I work in a hospital for this little weedy red head doctor, and every now and then he would sort of morph into Patrick Bateman (The American Psycho) who was apparently some kind of ex of mine. While I was working at the hospital I saw an article in the hospital newsletter written by Piper (from Charmed) about this lady who was really evil, possibly the Blair Witch. Then suddenly I was at home and sort of in bed. My bedroom was completely empty except for the bed and it was really high up and had glass windows all around. In the distance you could see this huge volcano like mountain. So, I was in bed and I started to have this premonition. I was walking up this street towards the house that I knew the Charmed ones lived in, but it wasn’t really their house from the TV show, there was a lot of grass and a hill and a footpath. I was talking to the Charmed sisters about the evil woman when one of them yelled “Look out”. The lady had turned up at the house with a gun. So two of the sisters and I laid down on the grass and Phoebe said, “Don’t breath”. I was trying so hard not to breathe, but every now and then I just had to. My back was really hurting and I can remember thinking that she had shot me. Then I looked up and saw a shadow, or reflection or something, it was really dark by this time, and I could see the women pointing the gun at my back, so I closed my eyes and just laid there all tensed up and waiting to die, but I open one eye a little bit and noticed that the gun was gone, so I crawled up the hill a bit further to where the other two had been laying, but it wasn’t them any more, it was a man with a little boy on his back and a women. The women said to me “Go to the left” and I knew that she meant that I should come and lay next to her so that if the lady came back the little boy wouldn’t get shot. So I moved up next to her….but she was on the right! Then I started to cry and I said “I am sorry for breathing”. So then I snap out of my premonition trance and I am back in my room. I realise that I have to talk to the doctor about what I just saw. As it turns out my bedroom is sort of an L shape and around the corner is the doctor’s bedroom (?) so I walk around the corner to talk to him, but he is naked…and not the doctor, he is Patrick Bateman. So I walk back to my bed and think for a bit and realise that I really have to tell the doctor about this so I walk back around and knock on the wall and say “Excuse me Dr Vanderbilk, can I talk to you?” So he follows me back over to my part of the room dressing himself as he goes. We sit down on these sort of dusty red coloured couches that have a glass coffee table between them and there was also a glass table with a computer on it – these had not previously been there! I said to the Doctor “I am worried about something” and he said “What disease are you worried about?” So I explained to him that I wasn’t interested in talking medicine I wanted to know about the women that Piper wrote the article about, but he said it was all made up and I told him about my premonition and he said it was nonsense, just a dream. While I am talking to him Patrick Bateman keeps appearing, but only I can see him. He keeps telling me that I am fat, and that I am ugly and stupid and all these awful things. I am throwing things at him, but they just go straight through him and I have to keep making excuses to the doctor as to why I am throwing things (the doctor can’t see him, just me). Then I look out of the window and the mountain that I could see in the distance is a bit closer and the shape of the women’s head and shoulders and she starts talking to me in this really weird haunting kind of voice, but I think it is a different language because it doesn’t make any sense. All this time I am trying to convince the doctor she is real because I can see and hear her right now and Patrick Bateman is abusing me and I am going mental running backwards and forwards between my bed and the doctors bed, but the more Patrick Bateman tells me I am fat, the harder it is to get through the space that leads from my room to the doctors. Eventually I can’t get through at all because I am so fat, so I turn on the light to see if I really am fat, but I am not, I am gorgeous. Then suddenly, I am sitting in this huge field of nothing but grass at a table with this really old typewriter and I am typing down everything that has happened because I had to get it out and this voice comes from over my shoulder and it’s my best friend saying “Wow that’s a really great script” and then I am trying to convince him that it is not a script, it really happened and I am really scared. Then I woke up!
well, like your doctor vanderbilt in the dream, i won't even try to analyze any of that, but unlike him, i have no truble understanding your having experienced and felt what you've described. useless is it might be for me to say, i have always enjoyed fx like that, even when, as doesn't happen often, they might frighten me. obviously you're shairing many of the anxieties that are the standard fare of the dominant society that surrounds us all, reinforced by the visual storytelling of corporate media, that has it's own ends for the perceptions of the ground we stand on it gives us. =^^= .../\...
Kali_in_Oz ... ok here's another thought. Imagine life indeed is a script. But you are the writer, director and the top actor, the stage and the music, the auditory, the critic and also the technician behind. You are the dreamer dreaming herself into her own becoming, step by step, breath by breath and lesson by lesson. Is it a dream - ? - yes maybe it all is a dream. But deeper inside you are whole and true and very real, and you are the one who knows best. You are the one in charge. You are the one being blessed, and are the one blessing all at the same time. You are your own true potential that none will take from you. The dream is kinda loving embrace given by your own self regardless of the fears of failure, asking you to fully trust into life and the experience of being here. There will be no failure then ... not in you and not in others ... only growing. Btw I loved this gorgeous volcano !
