One thing that bothers me is that my man doesnt listen to me. if one of his friends say something & i disagree b/c its not true then he ignores me and believes his friends. it pisses me off b/c he says that i have to be right. its not that, i hate being ignored b/c he thinks im always wrong. like w/ my dreads, i said it takes months for dreads to set & he kept saying, no my friend got them done in a day. then he ignored anything else i said about dreads & it pissed me off. i hate when he twists shit around to make it seem like it is my fault and i am wrong. any one else deal with this shit? i need to hear other stories for reassurance... thanks peace & love
Sorry hippie_chick, but when your partner truley doesn't take you seriously, or treat your opinions/values with compassion, you're going to face a rough road ahead. It's that simple. Eventually it leads to you repressing yourself to keep the relationship alive. Before long, you're in hell, because it gets easier and easier to just give in.
I use to think somewhat like this, that my bf never listened to me and thought I was always wrong (which meh, didnt really really bother me cause I thought thats how he just is cause i have my faults as well..) but then I realized that I kept having to be right all the time. I did, I realized that I kept thinking that he didnt listen and assumed I was wrong and dumb, when the real fact was that I always had to be right. And totally got self-absorbed and thought it was all about him hurting my feelings, when it wasnt like that at all.. It was me feeling sorry for myself and thinking thats how it was when it was me just having that need to be right..After I realized that it was me just taking it to that level when it was never there in the first place solved everything...
sometimes i do that, i guess it bugs me that he doesnt take me seriously. oh well. he can think whatever he wants as long as we're happy together. thats all that matters b/c i love him so much. i guess i can be wrong for him if it makes him happy. sometimes he's gotta feel like he's right... i let him have that!
Hippie_chick, you are not the first person in these forums to say "its OK for him to treat me lousey, because I love him." Please understand my frustration at all those other people when I tell you: THAT IS SO MUCH BULLSHIT Ignoring bad habits (like tobacco) or occasional misdeeds (like cheating) is something that happens in loving relationships. On the other hand, agreeing to an ongoing situation that disregards your needs or feelings is not "loving him", it is failing to love yourself enough. "I love what he could be, but isn't." "I like being with him when he treats me nice." "He's the best I can expect." "I don't want to be alone." None of these mean "I love him." Is he the kind of man that will listen to you and take your feelings into account? Will he put your relationship before his habits? If not, why do you want to spend time with him? Thanks for letting me vent about "I love a jerk" posts. Good luck with your boyfriend.
Love is a two way thing babe, if he doesnt give at least as much as you do it aint working, get your self out of it now, *HUGS*
