if you were a single parent mother and her 19 year old daughter(who lives at home) got invited to go on tour during spring break with her ex-boyfriend/now friends? we live in MA and w ewould be going to michigan, maine, new york, and a couple other places...i have no idea where we are staying...hotel prices? or his car? and this would be for one week. now if you were mymom.... how would you go about this?!
I would request a plan - when and where you'll be, phone numbers, a rough budget and how you're going to afford said trip. But most importantly, how to contact you at -ALL- times (ok, that's more what my mother would request, but I rather like her parenting strategy so far)
easy. i could give her the schedule. and she has mycell number....and i work??? i could work extra from now til late march...but yeah. thats good! i need to hear how another mother would deal in this situation....i mean...she cant say no right? i dont need permission? i mean im 19 years old! and i know that me probablybeing the onlygirl might bug her....but she cant say i cant go...can she?
control, permission? Really just depends on the kind of mom you have. I mean... it would be best to let her know, to say "it's ok if I go, right? I'll be totally reachable at all times, I have x y and z planned out already"
i suppose. i moved out at 16 for a year, so my folks might have been a little less controlling. dunno.
yeah i know! hmf. she's now like. oh maybe if you and your sister havethe same break we'll go on vacation just the three of us. last time something liket his happened...when i was younger...i had no fun whereever the heck i was. i think i should decide what i want to do on MYYY spring break. and then she kept on repeating " i dont like the fact that you'd be with boys...sleeping." oh oh " his car? is it safe? cross countrying? this doesnt sound safe i have to think about it" and i mean he does shows all the time and i know his car is safe because he told me his parents asked him to get it checked. i reallywanna go...i mean. i need to experience a sense of freedom. living at home. watching my 13yr old sister....having a cerfew...it sucks and i feel like i need to do something grown up and for myself... and i would love to travel this break. with myfriends. help out with his music...setting up or whatever...taking photographs. and ithink shes holding me back. and she doesnt understand that i DONT want her permission....i DONT need it. but i just want her to be ok with me going. and i want her to trust me. and i want her to let me have this experience because i reallyfeel like im trapped at like the age of 16 or something. and it sucskdsckssss
good moms worry about their children ..hell,my mom still calls me all the time to check up on me and i'm 54 ..lol..there is no age when the parenting part ends ..they are looking out for your best interest ..............i have 3 sons ,24,23 and 20 ,and if you think i don't worry about them at times ,guess again
thennn... move out if it's bugging you this much and she's not agreeing to it. You're 19, you're certainly old enough to move out if you want to. Hell, I moved out back when I was 17 (and moved back in a year later, but, anyways long story), worked while going to school fulltime and had a boyfriend. It's not impossible, just takes some work
My mom would tell me she doesn't like the idea but she can't tell me I can't go as I'm 18. BUT, keep in mind....being 19 doesn't mean you're old enough to do what you want. If your mom trusts your maturity, she'll let you go. If she thinks you're not trustable, she'll say no. If she says no and gives you no reason, it's probably not you she doesn't trust....but the people you're going with....or even her parenting skills. If she thinks she's done a fine job raising you, she should have no objections, just the regular "What-if-you-get-hurt-or-I-can't-call-you-I-love-you" mommy stuff.
dude if i did that. i would be kicked out...probably... she wouldnt help me with mycollege expenses.... which would leave me in debt since i would have to payfor rent somewhere else andddd come up with money for college and car insurance.
Ok, I have a 14 yo, and I have thought about this kind of thing (hey, advance worry means I chill some when it comes up, kind of like a book of game plans). I see your mom wanting to be sure the car will get you BACK as much as anywhere else. She is obviously part , a major part, of your financial support, so it's still her roof, her rules. Sit down with her. See what she's really concerned about: boy flaking and leaving you somewhere then she has to get you back, you being sexually active (I know, I know...but moms don't really want to say OK, ya, sleep around) danger in the area you are going...etc.
yeah she said something about unsafe parts of places. but i mean. i have to grow up. take responsibility for myself. and risks as well. she doesnt have to worryabout me being sexually active since myex boyfriend.....seriouslyis Asexual or something. plus thats not the point of this whole ONE WEEK trip. this boywouldneverrrrr leave me somewhere and go off. that i know. and in some way i want to go. not onlyfor myself....and me having myfreedom...but for her too. i want to see how much she trusts me. i mean. it's seriouslykilling me. that i have not experience anything more than a middle school kid has. and its so bad that sometimes i pack myshit. just incase i explode and feel like going off. i reallyneed this trip. and if she doesnt let me go. then im booking a trip to chicago bymyself! ( which i havent told her...because then it might be a definate no...shes like that?!) but seriously. do you understand where im coming from?
