Help! I'm a young, newly wed. I should be happy. But after wondering if my teacher had feelings for me, i asked him how he felt. Via msn, he's told me - eventually - after me asking him to be truthful. Example: me : what do you think of me? Him : think alot of you. Me : Thats not telling me enough- tell me more. Him : You lovely. Me: Anything else? Him: You're fun. Me : and... Him : Are you sure you want me to say? Me: Yes Him : Sexy :& Sorry if i shouldn't have said that. Me : No, its ok - i had a feeling. Him: really? Me: Yes and then these went on & he told me there was just something about me from day one..... Now, I can't eat, sleep etc... because i think the world of him too. And i shouldn't. I'd go as far as saying i love him - but i'm not necessarily 'in love'?? although - badly, i've dreamt about things going further. Like him. But we've both admitted, it CANT ever & we've got to deal with just being friends. HOW do we do it? ( i CAN NOT stop thinking about him - he's said the sweetest things. ). HELP
By the way - this is a new hobby i took up which required a one to one teacher. i work full time & have my hobby at weekends. The hobby involves going away on occasions as groups & everyone ends up good mates.
I fall in love with my teachers all the time and i feel fine, i feel great when i feel bad they can help me.. and other girls are jealous but we are just friends no more I find it wonderful. But.. one teacher.. She... I knows SHE loves me and that is not fine...That's The Problem
I don't mean to be rude - but this aint some schoolgirl crush. this man & i are in our thirties. and me - i'm as good looking as you ann akim! When you're attactive, it's easy to 'tease' and you have to be careful not to go too far with the men. - Else you could end up in trouble. Me - i've done no teasing to my knowledge.
I'm stepping out on a limb here, but... You said you were newly wed, and that you "should be happy". Are you not happy in your current relationship? If so, it's pretty natural to develop feelings for other people. If thats the case, I'd really recommend taking a look at your current relationship and why you're not happy. Forget about the teacher for now. You need to decide whats going on with you and your spouse before you even think of going somewhere else- decide if you're both willing and able to fix things, and if not, break it off before too much damage is done. Most relationships can be healed if both people are willing to work at it, though. But if you just try and replace a stalled relationship with another one, you'll never learn how to solve whatever problems are causing you to be unsatisfied in the first place. Ask yourself very seriously: why is my current relationship not enough for me? Thats a very good starting point. Hopefully some of that is helpful to you, or maybe I'm just talking out of my ass, lol.
Capn Danger had a good point. In all reality, you should have never went there with your teacher. According to the conversation that you posted, you were fishing for it. You may have had a feeling, but it was as if you WANTED him to say it. I've had crushes on teachers before, but I guess what really attracted me was that they seemed so INTELLIGENT and KIND and GENEROUS. Everything that I ever looked for in a man...but that's his JOB. He gets PAID to be that way. If you are happy in your marriage, you wouldn't be tempted by someone else. And that's where Capn Danger was right on the money.
Well, you are both right. Firstly, what i found confusing, was why i developed these feelings. - Like you say, why was i even looking?....... He's all that my husband isn't - Fun, outgoing, makes me laugh, cheeky & yet intelligent & was intreged by 'what made him tick'. It was a natural attraction. Firstly - should HE have given me his number? - In all fairness, it was on a business card. Secondly - even if i was txting in an ippropiate manner - he should never have responded - RIGHT? He should never have organised sharing a room with me when we went away ? - we were bound to get close? ( nothing at all happened - he was a total gentleman ). The situation being, i was the only girl out of 20 men on a trip & i didn't know anybody else. He says he thought i might feel vulnerable on my own in a room & yes, he did ask me if it was ok to share. Anyway, basically the blame is all my own. I would say i let it be known how i felt on the messages- it was me who wanted to hear the words - i don't really know why. with my husband, we've been together 6 years. Now there's pressure to buy yet another house - which i'm not keen on - can't be doing with the stress. He wants to start a family - again, i'm not ready. I cook, clean, i manage.....etc... & i guess, like all couples, you get attracted by somebody taking an interest in you & wanting nothing from you. With this man, i switch off from what ever realities i don't want to face. somehow nothing really matters because we're just happy & enjoying a passion in our hobby that we love. At the moment, i've stopped the computer talk - knowing too much is dangerous & i'm scared of what i'd end up doing. Together, we've cooled the txting. He wouldn't do a thing unless i asked it - & again, that's where he's sweet. - just leaving all the desicion making to me. In heart of hearts - i want my cake and eat it. My husband is loyal, trustworthy, he thinks about keeping us financially stable, he's sensible & perhaps rather boring. he has NO outside interests at all - it never bothered me before, because he's happy for me to do whatever & he's happy just 'chilling' at home. & that's why i'm attracted to this man - he's got life! He says he's not a player..... Don't know where i'm going with all this now...... used too many words! I'm basically trying my very best to cool things big time. Dilema - i need him for my hobby........ i've just spent hundreds of pounds on new stuff for my hobby.......... Just jack him in totally? there are other teachers....... I'm just going to be SO sad, if i never see him again........
Damn... why exactly did you marry your husband? From what you say, he's a pretty boring, stupid person. I'd say that's totally fine. You're the one who's married. Bound to get close? Not if you're a faithful wife. There's ways to share a room with a person without having sex. Or so I've heard.... If you feel that was inappropriate, given that you're married, then you're the one who's to blame. You should have said, "No thanks, I'm married, and I feel that would be innapropriate." Duh. Yup. You know that what you're doing is wrong. Use your head. Listen to yourself, dude. How old are you? In your 30s you said? You're acting like a silly teen. You already know the answer to this one. Just reread what you wrote; the answer is right there. If you want to ditch your entire marriage for some random crush, then do it. Your choice. Just don't cheat on your husband or you're a bitch and a whore. My two cents. Good luck.
You should become lesbian... you cant handle men. lol jk Ok, You cand handle what youve got, so why are you trying to handle a man you dont have, and picturing sutiations that wont happen, unless you want it of course, you have your husband, so, accept the true...ride him... get the clouds outta your mind.. Mistake by mistake...whatever, youre so far from knowing the meaning of certain things that are more clear than they appear.. a.f.x. the word love...
NNNOOOOOOOOOOO no you are just attracted to the power. Trust me as a woman who has dated one of her profs and her boss don't go there it never works out. It's never healthy and plus you're married what the hell are you thinking??? and a newly wed...careful.
