what do you do about a friend who does incredibly stupid things???

wer're not talking a little stupid. we're talking "I'm going to go to my friends house who's going to hook me up with a 20 somthing guy (who happens to have a daughter) and we're going to make out! *giggle*" I mean she's done some stupid things with the neighborhood freshmen, but now that her parents are finally letting her go to a public highschool (where she is failing the mojority of her classes) she going absolutly crazy. There's this, and then she's got a friend who does drugs, whom she smokes weed with. She has several boyfriends and girlfriends and honestly has no judgement whatsoever, and yes, she's only 16. i've told my mom about the guy, but its hard for her to get a hold of my friend's mom to tell her anything. i really worried about her but she won't listen to a thing I say.

What should I do now?

 

ahh...this probably isn't the type of answer you're looking for, but I'd suggest that you just let her ruin her life, the way she wants to. Let her make her bed and lie in it. That always makes for quite the learning experience.
The thing is, you have to make sure her parents/teachers don't interfere and try to save her from her own fate. She's got to learn the consequences of her actions.

 

sounds to me like your friend has very low self esteem about herself. something might have happened to her,like childhood abuse or molestation, to make her feel like all she has to offer anyone is her body. i would just encourage her to love herself and to be careful, maybe join a support group. just don't put yourself in any danger by going places with her when you don't feel safe. it sounds like she is living her life in a crisis state, an puts herself in dangerous situations. living on the edge so to speak. i only talk from experience when i was younger and then working as a counselor with abuse victims.
angel hippiewise

 

She has to open her eyes to the world around her. she wont see it as a problem until she wants to. its the same with an alcoholic or someone adicted to drugs, they wont get help or get better until they want to or until they realize they have a problem. She doesnt want to stop, so she wont. I would say talk to her and let her no what shes doing is stupid and u are worried about her. If she says your just jealous, be like you can think that, but im just trying to be a friend and help you before you get hurt even more. If she doesnt listen to u or starts to get mad at you, then dont worry anymore, she obviously doesnt want u as a friend. Friends respects friends's opinions. It doesnt seem like she cares much about herself. But she will learn the hard way. Just try to open her eyes a little. If you have to, get a teacher involved then her mom WILL be contacted. But i would only get a teacher involved if it gets severe. I hope I helped a little haha
Peace~

 

Tie her up and force-feed her cinnamon roles while screaming "Don't be that way!"?
*No, don't do that, its a bad idea. I was being sarcastic*

I suspect something to do with the way her parents treat her that has caused all this, or possibly some other adult in her life (its not always the parents). You can't do anything about her past, nobody can. You need to tell her something to make her see the light... shes a slut, and if she doesn't stop shes going to end up a pregnant highschool dropout probably with no father to help with the baby and drugs/alchohol/cigs...

I don't know what to say to a person who behaves the way your friend does to make them see the light... no experience in that department...

 

I would suspect this has something to do with her parents. Either they were too strict, so now that she has gotten a chance to get out from under their scrutiny she is going overboard, or they were not attentive enuf, so she's looking for any kind of attention, even if it's negative attention. Yeah, I know, basically opposites of too much (of the wrong kind of) attention or not enuf, but that's been the case with most people I've known who have behaved like this.

I don't know what to tell you. Unless you can get her AND her parents to at least sit down and start a dialogue, preferably with a counsellor, but if they can talk (not scream and argue) without one, that's a start. It's hard to just sit there and not be able to do anything.

The best I can suggest is to find a time to have a serious conversation with her, tell her that you're worried about her. Let her know that you will not try to push your views on her or make her stop doing whatever she wants to, but that her actions have been scaring you. Tell her that you won't be hanging out with her when she's doing this, that you won't be going to parties with her, etc, but that if she needs to talk, you'll be there to listen. Don't rat her out to her parents -- then you'll be lucky if she never talks to you again, more likely she'll start talking shit about you and give you a hard time.

 

let her run her course, let her trip up and realise whats going on. she wont listen to you until shes done what she wants. she'll think you're trying to ruin her life, that you're a stick in the mud or you should get out more. on the other hand, watch out for her so she has someone to fall back on who will be there for her if it all goes wrong. but as with some of the things me and my friends have done, the only way for them, and me, to realise somethings wrong is to get stuck fast in the middle of it and get someone to pull you out.

on the other hand she could just keep going but if she knows what shes doing and keeps safe then just be there. i know people who are still rebelling like that and they're 19 now, dropped outta school, fuck anything with 2 legs and a dick and take drugs all the time, crash round strangers houses... so hey. i still love them

 

yeah....you can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed. I wish you could, good lord I wish it was possible but... you end up just having to let hte person be. Offer advice whenever they want it, even when they don't if you aren't bitchy about it, but you cant' make them change their behaviours