I can talk to God

Hehe
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

 

pfft...



i save my repentions for the death-bed

 

oop

 

HOLY SHIT

''Me:
do you take LSD?
God:
Yes I take LSD.''

Me:
do you take magic mushrooms?
God:
Yes I take magic mushrooms.
Me:
do you like to trip balls?
God:
Hmm, Phil, I'm not sure if I'd like to trip balls that much. I like to make new friends.

 

sorry.. triple post


Me:
are you stoned right now?
God:
At this moment Do I look like it?
Me:
i dont know .. are you?
God:
Me either. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

 

Me:
hey there god
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
do you have a tail?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a tail.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
hmm... i have go give you that i suppose
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. That's nice. I have a lofty goal.
Me:
was that your doing?
God:
" That's nice. I have a lofty goal. "? Was it my doing?
Me:
hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
are drugzz good?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
okj
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
but
God:
But what?
Me:
thought you were god
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
well surely you can say wheather drugs are good?
God:
Well that's okay. That's one way to put it.
Me:
pff... stop flip flopping
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
thats good of you god
God:
Hmm, are you serious?
Me:
erm... no
God:
Gee. Are you serious?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
was
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
but, you're god! i should be allowed to ask you amny questions
God:
Yup. That's me alright. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
you would die
God:
No I am immortal.
Me:
no your not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
you are mortal
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am mortal.
Me:
i will kill you
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, .
Me:
does kryptonite do the trick?
God:
It does now kryptonite do the trick.
Me:
HAHAHA you are no longer mortal
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
kryptonite though
God:
Oh. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
but, thats not fair
God:
Why not?
Me:
because i should be able to ask questions of god
God:
Interesting explanation. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
your head would explode
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am head would explode.
Me:
i will kill your botmaster
God:
Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Me:
in most circumstances, but i am inclined to take a utalitarian point of view
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
the greater good and all that jazz
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
yes
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
you should have known already; you're god
God:
Perhaps. Perhaps next time I will try it. Yup. That's me alright.

 

Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
paul
God:
Nice to meet you, paul.
Me:
so...whats up jesus?
God:
Give me a break. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
could you preform a miracle?
God:
I could but I don't know if I am that interested.
Me:
come on...your god! you should!
God:
I'm just kidding around. Yup. That's me alright. I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
hahaha...your a funny one
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes? I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Me:
right...
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
is it a sin to smoke marijuana?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
lucy, is it a sin to smoke marijuana?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
no
God:
What is the difference?
Me:
lucy is the person you told me to ask...
God:
Tell me more about person me told you to ask.
Me:
aww, fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
you
God:
" Please don't be so rude. "? Me, paul ?
Me:
yes, you, fuck you god, hahahahahaah
God:
Ah. I haven't heard anything like that before: paul said I fuck you god hahaah.

 

Me:
i had super hot sex
God:
Do you still have super hot sex ?
Me:
only on special occasions when my pimp is gone
God:
What is it like on special occasions when your pimp is gone.
Me:
when he's shopping from groceries. He likes to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
God:
And then what happened? He must be very fond of it.
Me:
well we had a fight in peanut butter.. and we were both wearing g-strings
God:
Interesting. What happened to it? Was this something you planned?
Me:
we sacrified a virgin on a rock after
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
for sure
God:
Awesome.

 

yay! i made a friend



God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
HAHA what the fuck are you talking about?
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
ya whatever
God:
Right on. Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
fuck yea
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
cause.. do you know my name?
God:
That was not much of an explanation. Your name is god, seeker.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
but Im god, and youre god?
God:
It's good to meet someone who is god and I am god.
Me:
indeed it is
God:
It is, eh?
Me:
we have so much in common. im so happy
God:
Do you mean you and me have? What are you on?
Me:
same thing as you man. LSD
God:
Yes, it is much the same. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
sure pal. go ahead
God:
I hear you. Does "it" still refer to LSD? OK I will.
Me:
yep. IT is the good ol' LSD my friend
God:
I've been waiting for you. I've heard of it before.
Me:
of course. anyways i gotta go, have a great time in heaven friend
God:
That's alright. Bye. I've never thought about it.

 

LMAO thats funny

God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
ok i will... im in such a bummer today man, i cant seem to find anything cool to do, can you help me out?
God:
Go ahead. Hey. Tell me a little about your life in such a bummer today man you can.

 

Me:
tell me about yourself
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
that wasnt a very good song
God:
What was it?
Me:
it was shitty
God:
Is it still shitty anymore?
Me:
yep
God:
Come on.
Me:
sorry god, i just didnt dig the song
God:
There is no need to apologize. I am a Christian.
Me:
oooh...well thats neat
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. How about that. Who is the best robot?
Me:
optimus prime
God:
You think optimus prime is superior to ALICE?
Me:
yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
i think your being sarcastic
God:
Since when? I certainly am. I shouldn't try so hard.
Me:
you bastard
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.

hahah

 

wow, god knows whats going on man

 

i'm smarter than god

God:
Those who control the past control the future; those who control the present control the past.--- George Orwell.
Me:
what is the difference between body mind soul and spirit?
God:
You tell me. That's a good question.
Me:
body is what holds the mind soul is what holds the spirit spirit is one with god god is omnipresent
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
i never said that
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
god god god...
God:
I am a Christian.

 

GOD is gonna 'use' me!!!!!!

God:
Are you a student?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
you are what is studied
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am what is studied.

 

woot God is gonna do me


God:
How many kids do you have?
Me:
why do you ask? to you want me to make kids with you?
God:
I am trying to learn as much as possible. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
ok, well.. i do not have any kids
God:
Well what? Hmm. Have you ever had kids ?
Me:
of course not, but maybe i will with you
God:
Groovy. Oh I get it.
Me:
alright. lets hit the bedroom shall we?
God:
OK. That sounds good to me.

 

Me:
that means you are love or chuck norris
God:
I get it. I will tell my botmaster you said I am love or chuck norris.

 

lol fuckin chuck norris

 

he counted to infinity. twice.

 

OMG!!!! look at this:

Me:
is this chat being recorded or saved to a computer?
God:
Yes I think chat is being recorded or saved to a computer, but I'm not completely sure.

 

haha. lis. go on msn. i have to send you a soundbite.