help! not attracted my bf to but i still love him

i have been with my boyfriend sam for 4 years. i broke up with him because we were both driveing eachother crazy and was in a realationship with a guy named joe for a few months but i never tried as hard as i could have, it would have worked the sex was amazing and we were really good for eachother but i broke it off because i was thinking of sam being that he was my first love and i really did love him. when i went back to the sam only to find that i love him so much but don't want him to kiss me and defintily don't want him to do anything sexual with me (and i miss joe so much it hurts). i just are'nt turned on by him anymore.
how the hell do you tell somebody that you are'nt turned on by them anymore? what am i suppose to do? i should break up with him and try to go back to joe? sam is my best friend but i don't know if i can have a realationship with him if i don't even want him to tuch me and its really horrible for me to do this to him and i feel like an awful person.

any advice would be greatly appreciated because i'm compleatly beside myself.

 

well its really not fair for the guy you arent attracted too to be in a relationship with him since you dont even want him touching you..You're awful person if you stay with sam cause being with someone and having them not wanting you to touch them or not attracted to them is more painful then ending it completely with that person..
I mean its not hard to understand what you should do, its obviously be with the person you want, you know who you want to be with you are just making it too difficult.. If you arent attracted to someone and dont want them touching you, how in the world would you have anykind of romantic relationship with them, ya know..

 

*bump*

 

yeah but i am in love with him very very much so...i just don't want to tuch him like that and i'm hopeing to get over it or something...i really wish i knew what it is i want....

thanks for the advice

 

You should take a break until you can figure out what you do want. Imbalanced relationships aren't cool at all, they can literally drive a decent person insane. You say you love sam, but why did you break up with him then? Do you honestly think that whatever problems you guys had isn't going to come back if you're able to settle back down again?

And this joe... forget about him completely. You were in a relationship for four years with someone else. That should take some time to get over. Rebounding is a normal thing, but there's a reason why those relationships usually don't work, and you've just found out why.

 

This is how I am with my ex. Really great guy, always there for me, leaves me messages every morning to tell me to have a good day, spoils the shit out of me but I am not attracted to him. I don't know if it's becuse we've been together on and off for 7 years or if it's because he's gained a lot of weight, or if my tastes have changed. I guess i don't have any advice I'm just in the same boat as you love him to pieces but rarley want to have sex.

 

I was just talking to a friend who said 'Love is like friendship on fire' just thought I mention that as it is certainly making me think and desire endlessly today.

 

I had this problem with my last ex. I love the kid dearly but whenever we had sex I found myself thinking about others. It took me almost a year to realize that although I loved him, I wasn't in love with him. I was in love with the idea of being in love. I was in love with the fact that someone was in love with me. I ended up hurting him a lot and he's still recovering from this. My heart even broke into a million pieces when he moved out because I knew I was losing my best friend.

Although I'm not you and I don't know what you have been through with him, my advice is to break up with him. If you were really in love with him like you think you are, you would want him sexually.