I've been feeling really scattered and lost lately. I feel like I have no spiritual direction in life. The only time I even feel the slightest bit spiritual is when I'm around my friend Brandon. He and I can talk about past lives and spirits and whatever, my other friends think I'm weird. I only get to see him on the weekends. During the week, I feel like I'm too busy to even think about my spirituality. I don't meditate anymore. When I try to, I have a lot of trouble relaxing and really can't get into it. I haven't done spellwork since my son was born and he's about to turn one. I want to try and find a Circle, but I have to travel 3 1/2 hours from home most weekends, so that's not really a possibility. I don't know for sure, but my mom may have something to do with it. She's a fundamentalist Christian and keeps telling me that I'm going to hell and I'm causing all kinds of problems in our family. It's really bringing up the guilt that I used to feel when I was a Christian. Sorry about the rambling, I just needed to get it out.
Get your hands in the soil, your toes in the water, re-establish your bond with the Holy Mother. This is the season when old spirits haunt us, the days are short and the cold snaps at us. And the stress of the holiday season is harsh on our souls. The long night of winter will soon be at an end and the heat of the sun at our back, the warm earth beneath our feet are reassuring. Hold on. Spring is coming.
It's hard when living with someone who has opposite spiritual practices than you do. I know coming from a very Catholic family on my side and a very Protestant family from my husbands. It can be very disconsorting. I do find, though, simple acts like meditation with a little sandlewood burning or a simple walk in the forest re-establishes my faith in the Goddess and my path seems a bit straighter and brighter to walk on. It's very easy to lose one's step, especially in these winter blahs.
Try living in rural Bible belt Alabama, where the topic of everyones conversations usually involves christianity, or getting drunk, which seems to be the perfect combination. I am glad I finally found a girl that is somewhat agnostic, at least I can talk to her without being told I am going to hell.
you gotta remeber everyday is scared and so is every action...just treat every single second like it's a ritual...if you know what i mean...uhm... if you can I recommend reading"the circle within" by diane sylvan...I used to be really far from my belives but I read that book and it helped me and my beliefs become one thing.
