It really bothers me when my boyfriend starts talking about ex girlfriends and his sexual experiences with them. Yesterday I asked him "do i ever tell you what i used to do with my ex boyfriends? wouldnt you feel a bit annoyed? please stop talking about the past, i dont care about things people have done to you." He asked me why i didnt tell him before that it bothered me so much. I just hit the limit, where I dont need to hear stuff like that anymore, i dont know it makes me feel insecure in a way...and a bit jelous he said he'd never talk about that again and if anything ever bother me again i should tell him. Am i right to feel like that or am i being a bitch?
you have every right to feel like that..whats is in the past is said and done and women dont like hearing about what other women have done with your boyfriend..i would feel the same way if my boyfriend ever talked about his other girlfriends. your not being a bitch.you just care about your relationship..peace love and happiness
Last night I was telling him how hurt I felt when I heard he had slept with this random girl the night we met. It hurts me because I thought he was interested in me as I was in him, he even invited me to a party the following weekend. but he slept with her, even though I gave him enough clues about my interest. That's the only reason I cant trust him 100%. He's told me I'm the only girl he wants to be with and he wants to marry me. I feel I'm falling in love with him, i've never felt this good with anyone in my life. Everything between us is so perfect, we get along so well, it's fantastic. the only downfall is my inability to let go of that one night stand of his. He said it didnt mean anything at all, he was drunk and all. but many times when we make love, i cant stop thinking about him having sex with that girl and makes me really self conscious. I dont know how to forget all this. I really want us to be happy and be together, cos I love him and he loves me back. it feels right.
Hey there When my boyfriend and I first met, he talked about his past relationships and students (he teaches adults) who have crushes on him, just to test his waters. he then asked me about my past but my answers were always short and brief so he inquired why. I told him that I don't talk about them. Why? he asked. I said, they are the past, things that I don't want to remember. So he said, if it were to not work out between us tonight, I would disappear in your conversations? I very straightforwardly said yes despite the fact that he said each relationship will always have a place in his heart because through each one he learned something. I didn't reply to that. Now, I can tell that whenever he talks about a past relationship, it is to emphasise a point that he was making, so its not the subject and the reference would be brief. He also once said during one of our conversations that 'I have a rule that I never talk about past relationships' so he stopped asking. Why do I have this rule? I don't want to hear him talking about his experiences with other girls. Sorry. I cannot. It will make me think of how he held them, kissed them or made love to them when he does all those things to me too. So if I don't want to hear that, then I won't impose the same thing on him. I do talk about my past sometimes, about what those 'ex'es once said but I would only refer to them as 'a friend once said...' Sure, he was the one who asked first but you know, so what? Even if I am the one who asked him about his past, I might not like the answer and resent him for that. Who's to blame? I was the one who asked! So apply it to me and him. Even if he asked, he might resent me for the replies. Who likes to hear that the person who you thought was yours did all those wild things with other people? It hurts! So, Zeppelina, if you don't like it, be firm on it. Otherwise you will feel hurt often and he doesn't know why.
i actually disagree...me and my fiance both tell each other of our past experiences. we really have no secrets. sometimes we'll have a night alone and just be out on the porch relaxing under the stars and one of us will tell a story of something or someone from our past. i kinda think that it helps you to get to know each other better. it doesn't make me jealous that he had people before me...i had people before him, too. and i am honestly secure enough with myself that i know when he talks about people in his past, he is simply relating me a story, not comparing me to them. i know there is no comparison between me and these girls because i am his true love, and vice/versa. i am not comparing him to my past lovers when i talk about them, i'm only telling a story. i think if someone is secure with themselves, talk of the past should not bother that person. the past is gone, but it is also something that shapes who a person is, and i don't think anyone should have any regrets about something that made them who they are.
I think that's really cool that you guys can share. Yes, I do agree with you that it helps you learn about the other person but I don't feel that I can listen to sexual experiences of my boyfriend's past.. it hurts but that's just me
it's all in the mind i guess,. I dont like having mental images of my boy with other girls, even though, they may mean nothing to him now, but i feel hurt when i think he's been with other girls. I've also been with other guys, but i dont like to share that information cos it's not relevant now. We are what we are now and past experiences are simply past experiences. it's cool people in a relationship can share these things but I'm not into that. I feel like I want my boy to be the first one in everything, cos after all it's the first time I'm in a real relationship where two people are ivolved, not just me. I just get a little insecure, that's all.
Ya, I guess I share Zeppelina's view. because this is also the first time that I'm in a mutual love relationship. Maybe someday I will think that it is okay to share about the past but at the moment, I don't talk about it because I think that it's irrelevant to us now.
well, first off i wouldn't worry about things he did with other people before you guys were together. "before you were together" includes the first night you met. everyone doesn't fall in love the moment they meet someone drunk at a party no insult to you! and then after that, i'd say just forget about that other stuff. my ex did the same damn shit, and i'd NOT been with anyone else, and all i'd think about for a while was how much it sucked that he'd been with these other people, and on top of it, TOLD me all about it, etc etc. but i got to a point where i was like, eh this is stupid, i'm confident in myself and that's all i have to be. gooooood luck sweety !
I like to know about the past. I ask quite a loot and he always tells me what ever I want to know. But then once I know the answers I start worring about whether I;m as good as them. I know that I have nothing to worry about...but it doesn't stop me. Knowing makes me really insecue...but I can't stop asking questions.
i think my past sucks.... It's too damn gloomy and dark.... I normally put my mind on the screensavor mode when it comes to such things. I try to avoid it all completely and sometimes i end up wanting to throw away every single thing I have from the past... but avoiding it would only make things harder i guesss and i have to accept the fucking stupid past.... hmmmm..... sorry i got caught up with the title of the thred... hmmmmm..... yes.... well i guess that's my intake. :H
to add to what i said, it makes me feel special that dario can feel so free and so comfortable to share with me the stuff that happened to him in his life, including past relationships with other women. i know that he likes me the best, anyway...otherwise he wouldn't have freakin' proposed to me hehehe
I think its sort of a turn on to hear partners past sexual history, I've even talked and listened about them during sex.
