okay, so my man says he has been depressed which is the reason why he hasn't been very uplifting to be around lately. I told him if their was anything I could do to let me know because I want him to be happy. I understand he goes through boughts of depression every once in awhile, but this time is really bad. He hardly wants to touch me, he won't even hug me. He is critical and harsh towards me and everything I do. He is also extremely apathetic towards my feelings. I understand that depression is a serious medical condition but it my self esteem just cant handle this. It would be easy to break it off with him if he wasn't so damn wonderful (like buying me tampons and listening to me ramble on senselessly) when he isn't depressed. I don't know what to do! I don't know if I should take it personally or not because it seems that when his friends come around he snaps out of his depression temporarily. its so weird!!
I agree with the above questions - also you are saying depression - but what you are describing sounds more like aggression "He hardly wants to touch me, he won't even hug me. He is critical and harsh towards me and everything I do. He is also extremely apathetic towards my feelings." What does being apathetic towards your feelings mean? What does he do? Has there been a change in his work. What is a typical day like for you guys? The questions are meant to find out more information better to give you my opinion. You are of course free not to answer them. However, at this point I do not hear a lot of what sounds like depression
Actually, it does sound like it could be depression, and what he's doing sounds like displacement, ie, putting blame on her for his feeling so down. This is common. Unfortunately, luvah, he's the one who has to do something about it. Confront him and it may provide a wake up call, but it could also backfire and push him further away. I'm sure you have better insight into him than anyone on this forum, and can figure out the best path to take. Maybe a break is needed? Maybe he'll talk to a therapist? Maybe you could talk to him about the relationship, where it's going, and talk him to come to a couple's counceling? The first thing you should do, however, is learn about depression! There's tons of resources on the web for people who are in relationships with someone suffering from depression. Not only are these sites valuable as far as learning, but many have forums that are great support groups and places to vent to others who understand exactly where you're coming from.
I also kind of worry about someone who describes herself as "ramble on senselessly" Just who is depressed here?
