very long distance...

so so so so very untrue. i know thats ur opinion, but i have gone through both.. its easier when you already have some basis to build upon.

 

what do you guys think determines whether a long distance relationship has "worked out" is that only if the two end up married? or only if they break up over something not related to the distance? i'm curious... because many relationships are successful for a while and then fall apart for whatever reason, and long distance relationships can be much more difficult than short distance ones, but the same problems occur (cheating, going out too much, not enough communication, not enough emotional feeling/physical contact, etc)

i'm in a long distance relationship right now and we're moving in together in a few weeks. we met online so our relationship has always been long distance... even if we hate each other after being in person for six months, i would still say our relationship was successful, and actually if this was the case, it would have been more successful as a long distance one. i seriously doubt this will be the case, and i guess our situation is rare, but ppl do it... i know at least three married couples off the top of my head who were long distance for years and are now happily married. one knew each other from highschool and met up again years later to have the long distance thing, and the two others started off long distance, one couple meeting online, the other in a hotel bar during a vacation.....

it takes a lot more dedication... you're not as accountable as in a closer distance relationship, so it takes more trust, and more "discipline" (for lack of a better word), and more and better communication is usually the result....

yeah, i'm just gonna stop there, but i'll sum it up by saying long distance relationships take work, and so does everything else that's important to you. (it's striving for a goal of being together in person some day... always assessing where the relationship is going and if the time and patience and effort is really worth it, especially if you have other possibilities that would take less work)

 

Very well said. I have to say that I have seen a relationship that had all the dynamics of a long distance relationship survive for 6 years. In fact, if you include the non physical aspect of the relationship and the physical aspect of the relationship, my mom and her bf have been together for a total of 11 years.

They met on a local BBS and chatted back and forth for a long time (something like a year or a year and a half) in a text based role playing game never revealing any intimate details of their lives to each other. One day he asked my mom if she would be okay with becoming pen pals since he wasn't going to be getting online again for a long time. He then revealed to my mom that he was sentenced to go to prison (for arsen that his ex wife framed him for) for 10 years. He got out after 6 years on goodtime. In the beginning their relationship consisted of novel sized letters written usually twice to three times a week. They got to know each other and my mom went to go visit him in jail whenever they could. They sat across the table from each other and weren't even allowed to physically touch, hugs included. They actually had their time cut short once when my mom reached over the table to hold his hand.

Their relationship didn't even turn physical or anything more then verbally intimate for more then 4 years. After some good time he was allowed to visit his mother on furlow where my mom eventually began the more intimate side of their relationship. After a total of 6 years served, he got out on good time. They have been living together for 5 years now. Although they have thier issues, they still love each other. Even if overall the relationship doesn't last, the long distance aspect of the relationship did succeed and was actually harder to manage then a traditionally long distance relationship considering the circumstances and restrictions.

If both sides had a true connection, personal stregth, dedication, honesty and communication then the circumstances wouldn't matter. Every relationship has it's own set of challenges and when it comes down to it, the most challenging relationships where you go through a lot together can sometimes make a stronger bond then a relationship where you don't have as much trial and error. The harder you work at something, the more you appreciate it and the less likely you are going to jeopardize the relationship.

Besides, all cliche sayings have at least a little truth to them. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

 

weeble that is such a sweet story of your mom and her bf. they must have a lot of faith in one another.
in answer to tigerlily's question, i guess that i count 'working out' as lasting for at least a few years and yeah i guess breaking up if it happens over something other than distance. personally i'd love to get married to my bf and have kids. he text me last night outlining what our life together would be like if i moved over there. it wasn't an offer, just a nice idea. it's early, but i have such hope for our relationship.

 

This topic makes me mis my boyfriend even more. And its another week and 4 days till i see him again. I guess I'm lucky to still see him each month or more.

 

damn lucky time seems to drag along so slowly when you're apart, right?