Sigh, I think i have some sort of a social phobia

Sigh, this is a confession, I have been thinking too much about this whenever I go to a fricking party or even when some one new is at the table where I "hang out" with my friends, its wierd. Atfirst i denied it , but i really cannot mingle with people... some people really like me but I really am inept at this for some reason... its not like I have a problem with big groups because when I go on stage I am great, I am a great presenter... but you talk to you me about anything , I am not a good conversationalist. I do not know why!!!?!?!?!?!!!

Every single month, my family drags me to a party with other Indian folk, its not like I don't like them, I do like all of them, I have nothing against them but I have this intense anxiety before the party about this problem. I can't Talk!, i really can't , I tried but i mutter, if i try to raise it I yell...I don't know why!

I only have a few friends and even with them I don't really hang out, Atfirst we plan something like going to a movie and right on the day of the movie ,I cancel, I stood them up so much its ridiculous. I try to not think about this and only concentrate on other things like school or work mostly but i get depressed.

I tell myself great wise things but none of them help at all, i don't follow any of them at the time... I just can't handle it and I don't know why... sigh, yes quite frankly i am pathetic.

 

Dude, I know what you mean, only I have it a step further; I can't even think of how to respond to this post!

But I really want to because I feel like I could have wrote this.

I bet you're a pretty deep thinker, and have quite an intricate philosophy worked out about life and shit. You say you're a great presenter; I'm guessing you're also artistic, which fuels your introversion in a repeating cycle.

And it's probably because most folks aren't seeing the world on your level that you find it difficult to communicate. You may notice significant coincidences throughout the day that prove some point in your mind, while your friends are talking about what shoes are cool this week. Hopefully I'm not just writting about myself here.

You say you either mutter or yell.
I, too, am a man of extremes. I keep myself quiet on purpose for a lot of the night far too often, but it's because when I am involved in conversation, I'm involved 100%, so it might get intense, because I am passionate about the points I'm making. I've recently been called "militant" by a friend of mine, even though when I'm not militant I'm totally peacefull. Out of a sports guy, a guy who likes cars, a water polo player and his girlfriend in our group, I always thought I was the "taoist-guru" archetype.
If I were to judge from your avatar I'd guess you fit in here too.

I'd go on but I think I've said too much. Maybe your just fucked up.

Peace.
Kev

 

PS

Have you ever had it where you're chillin' with your friends and for some reason you feel the need to get up and leave the room for 5 mintues? just to get some air?

I get that. Sometimes after hanging out for a few hours I need time to myself, and if I don't get it I get irritated and agitated, so it's a mental battle not to take it out on people, but then when you finally get alone time it's like, ahhhh meditative bliss.....

 

Oh man,i was just like this before a few months.Just like this u know.And i was thinking that absolutley nothing can help me,even i was tryin` and tryin` to get over it.It was so fuckin` bad!But this problem fades away with time.I just was so sick of being,what i was at that moment and i decide not to be like this never again,so i`m really proun with myself,cuz i handle it and it`s not bodering me anymore.

 

I don't do well in big groups, that is, unless I've had a little to drink. Otherwise, I tend to be quiet and reserved, which many people mistake as me being conceited, which is far from the truth. I just feel more comfortable with smaller groups of people, particularly one to one. I'm actually quite shy.

Some people just do better in more intimate settings and find it overwhelming to be in large groups. We all can't be social butterflies, so don't be so hard on yourself Jedi!

Learn to accept this part of you and embrace it. It's okay, really, it is!

{{{Hugs}}}

 

You are pathetic. Realistically, who the hell can't hold a conversation? Maybe you should seek professional help. There have to be gifted orators around that can help you with the intimate side of things.

Or just get fucking wasted when you have to talk to people. It won't help with the speaking problem but it will sure as hell help with forgetting the not being able to.

 

Such "deep" social attitudes and outlooks on life are probably a huge factor in why you feel so reserved.
So much meaningless emphasis placed on how well people can speak about absolutely nothing of worth and flaunt their little ego's in a social setting. And that is at odd's with your honest and sincere nature. Do you really want to be fake so that you can talk to such people?
You are simply in search of real interaction, my friend, and it will come, though it is hard to find.

Mae govannen Mellon!

 

True, maybe I am looking for just a stimulating conversation... and I think now I some what realize that, thank you everyone for your positive replies.

Anyway, I realized today that I am not that bad really, I mean i am fine when it comes to conversations with everyone else at my school... its only when I am going to parties that i feel like this. thats all. Otherwise I am just fine.

Thanks.

 

that almost sounds like me only I dont yell or mutter. I just can't talk to people well.