So I finally took a pregnancy test today. I had been putting it off and putting it off. My period was 3 wks late, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. Then my whole internal timer seemed to change. I am (and always have been) late to bed and late to get up. However, the last couple of weeks, I have been nearly catatonic by 11 or 12 pm and up at 8 am with no alarm, and no chance of falling back asleep. My skin, which has always been relatively clear, is breaking out like mad, and I have to pee all of the time. So finally, hubby says that I can't put it off any longer and I need to take a test. So I do, and, of course, it was negative again. And I took it much worse than usual. I don't know why. Maybe b/c this time I was so so so sure. I'm beginning to feel like it's never gonna happen for us. And while I know my husband tries hard to understand, I feel like screaming sometimes because he just doesn't seem to get it. Every time I get a negative, his response is always the same. "Don't give up hope, we can try again." and I am so sick of hearing it. So...very sorry for the long post. I guess the question I have in the midst if all of this babbling is this: To those of you who had or are having trouble conceiving, How did you make it through negative after negative??? I'm trying my damndest, but I honestly don't know if I can stand another one.
I know how you feel, it hasn't happened for us in the four years we've been together (no contraceptives). My husband isn't too bothered but every month that I get my period it feels like I'm running out of time. I've changed my diet, lost weight, gone almost teetotal but nothing is working. And then everyone around you is getting pregnant accidently, people who don't deserve it, people who do but aren't ready. All I can think is 'IT'S NOT FAIR!'. I don't know how many times I can keep trying before I have to take drastic steps - which I'd rather not do. dancinattwilight - I'm sorry you're having trouble too huge hugs and I'm wishing you all the luck in the world.
***************Hugs, Mamas*********************** I'm sorry this is so rough. Have y'all been to a doctor to see what maybe might help?
(((((hugs))))) It is so very hard, I know. Have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler? That helped me, up to a point... When trying for our first, charting my fertility signs just didn't work, I wasn't ovulating on a regular basis (long story, I have endo, and the side effects from certain hormone medications did not go away for *years*). But it did help me feel more in control of the process. Is there any chance there might be a medical reason for your problem conceiving? Has your husband's sperm been tested? How long have you been trying? Were you on hormonal birth control pills? Sometimes it just takes a long time for certain medicines to get out of your system, especially if you were on them for a long time. If your husband's sperm is normal, the next step would be to see a reproductive endocrinologist. You don't have to agree to IVF or IUI to see an RE and find out what might be contributing, and talk about your options. as for how I got through all the months of negative tests and heartbreak...??? I didn't cope very well myself. I cried, I freaked out, I got mad at the world. And I allowed myself to take breaks from the charting and temping and timing when and how often we made love. There are some really good online support groups, too, and I wish I had found them sooner!
Thanks so much to those who responded. No, I've never been on the pill or any contraceptives other than condoms. As far as going to the doctor, I've mentioned it but my husband doesn't like the idea. He feels that we're still too young to start seriously worrying about our fertility. Also, I think he's afraid that there wil be more restrictions put on when we can have sex. We've done the ovulation tester with no luck, as well as charting BBT. He hated both b/c he feels that as young as we are, there shouldn't be so many restricitons on sex. He wants to be able to do it "whenever, wherever (to a point hee hee)." Righ now we are making love every other day, b/c I have read in many fertility books that having sex everyday can actually be counterproductive b/c the man needs at least a day for his sperm count to build back up. I'm just so tired of waiting. Lazuli Blue- I know what you mean!!! My mom and hubby say that it just SEEMS like everyone around me is preggers but I swear, in the last 2 months, 10 of my friends, my sister in law as well as 4 or 5 cousins have found out they were expecting. It's possible that maybe i'm just noticing it more in light of my own shortcomings in that area, but i swear it feels like the universe is laughing at me, by throwing it in my face.
have you tried alternative therapies, accupuncture and reflexology are good for fertility, its weird how it works, but for some people it does, maybe try to see an accupuncturist for a consultation and see how you go from there. Goodluck.xxx
I'm really sorry dancinattwilight. I hope that things work themselves out and you find yourself pregnant soon sweetie. Much love to you...
I read, that sometimesd it helps to to not be too eager... In between all your eager to conceive, is there actually room for a child? Maybe your plans are too tight, to make room for something that is hard to predict? Be relaxed. You're just 20. There is plenty of time to still be a young mama.
Even if you both decide you aren't going to take action right now, it might be a good idea to find out what the problem might be. If it is just that you are having sex "too often" and you dh just needs to wait 4-7 days to build up sperm, then it isn't a big deal, IF, however, you have endometriosis, or ovarian problems, or even a Pelvic Infection waiting could turn a temporary fertility issue into a permanant one. If he has a blockage on his side, due to several issues, taking care of it now is better than trying to do something when he is older and the help may not work. It is really best, if you are worried to find out NOW. You can still wait to have babies, but if action needs to be taken, it can be done before it is too late. My mother had secondary infertility, IF she had taken action in her early 20s she could have had more natural children, but she didn't (as usually my dad "had problems" with seeing doctor, in case the doc said it was "his fault") and she ended up permanently infertile. See a doctor now, and wait to have the babies later, if you want.
hey mamas :0) I just thought I'd share this with ya, my mom and dad tried for prolbably 6 years to get pregnant, my mom had a couple miscairages, and had just had one when she went to a wedding of a friend. She's always told me that everyone around her was getting pregnant then, including her next door neighbor, who was a white supremisist, and already had a couple kids, and wasn't trying. Anyway, my mom went to this wedding and was very upset, and it just happened that her spiritual teacher was preforming the ceremony. He asked what was wrong, and went to meditate on it, saying he'd take care of it. Well, that night, my mom got very drunk, and said it was the first time she forgot about having sex expressly to get pregnant, and that's the night I was concieved. So I guess I just wanted to say that (as hard as I'm sure it is!) forgetting about it, and just going with it, is the best thing to do. Also, when it's the right time for you, your baby will come ((((((hugs))))) to you mama!
my parents tried like heck to have a baby when they first got married. They had a hard time of it, and between the ages of 23-27 my mom had four miscarriages. Finally, her doctor told her to forget about it, she wasn't capable of having a baby, and since she'd miscarried so many times he suspected that she couldn't even get pregnant again. They stopped thinking about it, got on with there lives, and planned on just living without kids. When my mom was 28, she thought she had the flu. For three months. It turned out to be my big sister. Never give up, but it couldn't hurt to relax!
I know you all mean well... but when I was ttc unsuccessfully for so long, the most hurtful thing anyone could have said to me was "just relax" or tell me stories of people who got pregnant after years of trying when they quit trying. Infertility is so complex, and brings out some very complex emotions in women experiencing it (even if it isn't really infertility but a lack of patience - most women have to try for 6-12 months before conceiving). I agree with Maggie, a trip to the doc is in order, for both of you. If you can't get DH to do his thing into a cup for a really simple test (it really might be as simple as the fact that it takes his sperm a few more days to mature, and you are having sex too often), at least go talk to your gyn about things. If you have irregular periods, or if you have cramping that ever requires medication, or if you have abdominal pain during or after intercourse, or before or during your period, if eliminating waste from your intestines or bladder is painful, especially if it is painful during certain times in your monthly cycle, you should talk to your doctor about these things. And if your doctor does not take these symptoms seriously, you need to find a new doc. Waiting could make a problem that is fixable now incurable later.
Maybe this sounds crazy, but i'm so afraid of going to the doc. I do want to go, but dh saying not yet is almost a relief b/c I'm so afraid of finding out something is wrong that we don't have the money to fix. For the most part, we are ready for kids (as much as anyone CAN be "ready") We both have good stable jobs, and just bought a 3 bedroom house. So, ok on the financial front. As far as emotionally, I feel like i was born ready. I know how cheesy that sounds and I know it's kinda untrue, b/c I doubt a few years ago I would have been, but that's how I feel. I've been looking into adoption, which I know, as of now We're too young for, but just tryin to stay informed. Maybe this belongs in another thread but does anyone else have a prob with the fact that, even if financially you can afford to give a kid a happy, healthy life, if you can't afford to plaster name brands all over their ass, you're deemed "not good enough" by agencies?
