Thoughts on hooking up w/ my ex-wife for...

What's your thoughts on hooking up w/ an ex for some meaningless sex???

I have recnently found myself swimming in the singles pool again following a 5 1/2 year relationship. I am finding it difficult to meet the type of lady I'm looking for in my area.

My Ex is currently going through her 2nd divorce. Long story not so long; We met in colege through a mutual friend. Basically she was cute and I was horney. Well you know what that leads to. Before we knew it, we had a son. We somehow kept it together for 8 yrs, divorced in 1998. Since it was really nothing more than a physical attraction we really didn't have any business bringing a child into the world. Regardless he is now a wonderful almost 16 year old young man.

Anyway, now that the pain and anger between us is long gone and I think we are both feeling a bit lonely these days and I still find her attractive. I have been contemplating the possibility of inviting her to share an evening of meaningless (for the most part), recripricol, physical pleasure. In no way do I desire to begin a relationship with her; no commitments, no relationship, just fuck buddies so to speak.

We use to have pretty good sex together; until the stress of life got in the way. If it's good maybe we'll do it again. If it's too weird well, we won't. I don't imagine our relationship will be any worse off because of it. The weirdest aspect of it would likely be keeping it behind our son's back. Would probably arrange to have him stay over a friends house that evening as I think it would be really weird for him. .

I have not had the balls to mention this to her yet, but am pretty seriously considering it. Not sure how she would react. She might freak out on me or maybe she'd be into it.

Do I go for it? or do I keep holding out and continue on searchin' for a new special friend? Am I freakin' nuts for even thinking about this?

I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on the subject.

"I got the fever, you've got the cure".

Thanks

 

Yea - go for it - but make it very clear that you do not want a relationship. If that is indeed how you feel. As for the 16 Y/O why do it behind his back. If he finds out then both of his parents are going to be outed as liars. She says “Your dad spent the night" - no details - no big thing - You should never lie to kids they always find out.

 

Hippypaul.
I certainly wasn't implying lying to my boy. Just not sure if it's something he would really need to know about. When I grew up I was always sheltered and fed bullshit like I'm the dad, that's why or told to do or not do w/ no explination and I always resented it. I have always been very open with him about everything and have a wonderful relationship with him as a result.

I just don't think saying oh, bye the way son, I'm fucking your mom again would be right either. Especially since he's approaching the age of sexual curiosity. Casual sex is a bit riskier than it was 25 years ago when I was his age. I have no intention of getting involved with her other than providing each other with some mutual and much needed comfort. While it might be just what the doctor ordered for us, I don't know if it's a good message to send to him.
Thanks for your comments.

 

Ex sex is highly recommended by me.

 

I'm gonna dissent and say DON'T DO IT.

In my opinion, it isn't worth it for you to have sex with the ex wife. If you didn't have kids, I'd say do whatever you want. Your son, however, will always hold this little hope that his parents will get back totgether. If youl lie to him and he finds out about the affar, then you've lost credibility as a parent. If you straight up tell him, then it strings him along.

Anyway, you'll do what you want, but I think its a bad idea.

Peace

 

Happiness is where you find it.


Just make sure you two aren't setting yourselves up for something awful. Personally, I'd advise against it, but good luck with the meaningless sex, should you choose to go with it.

 

It would not be my place to judge if it is a good message or not but it is the truth. Might be a good time to tell him about why casual sex is not a good idea if that is what you believe and if he does ask any questions. I wonder how many questions he would ask if you were both matter of fact about you spending the night occasionally. I myself would just say your mother and I are not married but we still like to see each other. Then if he had questions, I would answer them. But that is only my opinion. In addition, I by the way would never advise anyone to say "I'm fucking your mom again" unless that was what you said while you were married.

 

Im going to say dont do it, too. Just because no matter what you do, if youve had some kind of previous relationship(especially an 8 year one) there are going to be other things attached to sex...emotions brought back...perhaps for her especially. Its not worth the risk of getting tangled up in all that again, not to mention what your son would think if he found out. And for what? Whats the use of a one-night bonking session every now and then with someone you do not love and could never be with permanently again?...I say itll just leave you both feeling cold and regretful. Also, this wont help either of you to move forward. Which is most definitely what you should be doing.

Let go of her...completely. My ex often used to phone me asking for what you wish to ask for. I have now blocked his phone number and we havent spoken for 4 months.


Xx

P.s-If your ex is going through her second divorce this is also going to be a vulnerable time for her. You should be asking yourself if it would be RIGHT to ask her to do this, at a time when weakness may make her agree, then regret it later.

 

Man, what a bitch. He probably felt vulernable asking you that question and you shot him down. No shit you didn't contact him for 4 months because you probably killed his feelings. Have a nice cup of perspective next time.

 

No offence but i really doubt you know this guy. You dont know me. You dont know about our relationship. I offered out that piece of information to show how women can sometimes react badly when theyre expected to be used for sex and nothing more. Rightly so, too. How the hell does that make me a bitch? I dont want him to fuck me then leave me. How low, and cheap. ESPECIALLY after what actually HAPPENED in our relationship. As this man was no longer with this woman, i assumed this was also a going nowhere relationship. And so my advice applied.
As for "shooting him down"...i hope he thought a little before getting back up again.

P.s-This wasnt just one phone call. This was harrassment. No-one should put up with being harassed. Especially not for sex.

 

Are you pregnant?

 

Are you pregnant at age 17?

 

Am i pregnant?

P.s-I will be 18 years old in 2 months. I know for a fact that there are many forum members on here who were pregnant at my age. I also know that there are some excellent young mothers out there. What would be the deal?
My sister had already had a baby at my age, and made a mess of it. My best friend, however, has a beautiful baby boy and is the best mother you could imagine. She is 18 also. Mothers can be good or bad at any age over the age of consent.

 

Why are you answering my question with another question. It should be a yes or no answer.

 

Sorry, youre obviously not too good with the pragmatics. What that question was supposed to mean was-why the fuck do you want to know whether or not i am pregnant and how is it relevant to this discussion?

 

I understand mistakes happen and teens have babies. What qualifies a teen mother to be "good." That she can hold the baby without it crying? That she plays with them more than twice a day? Or that she is a responsible Independent mother? I am sure that mother you think is good is being spoon feed cash from her own mother. I could be a great dad if I never had to work in my life.

 

It would bring me more perspective.

 

My friend lives alone with her child in a rented flat. She never knew her father. Her mother is ill and poor and unable to help her.

This fuss about "teen" mothers is usually applied to underage girls with children, who still rely on their parents. When the "teen" in question is a fully independent adult then what right have we to single them out from any other mother on this planet? Youre extremely quick to jump to conclusions.

 

No, what you mean is, it would help you to automatically assume i was an irresponsible little slut draining money from my parents to feed my fatherless child and drug addiction

As it happens, i do not drain money from my parents, and nor do any of my friends. I do not have contact with my father, and I will be living alone in a foreign country by next may.

 

That is not how I see teen mothers. I see them as irresponsible people who are missing out on life. Society doesn't enable us to take care of a child with only a highschool education.

We are arguing about morals and opinions so we won't come to a conclusion. When I asked you if you were pregnant, I would get a better understanding of your position. I wouldn't use that information to argue with you. I couldn't care less were this argument goes.