I hate this

ok keep in mind this is just me venting, but i need to let it out somewhere. IM so sick of feelnig depressed all the time. it never goes away. Ive gotten into trouble recently and though i know ill never do it again, why must my parents make me feel like the lowest piece of shit on earth for it? IM sick of being called stupid and a bitch by my dad. its killing me inside. IM grounded, but whatever. I just sit at home all day alone with no one to talk to. they obviously dont give a fuck. Im just so sick of feelnig this way, i dont think anyhting good is going to happen to me anytime in the near future, and sometimes i just seirously wish i hadnt been born. it may seem like I have nothing to be depressed about, but i dont know why i am. NOthing makes me happy anymore. iTs just so horrible to hear your dad call you stupid and a bitch everyday, for making a small mistake. Christmas is tomrrow, and its just going to be another depressing day. I hate christmas so much. Itll just be anoter day of hell.

 

Urgh...

I Put up With That for Years...

Then Left Home...

 

i hear anti-depressants work wonders.

 

Disclaimer: I may have overreacted to this but you touched a nerve.

Well, it's like this; they've spent their lives feeling like they're each the lowest piece of shit on earth and, after years of searching for someone who's an even lower peice of shit than they are that they could compare themselves to and feel better they've each decided to give up and follow the old tried and true family tradition of creating someone who (in their estimation) is an even lower peice of shit than they are.

Well see that's a clue; calling your kids nasty little nicknames is not discipline it's revenge. your dad hates himself and hates the world and now he has a captive audience to vent it all out on.
It's really not about you. Believe me, these kinds of parents are secretly pleased as hell when their kids fuck up (as all kids do) because it gives them an excuse to vent.

Realistically, their anger isn't the result of anything you're doing or not doing. The angers's already there. they're angry at the world and you're just the safest fragment of the world to take it out on.

Then start focusing on the distant future. Believe me, spending two years of my childhood planning and preparing for my escape saved my ass. It gives you something to look forward to and a way to say "fuck you" in advance.

So give yourself a present and start owning your life.

 

shit is shitty. parents blow ass

 

Good post NaykidApe.

 

hey, i may not always seem bright, but atleast im just myslef. and im not like some of these people on these forums. they make me hate people even more.

 

and no, i dont make the same mistakes over and over.

 

What exactly happened?

 

That's what I'm wondering...


No matter how bad I fucked up as a teenager...my parents NEVER called me fucked up names. Stupid Bitch is extreme, to say the least. Her Dad needs a Christmas ass whipping for that.

 

meh..its a long story, but stil got to go to court for that shit too. and my parents dont deserve that, but i dont think it makes me a stupid bitch. ive apologized so many times and im paying for everything, but they still dont care.

 

Did you steal that car?

 

no i never did do that. that would have been fun though.

 

maybe go back to teh mary jane forum....it sucks in there now its jsut me bill and dj and a bunch of new people. none of the older posters.

 

hmm .. i find we learn the most from the times that suck though, and sorrow can actually be a sweet gift if we embrace it.

buut i know what you mean and go through the something similar sometimes in my household. it sux when no one believes you, and that really can eat at you if you let it. sometimes you have to believe in yourself and give yourself your own energy, hard as it may be... and it may take some work before you can really be confident and say you believe in yourself and what you are or wanna be. lifes trials question us and let us have a second look at our values, and our judgements, and give us great opprotunities to change to them. y'know, let go, let the walls collapse, build something greater and look for new branches to climb out on. maybe it is all happening for a greater good and it just isnt obvious to you right now regardless, theres always a lesson to be learned in life... and you can always use lowlifes like your dad as perfect examples of what NOT to be in life.

i hope some of this helped, or comes in handy and helps later on for you in your paths through life

 

yea i think i will. there seems to be a lot less stupid posts there. cause people keep posting the same shit over and over again. its fucking annoying,.

 

plus you got me

 

yea jointman i forgot how cool you are. i havent been here in a while and a lot changed. I got a new grinder! and a free bong! and so much other great stuff.

 

perceptions of people through the internet are always fucked up but i just gotta share this one... mine went from poor, innocent, out of luck kid to one of those 16 y/o dirty skanky bitches, who were always fucking themselves over and then playing the victim, i knew in highschool.

no offence intended, i know i'm probably wrong... at least for the most part, anyway.

 

You're father is obviously in the wrong in his treatment of you. Have you sat down with him though and talked about how depressed you are and your desire to for things to get better? Is it all him? Do you feed the negativity yourself by not listening to him and acting the way that you want with zero regard for his feelings?

I've had some major blow outs with my father in the past when I was young where he was a downright dick to me. It still happens as an adult when I don't listen to him and over react to his constructive criticism of me. I can look back though and see that some of my behavior was downright childish and disrespectful towards him and that I wasn't listening.