i know all kids have tantrums, but...

is THIS normal? Honestly, Willow (2.5) is having a tantrum right now, and its normal for her, but if anyone else saw this, they'd think she was dr phil material or something. She had one last night at my mom's house, and i really thought my dad was going to have a breakdown. My mom told me later that he was worried, because he's never seen a kid act like THAT. Like, he couldn't think about anything else all night.

She's one of those kids that just has to let the tantrum run its course; if you try to hold or comfort or reason with her, it gets worse. If you yell and threaten her with time-outs, lost toys, etc, it gets worse. If you try to hold her down and give her kisses and sing lullabies, it gets worse. She shrieks, she growls (seriously), she swings her fists and she scratches and bites. She is a passionate little lady. If i reach my arms out to her, she backs up into a corner, and then pounces and attacks. If i turn around and try to leave the room, she wails "NO MOMMY, MY WANT YOU!" All i know to do is to leave her in my room, close the door (she won't open it on principal), and wait. Only it's been over an hour? Is THAT normal? Don't kids get tired?

i know she's acting out lately because she feels like shit (she has two ear infections, and one is nearing dangerous levels of swelling). She can't handle the stress, but i don't know how to help her either. i know her ears hurt, and i'm not proud to say it, but i literally held her down and forced tylenol down her throat. i swore i would NEVER do anything like that to my children, but i thought maybe if she wasn't hurting so much, maybe it would help. No such luck, she got me back by spitting it in my face, and now she's wildly angry and STICKY. And so i wait. Is ignoring her worse? i really don't know. mommy needs a hug

 

well from ym experience and from reading a couple posts on this subject there are several things that you could do. You could start having a tantrum yourself and do what she does scream and yell and pound on the floor. Or when she is finished with her tantrum talk to her about why she had a tantrum and what made her throw such a tantrum. Or If none of those work when she is happy and calm and able to listen sit her down and talk to her and say to her that you understand the reasons why she throws tantrums and explain to her the different ways she can take out her frustration like quiet time, or cuddle time, or having you read a book and cuddling, or if she doesnt like to be physical when she is upset get a little punching bag for her and explain to her that when she is feeling frustrated and mad to go and punch that bag until she feels better and also make it very clear to her that she should not punch or hurt anyone or anything else just that punching bag. Or if she has to be vocal when she throws a tantrum go and buy a timer and sit her down and tell her that she has 10 minutes to scream and holler and get all the frustration out but as soon as that timer dings the tantrum is over and go and give her a hug. Every week or so cut the time down and soon she will outgrow tantrums. Hope one of these will work and let me know how everything goes. Good luck.

~Fallen Fairy~

 

i love it...she smiles, gives me a big tackle-hug, and acts like nothing ever happened. Weirdo.

Good ideas, thank you.

 

I just love the way kids do this, you're just driven to the point of despair with them, wondering if maybe they do have a serious problem, and then it's like they flick a switch and turn back into little angels.

Sorry, not got much help on the tantrum front as none of ours did much in the way of tantrums ( not good parenting, just genetics I reckon ).......I guess I would get those ears checked out as Willow could be reacting to pain, ear pain is just horrible........and I'd make sure she gets enough physical exercise in the day, that does seem to help.....

 

Oh, poor thing, yeah I'd say it is because she's sick. Our ones act up when theyre sick too (my little sisters, that is). I don't think it's anything to worry about, an hour is pretty good going but its not an unearthly amount of time to have a tantrum for. I don't know about the punching and kicking thing but I'm not there so I can't say anything.

 

Haha, sounds like it!

I don't have kids yet (yeah just dropped in here for fun) but I was a frigging rebellious kid myself. I have to say that the reason that statement attracts me is because the older I grow the more I learn how to take that raw, unbridled energy (which is what passion is really) and turn it into something constructive and beautiful.

I bet what she really needs is an activity she loves that she can divert her energy into. It's going to be unique to her and neither of you may know what it is yet but if you're patient and open to letting her try new things she will find it.

If all goes well she will make very great things someday.

 

I used to get ear infections when I was a kid. Ear infections that were so bad they would drop me like a brick, I'd hit the floor screaming. The pain was almost unbearable. I can sympathize with her, even though I am much older now than I was when I was a kid (nothing like stating the obvious), I can remember the pain it caused.

 

((((((((((RyverWillow))))))))))))
((((((((((((Willow)))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry you guys are going through such a hard time. It sounds like this may be because she is so sick. With some kids, they have to just let the tantrum burn out. Once they get started, it just has to run it's course.

If you can, try to get Motrin into her BEFORE she gets in too much pain, on a schedule. It is harder to overcome horrible pain, than to prevent it. I know, it's hard, kids often don't realize that the medicine will help them. I give Sage the Uncolored Motrin (yes, more expensive than the pink generic, but she gets crabby from food dyes, so it is worth it.) Also, you might want to look into a compounding pharmacy to have her medicines made with a flavor she will like, so it won't be a battle to get her to take it. Some pharmacies have more than 100 flavors, you should be able to find one she likes, and you can even have your Ped write her some Motrin and Tylenol with that flavor (you will need a script) so that she will take it.

THere is also a form of Motrin which can be rubbed on the wrists. It is prescription only, but it is used in kids who are either throwing up too much to take meds, or who just refuse to take them. Ask a compouding pharmacist about this, as many doctors don't know about it.

Blessings and health to you all.

 

It took me over four years to realize that my oldest child's fits were not your typical tantrums. The typical advice just didn't work with her, nothing did, except nursing, and now she doesn't nurse but once maybe every week or two so that is no longer a solution. The fits became really scary as she got older, and I was afraid she'd do serious damage to her little sister. It got to the point where I had to admit she had something else going on, and I had to figure out what was causing the problem initially, or else resort to the terrors of medicating my child.

Eliminating sugar and gluten from her diet has helped tremendously. I mean, the difference in my child is incredible. Look into the possibility of food intolerance/sensitivity being a cause. Environmental irritants (like artificial fragrances in cleaning products, for example) can also contribute.

 

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you're going through this right now! You've got all my hugs... even the chocolate ones!

I remember my younger sister at about that age... going through nearly the same phase! She had terrible ear problems too. It seemed that it was the only way she could vent her frustration at hurting so much??? I remember my mom doing one of two things with her: (and I have tried both of them on my own kids with fairly good results as well)

First, you can just walk out of the room & close the door. She's gonna yell & scream like murder, but if she's already doing that can it really get any worse? Tell her she may come out the minute that she feels okay again, but that it hurts your ears and you need to go to a different room. That way you're not blaming her for the tantrum, but taking the "blame" for your leaving onto yourself. Let her have her tantrum... but don't be right there with it. And be right there & ready to open the door yourself if you need to, the minute she's down to snuffles.

And if that doesn't work or you get uber-desperate, this worked for the first 20 times or so with both of my children. I'd look them dead in the eye & say "STOP!" (they'd be so shocked that they did!) Then I'd say "It's Mama's turn now" and start bawling. (the usual reaction was dead silence, and a jaw-dropped expression of shock) After about a minute or so I'd stop & say, "Okay, it's your turn again!" and let them bawl some more. Then I'd stop them again & take my own turn... Do this until they're giggling & offering you your turns. It's childish, but you're dealing with a child. And it works better than anything else I've seen for tantrums Eventually my kids got tired of it & would tell me I was being silly, but even now my 5 year old will come looking for me when she's having a bad day & ask if we can take "cry-turns."
love,
mom

 

recurrent ear infections are usually a result of dairy allergy, which can also contribute to behavioral issues. I'd take her to an allergist ASAP if I were you. ((((HUGS)))))


have you seen this article on tantrums? http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/toddlers/tantrums.html I got that issue in the mail right when DD's tantrums were getting bad, and it helped a lot for me to change perspective a bit. It helped when I made the effort not to react negatively to her tantrums, to not take it personally, when I finally realized that my child's behavior was NOT a reflection of me or my parenting ability. Stay calm, be there for when she needs you, and basically do what you are doing, let the fit run its course. Sometimes even adults have emotions build up to the boiling point and all you can do about it is to let off the steam!

 

*hugs*

I used to have terrible tantrums for years (until I was about nine). Don't really remember them, but my mother does. It freaked her out because I was an otherwise really good kid. Guess sometimes things just get too much for kids and as they can't articulate it they just default to letting it all hang out.

Shall concure with the others on the advice.

You're such a good mama and seem to be doing the best thing right now.
Remember; this too shall pass.

 

ooooohhh....amira juat started having tantrums. The ones at home I can deal with as there is the space and time to do so however the couple in public of late I have had a hard time with and found myself running to a private quiet area somewhere....corner, mothers room etc, the teip to these quiet places n the middle of a train sation have been hell on earth for me and those who have functioning eardrums...anyhow everytime these happen it has totally been tiredness as far as I could work out. New daycare and new routine and it has only increased my efforts at continuing a bit of a rest time in the day even if I have to lie down too...nana naps I think they call them at my age! Anyhow the difference is amazing and I imagine that if you were having ear problems this would make you tired and grumpy too...

 

You know, as a mama of three children myself, I can tell you that when my oldest son was 3 years old and I gave birth to my twins, his normal angelic behavior turned into, well, very little to be desired. I was really worried about him, the tantrums, the regression, the anger he had towards me. If didn't know better, I swear he hated me during that time. But he had gone through a lot. Two new siblings and a mommy in the hospital for 8 days who is normally always there for him (I had a lot of complications). He had a lot to adjust to.

Your little Willow might be having these tantrums due to the new addition to your family. It could be fueled by jealousy. She sees your caring for your new baby and her way of getting more attention is by throwing massive tantrums. Having a new sibling to compete with can be really hard on a little one. With my son, he had not one, but two new siblings to get used to. But now, he just loves them dearly and is an awesome big brother to them, helps me out tremendously.

I don't know, just a thought.

My heart goes out to you. I know how hard it can be dealing with tantrums. Luckily, mine have all seemed to outgrow theirs. I mean sure, my twins (who will be 3 years old in May) still have their little outbursts, but nothing like it was during the beginning of their 2nd year.

Hugs mama. It will get better.

Much love...