Article: On Black Gay Men, Masculinity and Our Fathers

I wanted to share this article to begin a discussion on the down-low debate, intimacy between men

On Black Gay Men, Masculinity and Our Fathers by Max Gordon

"In places where our fathers can’t see us, in the dark where we sometimes can’t even see ourselves, we’ve submitted to men. In the sex club or porno booths, men share sex, but occasionally, when the sex goes flat, or when an emotion other than lust or indifference intrudes, two men stand still in the dark and just hold each other. And for some, it takes this faraway place, in somebody’s dark labyrinthine basement with the lights down, the noisy house-music thumping and the door firmly locked, for two men to express tenderness and compassion for one other. Surely in these rooms at some time a man cried on another man’s shoulder about a recent break-up or abusive relationship, about feeling lonely, or not being able to be with his family during the holidays because he’d come out recently and found himself dis-invited, about recently being diagnosed as HIV-positive and not having anyone to talk to, fearing the possibility of one day being sick and dying alone. In the small space, he responded to the soothing reassurances of another man who said, 'It’s okay. I’m here.'"

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