I can't handle it.

I turn 19 in february....I have been clean from meth, coke, and crack for 9 months now...right after I went straight I got rearended at a redlight by a guy who was going about 45 mph and totalled my car and then I had to go have several doctors visits......Im still not 100% ....I got a lawyer - he is working on a contingency basis (he takes 1/3 of what i get out of it)....my mom keeps trying to interfere with my doctors bills that i get and i can not seem to explain to this woman that I am in a law suit and to stop meddling wiht my bills cause i have to give them to my attorney and to stop trying to take care of it because its not her job....she wont listen despite the fact that i tell her if i need help that i will ask (even though she doesn even have the money to help me out with food every day much less doctors bills)......so now th einsurance company has said that they will pay for that bill but not i am recieving harrassing letters from the doctor cause the insurance company is lying to one of of us.......my lawyer keeps calling the hosue phone despite the fact i have said over and over to use my cell (i dont get messages because people in my house are too lazy to walk up the stairs and let me know that i have a phone call).........
I clean the fucking house every day just to have mty lazy parents come home and leave peanut butter all over the counter and tea stains all over the place....dirty dishes on the couch and shit all over the floor........
I can't find a job....no one will hire me.....I apply every where all the time, so now I have just given up and with my insurance money i can use it for one of two things.....start my own small business out of the house or go to the atlanta institute of music for guitar.....which leads me to the next topic
I am a musician and songwriter...a lot of people lik emy stuff....a publisher has played my songs for andy griggs (country artist who gets tons of adio play)....strangers like my music locally people know me....but my family gives me no support whatsoever.....so i f i do music i will have to get a loan, but there is the other problem, no one n my family will cosign a loan with me.....
I am just so fucking sick of my situation and i constantly look for ways to improve it and now i am just at a loss....i am sitting here almos tin tears (thats the other things its always almost in tears, because i cant cry anymore cause when i was a kid i got spanked for crying).........WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO. WHERE THE FUCK CAN I GO. I just cant handle it anymore.

 

Make sure you get a proof reader before you force your art unto the public OK?

 

sounds like using your insurance money to get your own place might be a good thing..and getting any job you can to stay occupied. Good luck with everything.

 

Well if no one would hire you - you need to find out why. If its lack of education, do a college course - or even do a open college course and out that on your CV or something. A employer will then see that you are trying to sort your life out, If people do like your music thats always a good way to go - even if its not a full-time thing you could do it as a hobby.

 

I am doing the education thing...I am in a paralegal certificate program right now.....and Lodog thankyou so much for the wonderful advice....i already feel like dying, thankyou for uplifting my spirits.....fuck the world.

 

Start a small business Brandon. Money talks m8

 

oh and as far as moving out and getting whatever job i can find...thats the thing...i have applied for the lowest of the low jobs....I talked to about 8 different garbage companies and they wouldnt even hire me to ride on the back of their truck......starting a business...what business could i start...i will only get like 3,000 bucks.......I could get some more equipment for my little recording studio, but even then this room is not big enough and not setup right to make money.

 

Why is it hard for you to get any job? Tell me straight and I'll give you a positive & straight answer...

 

I don't know..really..I have a G.E.D....I know plenty of other people with a G.E.D. who have jobs.,...and I am taking night classes at the local college.....I don't have any piercings or tattoos that are visible (no piercings...3 tattoos, but you cant see them if i am dressed)....I am very polite.
I almost had a good job back about 5 months ago, but i was on painkillers from the accident an what i did not know was that painkillers show up in your drug test...i had signed the papers and everything to come on board with them all i had to do was get a clean drug test....and at that time i was completely clean except fro the painkillers i had prescription for.....well they wouldnt take any of my calls.....that was a 36,000 dolar a year job too.....
so tommorrow i am going to go apply at petsmart and see if i can clean up shit or be a cashier.

 

You've got to start somewhere buddy

Just get some incoming money and then you can be your own boss and have your own space...

..and don't be too mad at your mom either. She's only bugging you because she loves you really. My mother is a fucking pain in the ass, seriously. I've got a fucking temper on me and my mom pushes me to the limit.

What's G.E.D?

 

general education diploma ........highschool equivalency

 

Seriously though...

There is alot of immigrants without any education at all, coming into Western countries and getting cleaning jobs. Just try harder with each job interview. If you persist with your goals you'll succeed eventually.

One day you'll probably look back at this thread (with X amount of $$$ in your pocket) and laugh your ass off

 

I think that you should get your own place it might just be better for you and you sound like a very hard worker, have you tried looking online for job I'm in the process of looking myself and I have had some luck with the online listing..

good luck

 

maybe you can go to a temp. agency to look for work.....

as for starting your own business, consider ebay.

 

It sounds like you are from America now i dont know if they have any kind of award scheme type thing - where basically you could go away to a uni and learn or college. What about joining the navy, army or cadets!!! - thats always a good idea to start and they take people from all walks of life - and you will have somewhere to live and get paid - the cadets are a bit mellower than the army or navy i think. Its not that hippy to join them but at least its something. Or becoming a police officer, fire man, nurse - think along the lines of that.

 

try going to restuarants.....they always need people to wash dishes.....thats where my wife started out. and she still doesn't have a GED or diploma. and shes moved up to being assistant chef. it just took alot of time and bullshit

 

As far as jobs... the impression you give at an interview makes a huge difference & I can't help but wonder how you conduct yourself at an interview. You're coming across as a desperate, high maintenance "whole world against you" ball of tension and if that comes across during an interview with a prospective employer than you may just as well stay home because only the places that can't hold onto people would consider taking you on- and trust me, you DON'T want to work at job environment that turns people over.

 

No its not that either......the main thing is that I live in a place that up until now has been the country (which means historically there havent been many jobs here).....well now we are starting to get shopping centers, but all the people moving in from the city (urban sprawl) are taking all of the jobs leaving us folks who have lived here for a while without one.....and I cant afford to drive out of this area for a job, otherwise i would be spending more in gas than making at work.

 

then maybe you need to move into the city.....you don't have to worry about driving all over the place

 

SO NOW.....I hear my dad talking on the phone a few minutes ago and without anyone even talking to me first I found out that near the end of the month I will be kicked out of my room for a little while so that a couple of his missionary friends can stay here.......without event alking to me...I had to ASK HIM about it......now what do i do? i have insomnia and cant sleep at night so this will be hell.