legs are long and she's large in her thighs, we couldn't manage that. Then we tried regular woman-on-top sex but she wasn't comfortable with that.

What are those positions?

Yeah, when she was facing me I could tell she wasn't comfortable, her moves and all and you're right she found it a little painful too.

Do you mean missionary style?

Yes, reassurance is very important, I understand that. I think it'll take some time for us to practice to perfect it; I don't want to pressure her into performing something she is not totally comfortable with.

What other positions do you guys use?

Thanks!

 

Last time I was in a relationship I tried this position (and fell had over heels in love with it) where the guy lays behind the girl and hes going from behind. She can kind of turn her body and move her hips and she can ride you that way. That way its like shes doing the work, but she isn't ontop. Just raise her leg up with your arm and go at it.
That sucks it didn't work out. I bet if you guys try it a few more times she'll get into it.


You say that when she was ontop of you you could tell she wasn't comfortable. If she has a big butt like mine haha, you can ride without having to bounce that much. Tell her to move her hips back and forth-although i find bouncing better. Good luck with this. I bet she'll come around. Sorry if any of my advice is rude or anything.


By the way, how long have you two been together?

 

Other positions, well, anything where the guy is doing the movement. Like I said, I prefer being the submissive one most of the time... not necessarily all but man, doggy just drives me wild, that's my favourite position.


And that one someone else had mentioned, legs over the head thing, is quite uncomfortable when you ahve a tummy (or at least, that's what I've found)... it squishes the tummy and makes it hard to breath properly. In my experience, that is.



Honestly, I'd just take this journey slowly. Try it every now and then, don't put a lot of pressure on her, don't make it the be all end all of the sexual adventure, just one position amongst a few others to start with.

 

I think I know what you're talking about. This is a position called spooning, right, when we both lie on one side of our body and behind each other. Sure! We have tried that position quite a few times and we both like that position very much, but still I am the one who does most of the work anyway and I don't usually raise her leg up but stick my upper leg between her thighs. Although one minor problem in this position is that we can't start off in this position too because it's slightly painful for her as her thighs are not quite apart; so we start with missionary sex and then switch to "spooning" after she is wet enough; in this sense, yes, it does make sense what you've suggested--to raise her leg up so we'll definitely try that next time. Thanks!

In this position did you guys kept your bodies close to each other or was he at quite an angle toward you leaving some distance btw his chest and your back?

Hey, I took a look at your gallery photos and your butt didn't look big to me at all; your are a girl, right, you gotta have some butt Well my partner has a full round butt, about your size, and full thighs, but most importantly she is tall, taller than I, her legs are long, and we just can't seem to manage that position so far. The last time we tried this position, she wasn't bouncing actually (I wish she did) but moving her hips back and forth, like you said but working really slowly... I guess we have yet to do our homework in this department, we'll take our time to practice it, slowly.

Can you say approximately how long it takes a girl after starting having sex for the first time to stop feeling pain during thrusting because she's naturally tight at the beginning (say during "spooning" and other positions if she's not sufficiently spread)?

We've been together for over a year now, but we started having sex six weeks ago and we've done it a couple dozen times now almost daily (we would frenchkiss each other a lot and I would rub her groin area from the outside of her clothes till she would cum, so were comfortable with each other before having sex).

My partner loves doggy too. I usually put a pillow underneath her hips so we are on quite a diagonal and when she cums she likes it that way a lot. She squeezes my legs with hers and quivers and moans some, so sweet. I think those might be G-spot related orgasms, but I am not sure. But here too, we do need to start with missionary sex first and then switch to doggy if we want to.

Do you guys use a pillow in this position as well? Also, do you find it easier to have an orgasm in this position?

She has a lil tummy, just that, but she wasn't comfy with that position either when we tried it, yeah.

Sure, I understand that. We don't take it for granted; rather, we take it like a new job were we have to do our work before we can succeed

 

Wow. You are a really nice guy. Shes lucky to be with you. I haven't really ever seen a guy so concerned about how to please his girl. You have a certain innocence about you and thats so awesome.

To answer your questions:


"Can you say approximately how long it takes a girl after starting having sex for the first time to stop feeling pain during thrusting because she's naturally tight at the beginning (say during "spooning" and other positions if she's not sufficiently spread)?"

Sex usually hurts me (although its a good pain) every time. When you stick something in your vagina and it goes in a certain amount, its going to be tense..yanno? If you are her first, or second or even third partner it may hurt because shes really tight. Go get some of that k-y warming lube stuff and rub it on her before you guys have sex. Maybe that way if you don't want to start in the you-on-top position you don't have too. Maybe you could try fingering her before you guys have sex? That might get her more ready.

"In this position did you guys kept your bodies close to each other or was he at quite an angle toward you leaving some distance btw his chest and your back?"


I like both ways, angle or right next to me. The angle is nice because you can see your partner's expressions and thats a huge turn on for me, but being right next to someone is nice too because well....it just is.heh


"Hey, I took a look at your gallery photos and your butt didn't look big to me at all; your are a girl, right, you gotta have some butt"

Haha, i have a ghetto butt, thanks for the compliment!


"
Do you guys use a pillow in this position as well? Also, do you find it easier to have an orgasm in this position?"


The only time i use pillows is if i'm masturbating. One under my head and neck and one under my thighs. For some reason I have a better orgasm. If it feels better for her to use a pillow during this position I tottally would. Good luck!

<3 Alicia

 

Heh. I used to have this problem but it wore off pretty quick. It's actually the only position that I cum in so I do it almost every time now. I used to be very hesitant. Ask her what bothers her more about the position, her weight or the idea of pain. If it is her weight, try having her wear a t-shirt until she gets a bit more comfortable around you about her weight. If she feels covered she might relax and enjoy it.

 

Thanks!!! She's so sweet I can't help, really.

Yep, we are both first for each other, we were both virgins and just six weeks ago lost our virginity with each other. Yes, she is tight; everytime I am about to stick my member in her EVEN in missionary styly it hurts me a little (although from my perspective it indeed is a good pain like you said) but apparently it hurts her even more, perhaps way more in some positions like her being on top..

Also, during doggy sex she cannot take me in full or to be more accurate she can, but she asks me to stop when we lean against each other and she asks me not to squeeze her butt with my body weight and go in an extra half inch (I've read on the net it could be that the guy is pressing against the girl's cervix??

I don't know if that's the case in my case though. Also, we do engage in some, I believe, adequate foreplay (mostly frenchkissing, which she loves, though at the end just before sex I would finger her a lil just to get her more ready like you said(although I believe she is ready even withought that lol)so I think it mostly has to do with her not being yet adequately relaxed physically I mean because she's had sex only a handful of times right. I've heard a woman gets relaxed largely after she gives birth to two or more babies and not until then or not enough till then? Do you think she can feel this level of pain until we have at least two babies or its gonna wear off? What was your experience? (I understand every girl is different but still...just curious.)

I see...no hardcore science, lol. The reason I asked this, I couldn't quite get feedback directly from her yet on this and I couldn't figure out myself what was better, lmao

LOL) You welcome!

Gosh, I no longer need to masturbate, I'm so relieved So, anyway when you use a pillow while masturbating do you mean you finger yourself and that's why you need to be elevated or is it because it is the "right angle," to cum more easily?

Thanks again!

You only cum in that position!, wow, apparently there is something special in that position, could be...No I don't think it's weight. I think its a combo of being hesitant to ride a guy, to be in charge or sth and hurting, but I think hurting is less important; she has yet to learn these new skilss, I think.

 

"Yep, we are both first for each other, we were both virgins and just six weeks ago lost our virginity with each other. Yes, she is tight; everytime I am about to stick my member in her EVEN in missionary styly it hurts me a little (although from my perspective it indeed is a good pain like you said) but apparently it hurts her even more, perhaps way more in some positions like her being on top.."



Well that explains it. Thats why shes having trouble riding you. You guys are new. Thats awesome. Its been a while, too long, (pout) since i've had sex, but now that I think about it everytime I'm in a position where the penis goes in more (doggy, riding, sideways) It hurts. I think it'll hurt forever for me because i'm such a small person but its that good hurt, yanno? It probably really is uncomfortable or painful for her, but if she was to go really slow, and do you at her own pace then maybe her vagina would relax and invite you? Heres how to tell what the problem is. If she will get naked infront of you without covering herself up then it probably is painful. Celebrate her body, her vagina will get used to you in the time coming.


"Gosh, I no longer need to masturbate, I'm so relieved So, anyway when you use a pillow while masturbating do you mean you finger yourself and that's why you need to be elevated or is it because it is the "right angle," to cum more easily?"


Can I recormend something? Never stop masturbating. Sometimes people need that alone time. Its good for you. Sometimes its all about you. She should do the same. This way you guys won't end up getting tired of sex. (Well...hopefully. ) Okay, keep me updated because I feel like the love line over here. Hahaha

PS: Wait until you guys try anal, you'll really be posting then..lol. im kidding.

<3 Alicia

 

Another nice possition would be woman on her belly, legs together with a pillow under the hips for a little uptilt. I've been told it's a very tight fit so it's really enjoyable for the guy and most don't go as far in but are more apt to rub the g-spot so if feels good for us too.

 

I see. Actually, last night we started off in doggy, at the beginning it started hurting Erica some as usual so I didn't go deep in her and so she was relieved; after a few thrusts I stuck my full hard-on in her, grabbed her waist tight with my arms and proposed to roll-over fixed in that position for "spooning" sex; so we managed that, but guess what, after a few thrusts it started hurting her a lot more. I tried to raise her leg up but she wouldn't cooperate, she was in pain. So we went back to doggy and after a few minutes she cummed in that position. THEN we switched to spooning again and it worked fine this time, we went really slow and after about half an hour she cummed again and then I did shortly, lol. I asked her, on a scale of 1 to 10 how would you evaluate your orgasm and she said 9.5 Also, yesterday I paid attention to the fact that when I stay deep in her but thrusts are shorter she enjoys it better at some points as opposed to nearly full pulling out/inserting, which she sometimes finds painful.

Do you think it is possible for the guy to hit the girl's cervix in some positions--another source of pain?

I am sorry, I didn't get this. Can you elaborate, plzzz? (do you mean when she's in pain she's fully concentrated on her pain and can't help but totally expose herself, no akwardness toward me, because pain is her paramount concern?)

Wow, you know what, I read just the opposite I think on the marriagebed site. It said married couples are discouraged from masturbation because it can diminish their willingness to have sex and if you masturbate, you gotta tell your partner about this because if he/she doesn't know and he/she wants sex but you don't becuase you had another outlet for relaxation then he/she might think they are no longer desired as much by their partner.

I somehow feared that masturbation could somehow diminish our desire for sex, and I also feel awkward to masturbate now that I can have sex with Erica, lol..Although sometimes I do get the urge to masturbate...old habit, ehh. But it's interesting that you say that it may prevent getting tired of sex...When she had a period last time, we didn't have sex for 5 days and I "saved" myself for her, and I was horny as hell, lol.

I dont think she'd like even the mentioning of it,lol. Considering how tight her vagina is, I imagine anal would be insurmountable. Mind you, we haven't even had oral because she tends to think of sex as strictly intercourse and I never brought the issue up so far.

We do practice sex in that position and, yes, it IS very enjoyable for both of us. Just before she has an orgasm she gets a strong urge to pee (she always tells me this when she does, lol) and I've read those are G-spot related orgasms...Although, I've never stuck my finger deep enough in her to locate and feel her G-spot; I somehow have this fear that I might hurt her. Otherwise, yes, that position is very pleasurable for BOTH partners, at least that's what we found.

 

"Do you think it is possible for the guy to hit the girl's cervix in some positions--another source of pain?"

Hey hun. I wouldn't think so, but if you have some crazy monster cock, then maybe? haha. It probably is possible actually. I have no idea about that one. Sorry

"I am sorry, I didn't get this. Can you elaborate, plzzz? (do you mean when she's in pain she's fully concentrated on her pain and can't help but totally expose herself, no akwardness toward me, because pain is her paramount concern?)"

Yeah, I'm sorry that wasn't explained very well. What I mean is if she walks around naked infront of you and she doesn't cover herself up then chances are she is in pain during sex because shes comfortable with her weight infront of you. Do you get what I'm saying? If she really is in pain and shes not hiding her body from you then she isn't insecure, shes just...well, in pain.


"Wow, you know what, I read just the opposite I think on the marriagebed site. It said married couples are discouraged from masturbation because it can diminish their willingness to have sex and if you masturbate, you gotta tell your partner about this because if he/she doesn't know and he/she wants sex but you don't becuase you had..."


Yeah, a lot of women and men feel they need to compete with the naked chick or dude on the screen. People feel insecure or jealous about porn because a lot of those people are very attractive, plus they are really really comfortable with their bodies. It could be unhealthy for a marriege or relationship with masturbation involved, but personally if im in a relationship i want the other person to masturbate. I can give myself an orgasm like nobodies' business, better than anyone else can give me. If someone else can do this too i don't want to be selfish and hold that back. Plus I have this thing for the human body (not that im weird, and it isn't even really a sexual thing....well okay, 50% of it is..heheh) and i admire it so much. Thats just me though. You know, my last partner and I would look at porn together, and masturbate together and that did wonders for our relationship.

" dont think she'd like even the mentioning of it,lol. Considering how tight her vagina is, I imagine anal would be insurmountable. Mind you, we haven't even had oral because she tends to think of sex as strictly intercourse and I never brought the issue up so far."


Anal hurts the first 1000 times, but after you guys get this riding thing down you should most def try it.. I've had orgasms from it several times---and they are really good. heh.

"We do practice sex in that position and, yes, it IS very enjoyable for both of us. Just before she has an orgasm she gets a strong urge to pee (she always tells me this when she does, lol) and I've read those are G-spot related orgasms...Although, I've never stuck my finger deep enough in her to locate and feel her G-spot; I somehow have this fear that I might hurt her. Otherwise, yes, that position is very pleasurable for BOTH partners, at least that's what we found."


You should try to finger her and find it. Its only like 2 inches down in the vagina. If you try to rub it a few times her body will open up to it and she'll effin -love- it. Hope this helps!

Positive Vibes-
Alicia