why isn't the doctor calling?

ah god I should have been a nicer and better person in life. I should have been nicer in high school and turned the other cheek at work. I shouldn't have cheated on all my boyfriends and ignored my friends. I shouldn't have taken my family for granted and I should have forgave my dad or at least kept contact with my brothers...i was a crappy person and yeah i guess karma's real

 

but high insulin levels cause low blood sugar;right? im going to look up the symptoms brb.

 

Shit I'm fucked I have every single symptom god damn it:
Signs and symptoms of pancreatic cancer often don't occur until the disease is advanced. When symptoms do appear, they may include:

Upper abdominal pain that may radiate to your middle or upper back. About three-fourths of people with advanced pancreatic cancer experience abdominal pain when a tumor presses on surrounding organs and nerves. Pain may be constant or intermittent and is often worse after eating or when lying down. Because many conditions other than cancer can cause abdominal pain, it's important to discuss your symptoms carefully with your doctor.
Loss of appetite and significant weight loss. Unintended weight loss is common in pancreatic cancer. Weight loss occurs in most types of cancer because malignant cells deprive healthy cells of nutrients. But the problem is compounded in pancreatic cancer, which often affects your ability to digest and absorb what you eat.
Yellowing of your skin and the whites of your eyes (jaundice). Half of all people with pancreatic cancer develop jaundice, which occurs when bilirubin, a breakdown product of worn-out blood cells, accumulates in your blood. Normally, bilirubin is eliminated in bile, a fluid produced in your liver. But if a pancreatic tumor blocks the flow of bile, excess pigment from bilirubin may turn your skin and the whites of your eyes yellow. In addition, your urine may be dark brown and your stools white or clay-colored. Although jaundice is a common sign of pancreatic cancer, it's more likely to result from other conditions, such as gallstones or hepatitis.
Itching. In the later stages of pancreatic cancer, you may develop severe itching when high levels of bile acids, another component of bile, accumulate in your skin.
Nausea and vomiting. In advanced cases of pancreatic cancer, the tumor may block a portion of your digestive tract, usually the upper portion of your small intestine (duodenum), causing nausea and vomiting.
Digestive problems. When cancer prevents pancreatic enzymes from being released into your intestine, you're likely to have a hard time digesting foods — especially those high in fat. Eventually, this may lead to weight loss — as much as 25 pounds or more — and malnutrition.
Depression. Although most depression is not the result of pancreatic cancer, severe depression sometimes may be the first symptom of this disease

 

Mild to moderate elevated liver enzymes are normal. Blood sugar can change for any reason in your body. I have cysts on my ovaries which in return cause me to have high insulin resistance causing me to have high blood sugar.

 

I've learned so much if I can just be okay Iand have another chance I'll be nicer kind to everyone not just my kids at work and those close to me-ill be nice to everyone no matter how i percieve their attitude.

 

You freaking out like this isn't helping you. It is proven that stress releases cortisol in the body hence making some people fat. Lynsey don't self diagnosis yourself let the doctors do that.

 

normal enzymes are 0-40 mine are reading 453-exactly for the billrubin, I have the paper right here. I have persistent jaundice, i look stoned all the time because my eyes are yellow. i have malnutrition as of last week the doctor could tell because the side of my lips are cracking open and bleeding and she said thats a symptom of vitamin deficiency-but i cant take vitamins orally bcause they'll make me barf so they inject them but they wont anymore because my veins are flat from all the needles and they need to save access in case of an emergency. But my platlet count is improving where I don't think it would with cancer;would it?

 

ok ill stop im just scared and my friends are so shallow. I called my friend back yesterday and she went on and on about her boyfriend and how he pays too much attention to other girls on myspace. they just don't live in reality and my ex boyfriend just called me and i thought it was the doctor and he's bitching that im ignoring him but he told me the other day 'im miliking my illness to get people to do things for me' so i told him id di not want to see him ever again and i am just upset im sorry ill stop. i just need to get it out ive tried to be so good natured and okay and positive that its just something little but im freaked now.

 

ok i have some xanxax left from awhile ago when i was having boyfriend stress and work problems. i think im going to take one

 

Bad idea Lynsey. If your liver is fucked up and your pancreas is fucked up stop taking pills. Pain killers, xanax, all pills.

 

Hi Lynsey,

I don't know if God cares enough about us to help us out, but I'm gonna say a prayer now for you, I hope at least the positive vibes willl help.

God grant us serenity to accept things we cannot change courage to change the things we can and wisdom to know the difference.

 

ok no xanxax. i have to take the pain pills the docotr perscribed them to me for this. My stomach pain makes me sweat bullets and it even made me pass out last week so. The ones I have are processed in the kidneys instead of the liver so it's okay. I did just take one at 1 though so i'll wait i guess):

 

Thank you. I am not super religous but I have asked to be better and I am on the prayer lists of our friend's churches.

 

Thank you What happened to the guy with the arrow that made his ass look big? God I'm feeling better I just needed to spaz for a second. Thank you for listening

 

lyns, you'll be fine. just try to relax. its not use worrying over things that you don't know yet, especially trying to self-diagnos yourself.

 

Thanks Chris I'm chill now. I just needed to spaz for a few and get it out of my system. I've been really calm through all of this and I just lost my cool this afternoon. I'm okay though now-promise

 

yeah im not big on making fun of bodies either. I think your new one is funny.

 

im going to call back if they dont call by 4:30. Im going to go walk back and forth down the driveway it clears me head and we just got a new one so it feels funny when im barefoot.

 

whatever pull i may have with the powers that be is working in your favor right now.

 

Lyns, I will be keeping you in my thoughts. Hang in there sweetie. And please, keep us updated.

{{{Hugs}}}