Here's my problem ive been with my bf for about 8 months and hes a trustworthy guy i know for a fact. He tells me that im the only girl he wants to be with im the one he wants to marry. But he also wants to have sex with other girls and get it out of his system. i understand that and everything but i get jealous too easily and when ever we talk about or even when i think of him even touching another girl i get upset. i also get scared cuz when i think about it i think that hes gonna give it to them better than he does to me. i shouldn't but i do. HELP ME figure this shiat out .
I would not be okay with that...ever.... What does he need to get out of his system? If he still wants to go around sleeping with other girls, then he is not ready to marry you. He can't have the best of both worlds. I'm not an ultimadum kind of person, but, if he were my fella, he would have to decide between being loved and being a whore.
He still has desires to be with other women and i understand that hes at the peak of his sexuality. i feel that i have ot be understanding cuz im still experimenting and what not. he 25 and im 18 . when i go and fuck some guy or chick and tell him he understands that i need to get that out of my system but when he wants to i just get jealous.
How much prior experience does he have? It sounds like he's insecure about his "conquests". Just talk him out of it. As they say if you have disagreements, take off your clothes, and see how long it lasts.
So, he has to be faithful to you, but you can fuck around on him? That doesn't seem fair. If you are going to have an open relationship, then you need to let go of you insecurities. You have no reason to be jealous, if you are doing the same thing. (Hope I didn't sound too harsh, didn't mean to!)
You say he's trustworthy and all and you know this, but if he sits there and TELLS you that he wants to go sleep around with other girls, how trustworthy can he possibly be? I mean if his sex drive is that massive to want to have you AND other people to "just get it out of his system", do you think he'd really control that if given the opportunity right infront of his face? Some hot girl completely naked and ready to go? He'd turn that down? After saying how much he wants to be with other people? I sure as hell don't buy it. And my second point, if he only wants to be with you and just wants to marry you, why does he want other people? If he needs to experiment and all this yada yada, why isn't he happy doing that with you? After all, he says he wants to marry you so what better person to do those sorts of things with? I think your man there just wants to whore around but is feeding you all this mushy gushy "only you, marry you" mess so you'll feel sympathy for him or "understand" and hopefully one day be ok with it and let him do as he pleases. He's feeding you excuses babe and it seems to be working, I'd watch out for that. I wouldn't trust that at all...no no no. As for you, if you're still wanting to go mess around with other people then you don't need to be in a relationship. They're supposed to be about 2 people committed to eachother...and only eachother. If it's going to be an open relationship (which those never work, by the way) then you need to make that clear and both of you need to be able to get the same "benifits" as the other...no jealousy, no different rules for eachother, none of that. I still say that doesn't work. You know what I say? I say sit back and think about this relationship you have here. Neither one of you seem to be fully committed to it, no where near even ready to get married and spend the rest of your lives together. ~sigh~
if you're uncomfortable with it I recommend that you either suck it up cos he could feel that way too about you or stop being with other people and start trying new things in bed with him...maybe you can excite each other enough without needing other people? I don't know but if you feel you must sleep around then you must... just don't let your jealousy get the better of you in terms of your boyfriend's liasons... good luck!
i don't know how old this guy is, but very obviously you can not be ready for or really want marriage if you want to sleep with lots of other people...for whatever reason. not possible. those two thoughts can't even co-inside together. now i am not saying this guy doesn't love you, i don't know him so i couldn't tell, but even if he does it sounds like he is not ready for a long-term relationship if this is what he is thinking about...so i would be careful. you don't want to wake up one day, month, or year from now and have this guy say he loves you but he wants a break to sleep with other people, that is not fair to you. you may want to have a serious talk with him now to see really where his head is before your heart is invested one minute more. good luck!
I've been thinking about this kinda situation for a while now; i'm not with anyone at the moment, but i thought it would be one of the things that would come up, as an issue for me perhaps and probably for my prospective at the minute. I would defend an open-planned relationship as a healthy one for several reasons, not least being that it is at the very most a symbol of the trust and love you/I/they would have for eachother. I went out with a girl who knew that i had feelings towards other girls (not anything i would act on anyway even if i was single - she wasnt and i'm well shy, and she is very attractive which i find both irrestible and intimidating blablabla). Things got complicated in our relationship and we never slept together during our official togetherness and she slept with my friend/s during the end and after our relationship. That hurt when i found out, a bit. It hurt like hell to be fair, but it was more the fact that we were splitting up and we were going through hell that hurt more. But very soon afterwards i realised that she needed that sexual release, for whatever reason, and that she wasnt comfortable with me at the time. Fair enough, we split up, and she turned manic depressive and i spiralled into a 1 and a half year bad trip which has only just seen daylight. Point being, it isn't about going out seeing how many you can notch up to show off to your mates, its about doing something that feels good with someone else you want to do it with. Sex, Love, and Marriage are intrinsically tied, but Friendship's there as well. My advice, speak to your boyfriend about the marriage thing thats a big step anyhoo, and try sort out the jealousy thing, maybe a threesome would do as a sexual trust-builder/symbol, but make sure the other girls first, or you're with the girl, so he knows he can relax about you to getting on :H ....although....i don't know, it would be your perogative, and it would depend on his stamina, but some girls might get put out by their boyfriends coming in another girl before them...i recommend getting him to lie down, you grab the dick and ride, let the other girl sit on his face... just suggestions....ooh, and if you take my advice, tell me how it works out pics would be nice!!!
sorry, I don't understand. So you HAVE slept with other guys while you are in this relationship with him? (just asking because I cannot say anything before I know the facts less I make some stupid comment)
Well, I don't think you should "teach him a lesson" or anything, but if he tells you things like that, I would definitely take the fact that he doesn't seem to have a problem with cheating into consideration. If he does cheat, well; once a cheater, always a cheater. Best of luck.
i know im rather young to be saying this for a 15 year old.. but i partially think that he's kinda acting the way that lots of guys do. he's a little child and hasnt had enough sex to settle down with one girl. he still wants to experience others... aand well he's telling you he wants to marry you and stuff but also know that youre just 18! and youve been with him for only 8 months. i know im also young to be saying this too .. 8 months can seem like soooo long when you really love a person so much liek you and him... i lost my virginity with a guy i knew for a week and then we just broke up.. but for the time we were together it seemed like atleast 6 months. my point is i think you should wait longer.. and dont say that you shouldnt be having wierd thoughts about him and other girls because its perfectly normal.. i still bitch at my guy sometimes for satisfying his penis with other girls instead of me in the past and stuff so i know how you feel about the jealousy thing. and dont just think about his needs. what are yours? do you wanna get busy with others too? do you feel liek maybe you wanna experience other men (and women??) before you spend the rest of your life with tihs one guy? maybe maybe maybe .. and this takes so much love and trust and bla bla bla (you name it)- maybe you should just spend a month or three without each other and go be sex monsters with other people. he'll get it out of his system and you (if you want and i think you should) can have your share of it.. and then you can go back together as happy lovebirds for life... ok and one last thing- dont get married soon! my phsychic powers don't get good vibe on that. wait for atleast another 8 months.. its amazing how love can change in two seconds
well i took your advice i talked to him and told him how i felt (about 10 times) and he told that basically he likes to fuck other girls for the simple fact that he challenges himself to see if he can get with a certain girl and for the thrill of it. and also i guess his desire or fantasy is to watch the girl he loves get with another female and then he joins. also for twoseeeyes my bf has had alot of prior experience. hes 25 lost his virginity at 21 and ever since then hes had one night stand with about 5 girls a night for about 2 or 3 years. so um yeah hes had alot of experience. and for everyone else whom is confused ive slept with one other guy and taht was when we were broken up buttogether . hes slept with his ex girl when we were together and well he didnt have sex but basically everything else with about 2 other girls right in front of me so i just say fuck it and let him get his sexual satisfaction the way he wants it and i will let him know my thoughts feelings and what not. thanx everyone for your advice.
