Almost famous (well not really) and afraid

I was asked to be a guest speaker for a junior college's Buisness Administration's students, faculty and alumni mid-quater meeting. I was not a buisness major at that school I got my AA in cognetive Psychology lol. They want me to talk about being a non-profit administratior and customer service skills when dealing with a minority population ( rrace, economics, disabilities...ect.) I am honored. I am so honored that I was asked to do this but as I was explaining to Chris earlier I am also afraid. I mean this college is in oceanside and that's where I used to go all the time when I went out a lot. I'm afraid that somone's going to recognize me from being shit faced drunk, snorting lines or doing other stupid things I used to do.I'm just feeling like my life is moving to fast like how the hell did all of this come together? You get rid of the hate in your heart, you get rid of the crap and things pull together.

On top of everything else I got a call from my doctor with my latest blood panel results. My liver enzymes are way down!!! She thinks the eptein barr caised my liver failure and that I also have 'stress induced gallbladder disease' which basically means I was so stressed out my gallbladder acted as if I had gallstones and stopped moving the bile. She is still sending me to the GI specialist on the 30th and they're going to stick a tube down my throat and up my ass because they also suspect I have ulcers from bulimia, which caused me to throw up involuntarily a lot int he future.

I just feel like everything is coming together for me. Class is great. My CSU classes are hard but with a reputable prof for the psych class and a cute TA for spanish and my new grad school-National University is going great...super expensive but really easy lol kinda buying your degree heh.

But then I got this compiled with the conference press release in the paper today for events. I mean how did I get so lucky in life? Please tell me why I am so damn lucky? Health and Hapiness finally coinciding for me for the first time in my life.(edited on here for conf. reasons):

Save the Date! March 22-24
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Kids Included Together presents their 2nd annual National ‘After the Bell Rings’ conference on Inclusion. BGCSDTO’s Lynsey Hoffman will be one of many speakers and presenters covering topics including; disability awareness, providing respectful accommodations, including teens, & more​

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I have 2 last names lol. That's not my legal last name...yet fucking courts screwing up paperwork. I just started using that name a few months ago so you won't find much on me with that lol

 

Wear black.

 

you just get married anyway i wood love to reply but you're post is so long

 

this is a very positive thing for you lynsey, you have nothing to be afraid of

 

hah nice...I get it...what you're implying I mean...but really nothing can insult me now I'm high on my day...shit I made my boss cry in my summary of a child's progress it was just one of those days; ya know?

and the suit I got last week is actually cream and light pink tweed with gorgeos handcrafted brown woven leather buttons and I'm going to wear cream opaque tights with brown low-heeled maryjanes. My young age and what I've accomplished for being so young is why they asked me to speak so for once it will be nice not to try so hard to look older.

 

hah no since taking my grandfathers last name I will not be changing my name if/when I get married. It's so hard to change your name I never want to go through the paperwork or the beearcracy again plus I'm a Hoffman to the core...the nose job nose, with no job, narrow hips, high cheekbones and a gut!!!!!!!!! oh and a little crazy in the head lol
I'm going to be honest in saying I am dissapointed in you for not reading my entire post as I think I have been a very good friend to you recently and it's a two-way street I expect the same in return.

 

ok i broke down and read it do not worry about those whom you are speaking to speaking up for non profit and not for profit organizations is something that is not done often enuff

what these people have seen you do will only make your words sit that much heavier within them nobody expects the drunk girl that is snorting lines to do non profit work for children when they see how far along you have come in life it may just make them believe in the power meaningful helpful jobs and such

 

I told you what would be positive for me, now please obliage and stop even if what you think you are saying is nice it still rings negative for me because of the past. All I ask is that you respect that and stay out of what I write as these are MY thoughts and feelings and you are no longer entitled to comment on what was it you called my life just 2 days ago oh yeah 'the springer show'. Seriosuly I appreciatte your intentions but if you truely cared you would just stay out or I will have to put you on ignore again. no disrepect I just need what's best for me. Thanks

 

you are falling behind i must say i am dissapointed in you for being dissapointed in me i would never dissapoint you

 

Thank you for being a friend....traveled down the road and back again...your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant thank you for being a friend lol...sorry the nakked picture of the golden girls on your page has had that song stuck in my head all day lol

Hw are things going with the girlie?

 

I know sweetie. I'm sorry I should have pm'd you that...didn;t mean to call you out in public but damn that new cd has made me so emotional the stan version with elton john right after the freaking song to Hailey and then a 12 hour day and an overwhelming amount of good things. I mean it was like career christmas today

 

i dunno i must talk to her about the way things are i dunno if i can handle the situation we are going through i want to but i can not if things do not change

i do not want to stop seeing her but i am not good with things like this we are at different stages in life

 

no need to be sorry i have nothing to hide almost nothing i guess im not big on rap but that song to hailey is touching the man is going to give up what he loves for his daughter it is beautiful

 

I understand. You are really mature in a lot of ways for 20 so I can see how even besides the other issues that in its' self may pose some problems.

 

It is. The last few songs on the cd really showed how he evolved as a person but man I'll be sad to see him go..no more cd's): *sobs*

 

nad bullshit you're a total rap fan wtf you talkin bout willis?

 

she is very mature i can not deny that it is just that her and i are looking for different things it is very conflicting and confusing

 

I'm shocked and appalled that you'd think I would imply something mean.

I meant that you should wear black because it would highlight your lovely features.

 

yaaay! You go Lynsey! That's awesome!

One of my moms oldest friends always does two guest lecturer dealios for an entrepreneurship class at my university, and he doesn't have a degree in anything at all! he's just always been in business, almost always owned his own business too. He finds it really rewarding, I don't doubt that you'll love it too! and the outfit sounds ubercute