very long distance...

anyone here been in a very long distance relationship that has worked out? my guy lives in america, i live in the UK. been 'together' for about 5 months but only physically together twice for a total of a month and a half. he's the most ideal man for me i think i could meet, the sex is incredible and i could see us being very happy together. we are in love and both crazy about one another and determined to make it work. will probably be able to see one another maybe 3 or 4 times a year for a few weeks at a time, i trust him totally, we talk by text every day... anyway how do you guys rate our chances? it's all a bit crazy, but i really hope this is the big relationship of my life and i'll get to join him in the states some day when we're in the marriage place!!

 

"anyone here been in a very long distance relationship that has worked out?"

I think it is impossible. I have a friend, he lives in Spain, He thinks it is normal, but i don't. He is far away and what... I suppose to wait for? Oh if you are talking about REAL love...
I guess i'm too young for such things

 

is there anything stopping you two from moving to be together?

are you 100% sure? it is a big change for the both of you

but if it feels right.. soulmates.. i'd go for it

you only live once.

 

As long as your relationship is 100 % on BOTH sides it should work - i was in one from hampshire uk to wales - not as long as your's but that was quite hard.

 

its working.

see also:
http://hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=123456

 

thanks for the replies - well what's stopping us from moving is that we've not been together long. it's way too new to move in together and because it would mean a move to the US for me, it's a pretty tough thing to do unless you're getting married. we decided to visit when we can, see how things go and... well i'll just wait for the proposal!
it does feel so right. everything seems to just click and it's wonderful. we have been through 3 months apart and when we saw each other again it was even better than either of us had hoped. but you never know. i just hope it all works out.

 

I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and she lives in the U.S. while I live in France. In all we've probably seen each other for a total of 7 weeks and the rest of the time we communicate by snail mail. All in all, I have to say I prefer it better like this right now since it makes physical encounters so much more fun. You just need to trust each other.

 

Although I'm not in an official relationship or anything since I haven't met him yet and there are a lot of other issues I won't go into. I know what it's like to really connect with someone. I live in Maine and he lives in Cali. We talk online, on the phone and even got to cam with each other last night. I think LD relationships can work if both people are dedicated and determined to make it work. When you just feel that amazing connection with someone you'd do anything to hold onto that. Even though I'm single, I consider myself taken cause I don't want anyone else.

He's away for duty for the next week. He's going to call but it's not the same as getting to chat for hours and hours. He only left this morning and I miss him already.

 

Well theres not thát much sea between me and my boyfriend, but theres see. Think Netherlands - UK. I go to school and only see him in vacations, or in a random weekend. That means I see him less then once a month. about 10 times a year, for times between 2 days and a week.
Also I think he is SOME sort of soulmate although I'm too skeptic to call it that.

It IS possible, I know more people who live thát far appart and are together for even years! I'd say move in together within some time, the missing hurts. So much.

 

i'm liking all this positivity - that whole "When you just feel that amazing connection with someone you'd do anything to hold onto that." thing is so true. that's how i feel. good luck with your relationships guys! and trust me i'll move in with him as soon as i'm asked, no question.

 

Long distance relationships VERY RARELY work out. The odds are against you. It's hard to really get to know a person only a few times a year...no matter if it IS for a week or two. The only way to REALLY get to know someone is the time you spend together...the average, boring days...that's when you REALLY know someone.

And if you hardly know someone...how can you really have a healthy relationship together?

 

i know what you mean, but we have spent a total of 1 1/2 months in each other's company 24hrs a day. i feel like i do know him very well, obviously it takes time to find out everything about someone else but we are so open with each other that i feel like we have gone a really long way in our short time together. every little bit of contact he makes, every sweet thing he does, it just brightens my day and makes me look forward to seeing him the next time, and i know i do the same for him. i hope our case can be one of the exceptions...

 

I agree with DancerAnnie. When a relationship starts off as long-distance, you never really get to know the person in all phases of their personality. When you finally see the person, you are so excited and you don't always get the full spectrum of what each of you have to offer. I wouldn't recommend jumping into a marriage if you have only spent 1 1/2 months together. Either way, good luck...
Drift

 

Well you dó learn to know someone if you talk every seccond your not at work/school or asleep almost. For 3 months, then meet and stay together 24 hours a day for about a month. That included some terrifying moment (him cracking his head open on shrooms. It was fucked to see aswell) but he came with me on vacation we had strong and week moments. I went there for 2 weeks soon after. Then for a weekend, then for a week, then he came here for a week and then I went there for 2 weeks.

Do realise that time is spent like a married couple and I talk to him each day the whole day. It kind of ends up in knowing someone best of eveyrone you know. If you're always honest you DO get to know eachother well and its bullshit what people up earlier said.

 

i think every situation is different, and really only i can know how this feels, how well i know him and whether it will work out. i don't want to sound naive but it just feels like this is it, despite what we have to overcome for it to work.
don't worry i won't go rushing into marriage and neither will he want to, it's just that i am pretty much sure that's the way it'll go one day. and i am so looking forward to it

 

our new plan anyway is that he will come stay with me for a couple of weeks around april time and then in the summer i'll go out to the states for at least two months and have a proper good length of time together. it can't come fast enough!!!!

 

long distance works about 1% of the time...I have seen it work with my own two eyes

 

Okay, heres a question though. Does anyone think it would be easier to start off having a long distance relationship or going from seeing each other every day to a long distance relationship? Do you think that fact would change the odds at all? Obviously they both have their pros and cons.

 

I think it would be much easier to start off having a long distance relationship...if you are able to see eachother often, or fairly regularly, you get in the habit of seeing someone whenever you want...when that's taken away from you, you may get resentful and depressed because you miss being with them.

You can't miss what you never really had (time spent together).

 

well in my situation it was that we were in the same place, got together, spent a month in each other's company, then had to go our seperate ways. i was heart broken at first, though well prepared for the day coming, i couldn't stop crying. i didn't know what to think about the relationship, we hadn't talked about what would happen next very much... i didn't know if he would want to keep things going. when i was home again we started texting and emailing and it soon became clear he missed me as much as i missed him. so we went three months then i went to stay with him just before christmas. and our relationship moved to a whole new level. i now know that we're going to do everything possible to make this work. since coming home we've been in twice as much contact as before. it's just lovely and of course i miss him, but it's much easier when you are both making the effort, sending each other packages and telling each other how much you love and miss them.
so to reply to the question i can't really imagine starting off a relationship long distance. i think there has to be a certain amount of real contact initially.