a very short story i just wrote...hope it's ok to put it here...

...and in that moment i realised i was wrong. I had been wrong the whole time. The swift role reversal had rendered my position in the matter irrelevant. The ball, so to speak, was now in his court.

I opened my hands to show him there was nothing concealed save for the sweat that had suddenly sprung from my pores. He stood up slowly. His eyes never breaking contact with mine. When he was on his feet he slowly paced towards me and with a single blow knocked me to the floor. My head hit the ground first, bouncing off the black and white porcelain tiles and sending an echoing thud reverberating around the room. As i started to regain my senses i heard footsteps around me. Circling. He was pacing around me methodically. Almost like he was planning his next move.

His strides started getting longer and slower. The gap between one foot hitting the floor and the next hitting the same floor 2 feet in front was lengthening. He was sizing up the situation. He was making the most of his next move.

Role reversal

I tried to think what i could possibly do to save myself a kicking here. If i try to get up he could easily catch me. My only choice was to either try talking to him. Or...

I watched his feet walk by my head. And bided my time, hoping that he wouldn't try anything before he had completed another cycle of my prone and defenceless body.

As i waited the tapping of his feet seemed to match the thumping of my heart inside my chest. And as he approached my head again i took my opportunity. i flung my arms around his ankles and pulled as hard as i could.

It worked. He fell backwards into the wall and slid down it slowly. Cursing his love of revenge as he sank on the floor. I sat up and stared at him and he knew. He knew that he should have taken advantage when he had the chance, but his attempt to draw out the whole affair with some torturous theatrics had lost him his chance. As i stared into his eyes he realised that he was wrong. And that he had been wrong the whole time. The swift role reversal had rendered his position in the matter irrelevant.

The ball, so to speak, was now in my court.

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please tell me what you think about it. I know some of the lines aren't perfect but i wanted to see what people thought so far. It's the first thing i've written in a few months that wasn't song lyrics.

 

You're right that some of the sentences still need tinkering and are bit over strung, but overall that is a brilliant piece of writing.

 

I agree with Showmet, but it is altogether a very wonderful, intense piece of writing! With a potential for greatness!

May i ask what your inspiration was?

edit**

I have no problems with you or anyone posting writing in the forum!

 

at the moment i feel like i'm going round in this gigantic circle...and keep getting my arse kicked when i hit the bottom...so i just wrote this thing...

 

who do you think the other person is, or what does the person embodie? is it you? perhapes it represents soemtihgn in your life that keeps getting in the way and stopping you from reaching your potential and you need to stand up to it and show it/them you can do better, you are stronger you have so much more potential?... what do you recon?

 

i'm not sure...i think it's me too...that in some strange way i sabotage my own attempts at happiness...

there is a certain amount of conflict inside me...i don't know what it might be due to...but it's there...i'm constantly fighting myself over things...finding faults all the time and picking at them...very literally beating myself up over things that i feel like i have no control over. the other person is everything that stops me doing what i want to do, everything i wish i could change and everything me or someone else has done wrong to me...but at the same time it is still me. it's sort of a positive and negative version of myself.

 

how do you think you would feel if you could stand up to that person and prove them wrong like you do in the writing. Do you think you could do that, how would you do that?Next time you are faced with the decision to keep going or turn around walk the road you just travelled and pick up on all your mistakes how can you get yourself to keep going?

 

i don't know really...i have always been my own worst enemy...and to have no enemies seems strange and a completely alien concept to me...i'm always fighting something...usually myself...and so to not have to fight anymore...i don't know how that would work.

i can't really answser the rest of the question for some reason...i can't get my head around it...

 

i like it because i understand it.

roly.xxx