I have to be on valium until I see a GI specialist

next week because apparently the epstein barr is out of my system and I still have a contracted gallbladder. Most likely I'm going to have to get it taken out my my doctor's last hope is that the valium andbentyl will relax my organs and slow me down enough for the bile to move again and get rid off the contractions of my galbladder, liver and pancreas. This made no sense to me until i read: Valium is a useful adjunct for the relief of skeletal muscle spasm due to reflex spasm to local pathology (such as inflammation of the muscles or joints, or secondary to trauma)
I fall int he secondary trauma category. I took my first valium tonight and it's too 'drugy' for me I HATE it. I don't see how I'm gonna function like this. It's bumming me out man. I'm sick of all the drugs, just sick of them. I wanna be articulate and on point and quick again.

 

i'm sorry you have to take all these drugs. i'd be bummed out too if i had to do deal with what you're doing. hopefully this will get teh bile to move again.

you're gonna be so happy when this is all over with.

 

Yeah i use to take alot of Xanax (which is in the same family) i liked the feeling but i admit, it makes it really hard to function, but i hope it helps, here's thinking of you lynsey.

HOPE YOU START TO FEEL BETTER SOON

 

yeah so basically I got so stressed out before all this happened and during that I made myself ill...I made myself sick and it's really depressing and sad and I feel very sick in the head now if I get so stressed that it causes my freaking organs to spasm.

 

Yeah, i know what thats like, not that im suffering to the same degree as you but i know alot of my health problems are caused by my mind but im doing pretty good now days.

My advice to you, is take the valium as long as its helping, it should stop the physical reactions to your stress and fingers crossed it will help and then you can stop taking the valium and make a good recovery.

Best of luck lynsey, sincerely

 

Thank you very much I like xanax it mellows me out but the valium just make me feel flat and emotionaless and I hate it. I'm really dissapointed in myself that I let work, my exboyfriend, other peoples problems and my emotional baggage bring me to this point. My mom just said something really true but it hurt. I had something horrible happen to me almost two years ago and very rarely do I talk about it with anyone. My mom scheduled therapy apooitments for me and I manipulated the psychologist into thinking I was fine and held it in and my mom said it had to come out somehow and this is how and I know I caused all of this illness myself and still I can't talk openly to anyone about what happened no one in my life knows the true and whole story and it's eating me-literally eating me inside. and I'm a selfish bitch for subjecting myself to so much stress that I might not be okay now. I'm my mom's only child, one of two grand kids the only one close with my grandparents and I'm causing them a lot of heartache and worry right now and I hate it. I just needed to get that out sorry I just god am really upset rightnow...hah I thought the valium was supossed to relieve stress and now I can't stop crying I feel like such a baby and I hate it.

 

Well, first of all you cant let go of what ever it is you are holding on to for someone else, you have to do it for yourself and in your own way.

Also dont feel guilty, you are suffering right now it happens you are only human (and you seem like a good human), feeling guilty can only add to your stress and wont help anyone.

If i were you i'd accept you are in a bad way and you need to get better and i believe you will.

By the way i have broken down over what is probably less you are not the only one!

 

I will. I'm just down that it'ssomething I did to myself and that I let fucked up coworkers, fucked up men and drama interfere with my health. never gain will i allow drama in my life, never again. I have to work the beer gig from 5-7 tommorow and then my firend is making me low-fat fetticinne alfredo with charred shrimp and broccolli...she's so nice. i missed her party tonight. Im gonna pick up a fruit tart fromt eh french bakery on my way up i think...god i am just whacked right now i cant stay on topic. i hate valium i really do.

 

dont feel guilty lyns...its very hard to express deep emotions that have been kept secret for a long time. you will turn out fine. just keep your head up. this might sound harsh, but the past is the past, you can't change it. but you can move on. its hard, very hard to move on. but you can do it. i know you can.

 

Thank you...I needed to hear that really I did

 

...edit-im going to do what i knew i needed to do for two years. iwork too hard and am too smart and have too much going for me to let him eat at me or get away with it
QUOTE=fitzy21]dont feel guilty lyns...its very hard to express deep emotions that have been kept secret for a long time. you will turn out fine. just keep your head up. this might sound harsh, but the past is the past, you can't change it. but you can move on. its hard, very hard to move on. but you can do it. i know you can.[/QUOTE]

 

im gonna sleep it out its gonna be a long day tommorow. god today i went to class at 8:30, docs appoitment at 11:30, then work until 6:30 then over to my new school to meet with my internship advisor. the only thing i have to do for my internship is bring in my case notes from work with the kids names blackedout for confidentiaity and then go in the lab and learn how to input them in the states system and find a way to measure progress over a 6 month period...which little to their knowledge I alreay have in place and little do they also know i work with adrc as a partner and know all the state comp programs...sweet 6 grad credits for what I already do

 

Any time, thats what we're all here for, to share whats on our minds, and help each other out

 

Blues and plain ol fashioned asprin will keep One functioning/mobile when all else fails.

Without them I prolly couldn't/wouldn't be doing as much as using this PC...

 

From what I have read, I can relate to quite a lot of what you are going through in similar situations...I am on Valium and have been daily for past 14 Years and now dependant and socially dysfunctional...

A 'Secret', took me 15-years of misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis, until learned of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) the reason I am so messed up.

If you can find a therapist or someone you can trust to help you work out the one thing that changed you to the day, it can just keep piling up.

I hope you can find a way to talk to someone maybe in mini steps, & get it out. I hope I am not sounding rude as I really mean well, Sorry for this long reply. It's feeling misunderstood. I just would not want you or anyone to suffer as you are suffering now. Some people think that it is easy to talk about.

It is painful to get out, if it does not get out, and much of mine still has not. Maybe if you are able to get this two year secret all the way out, you can feel much better. I really hope you can get it out over time. I wish you the best. Sounds like you have identified the one issue you can not talk about, maybe when that comes out, the rest will all just fall into place. Never give up, Sending Best Wishes- RxHead

 

Hey, how you been Rx?

 

Okay, if you don't like the valium so much, but can cope with xanax, ask your doctor to switch. I don't like benzos personally, and my mom got real fucked up on them (fuckin doctors, eh?) so i'm probably biased against them, but hey, it's worth of shot.
And don't feel badly about your health. Odds are it's just some random Bullshit, remember; life is a shit storm, and you don't have an umbrella.
If you are serious about your psychological issues, i'd suggest seeing a psychologist again. Maybe the first time you still couldn't cope with the trauma, and maybe now you are ready.

Peace and Chicken Grease.